Part # 20
When Adil comes from the terrace he finds Ashna having her dinner quietly, with others. The atmosphere was unusually quiet. When he comes to others' notice, his mom & Rashi give him a sympathetic look while Dadi speaks up.
Dadi: Tumhe kabhi kisiki parwa nahi hoti na? Uski bhi nahi jo tumhare liye pura din bhukhi rahi? Tumhari himmat kaise hui late ane ki?
Adil just looks at Ashna who was not looking at him at all, instead was gazing at her plate. However it seemed her ears wanted to hear him speak, just anything!! But he didn't knw wat to say; he didn't knw whether he shud say anything at all or not. So once again, he chose the easiest way of silence.
Adil walked away from the place thinking to have dinner later as usual. And in the course, he didn't realize he offended his Dadi by not answering her in any manner.
Dadi: Bas itna hi baki reh gaya tha. Ab to wo kisiko jawab dena bhi zaruri nahi samajhta!! Aur waise samjhe bhi kyun? Naa to hum uske kuch lagte hai aur naa hi hum se usse kuch haasil ho sakta hai. To kyun sunega wo...
Rashi: Dadi pls. AB jaan bujhke late nahi aye, ok? Unhe Bhabhi ki aapse zyada fikr hai, am sure!! Koi wajah rahi hogi and I guess AB aur Bhabhi apne me baat karke sab thik kar lenge. U don't need to get into that. Waise bhi aapko to bas mauka chahiye….
And GR holds Rashi by the hand to stop her from continuing and asks her to apologize.
Rashi: Okay f9. Am sorry.
The atmosphere again fell silent. But Rashi's words sumhow struck Ashna. Now she gave it a thought and realized that he had to be irrovacably stuck sumwhere, else he wudnt be late. She was sure of that, or so she wanted to be!!
At night Adil entered his room to find Ashna awake.
Adil: Tum soyi nahi?
He asked spontaneously and suddenly realized her gaze on him, she was w8ing for him, perhaps for an explanation or apology. And he immediately thought the second was better.
Adil: I am sorry for today Ashna. Main phas gaya tha and I am genuinely sorry. It was not intentional, trust me!!
Trust? Adil? Ashna never thought these words cud ever go side by side for her. But to her own surprise, her heart was soothed. His few words in the name of apology had managed to calm her down and she doesn't knw how. He just said he was genuinely sorry and she trusted that.
Ashna: Its ok. But may I ask tum kahan phas gaye the? I mean anything serious?
Adil: Bilkul nahi. (he replies immediately) I mean, its f9 now. Its gone!! Sorry for the trouble. (Ashna merely nodded her head and lied down when he again speaks up) Ashna... (and she turns towards him) Thank You (Ashna looked clueless as to why he was thanking her, and there was an awkward silence btwn them, so he ends the conversation shortly) Gud night.
He quickly switches off the light and lies down facing opposite her. He didn't want to say why he thanked her. He didn't want to let her knw how much it had mattered to him that she fasted for him.
Here Ashna was still clueless and kept glancing at his side in intervals. She knew he wasn't asleep yet. But it was as if he were determined not to face her side. So giving up, Ashna finally decided to fall asleep.
Next morning Adil was in his room, soon to leave for the office when he receives a call. It was from the doctor who treated his mom.
Adil: Yes Doctor?
Doc: Actually aap se kuch baat karni thi.
Adil: (gets a lil worried) Jee kahiye.
Doc: Mr. Raichand, I think ur mom's condition is improving.
Adil: Improving!! (he repeats the word quietly to himself and speaks up after a pause) Are u sure? Aap...aap sach keh rahe hai na?
Doc: (smiles) Yes Mr. Raichand. Main aapko kal hi batane wala tha but aapka phn nahi lag raha tha. Par mujhe pata hai mere muh se kuch aisa sunne ke liye aapne saalo intezaar kiya hai. Isliye jaldi se infrom kiya.
Adil: Thanks. Thanks a lot doctor. Waise unhe puri tarah se thik hone me approximately kitna waqt lagega?
Doc: Its just a small improvement, but given to the fact that she had showed no sign of recovery until now, I think we can hope for months. A few months shud do, Mr. Raichand.
Adil: Thank you so much doctor.
Adil cut the call in a rather trance. He cudnt blv his ears for a while and w8ed for sumtym to sink in the feeling that it was real. He stared at his mobile to make sure the call had really happened. And now he clutched it tightly in his palm while looking far away.
Everything seemed to be getting f9. The very prospect of his mom talking again lifted his heart. He had been yearning to hear her for years and now suddenly he cud see a ray of hope. Rishabh being back and the possibility of his mom speaking up again; it was all he ever wanted.
Adil felt lighter than ever. He felt contented and perhaps that was also called being happy. The feeling was inexplicable. However he soon felt scared; scared to lose this feeling. He recalled the last tym he had ever felt sumthing close to this. It was when he was finally thinking himself as a member of the Raichand family. He had grown to trust them and be one of them. But that's when Mr. Raichand met wid the accident and everything had shattered.
Adil suddenly feared to meet wid a same kind of consequence. What if his ill fate again overpowers? What if everything is snatched away once again?
Adil felt his throat going dry and gulped hard. That's when he saw a glass of water being stretched out to him. He quickly turned to find Ashna holding the glass.
Ashna: U look terrible. Kya hua? Sab thik to hai na? Pareshan lag rahe ho. (but he doesn't answer nor does he take the glass) C'mon have the water. (he stares at her for a while and finally takes the water) Are you okay?
Adil: Hmm, thanks.
Ashna: Kiska phn tha jo achanak pareshan ho gaye? (he looks at her and she quickly hides her curiosity) I mean, only if u cud say...
Adil: Dr. Chandra ka phn tha. Keh rahe the Mom ki condition me kuch improvement hai.
Ashna: (breaks in a smile) That's gud news!! Pareshan kyun ho gaye?
Adil: None of your concern. Anyways, I wud leave now. Bye.
Ashna looks at his way for a while.
"So he doesn't want to tell me. Fine!! I am not concerned either!!"
And she leaves the bed while hurrying to get ready for the office.
At office, Adil seemed better. He had composed himself and was keeping away the negative thoughts as much as possible. He was working in his cabin when Shekhar rather barges in.
Shekhar: Tumne wada kiya tha, aaj nahi aaoge!!
Adil: Heart attack dene ka irada hai kya? Aise enter karta hai koi?
Shekhar: Tum ghar wapas jaoge ya nahi?
Adil: I am f9 Shekhar.
Shekhar: Got it. Tum karo apni manmaani, meri kyun sunoge?
And he storms out. Adil was rather baffled at the sudden happening. He didn't expect Shekhar to be this angry. He (Shekhar) was always calm and understanding. But sumhow Adil knew he was right in his place. Even Adil wud have reacted the same way.
Adil gave him few minutes to calm down and then called him. But he wasn't picking his call. So Adil goes up to his cabin but he had it locked from inside. Being compelled Adil had to use his master key to open the door.
Shekhar: (looks up) This is called misuse of power!!
Adil: I knw.
Shekhar: Of course u knw. And u also knw that I am right.
Adil: Undoubtedly. But its okay Shekhar. Main thik hu. Bilkul thik.
Shekhar: U had fainted Adil. That's not normal and isse thik hona nahi kehte, as per normal belief.
Adil: I knw, lekin maine explain kiya tha na. Maine kal kuch khaya nahi tha, so bas chakkar aa gaya. It was nothing and I have been f9 till now. Ghar jaa kar bahut achhese dinner kiya maine and kaafi jaldi so gaya. I took care as u said.
Shekhar: Yeah right. Lekin maine office aane ko aaj mana kiya tha, wo baat nahi maan paye tum. Kya zarurat hai yaar? Main hu na. Sab sambhal leta. Ek-do din rest kar lete to kya ho jata?
Adil: Kuch nahi hota and that's the point. Koi fayda nahi hota Shekhar!! And u just worry too much. Tum khamakha chhoti si baat ko lekar pareshan ho rahe ho.
Shekhar: Ye chhoti si baat bahut badi ho jati agar main tumhare cabin me uss waqt nahi pohuchta. And sach sach batao kab se behosh the?
Adil: (sighs) Sorry yaar, chakkar khane se pehle tym nahi dekha tha!!
Shekhar: Tumhe mazak lag raha hai?
Adil: Do u see me smiling?
Shekhar: No, becoz u hardly do that.
Adil: Shekhar!! Relax yaar. I am fine!!
Shekhar: Hmm. Tune Ashna ko explain to kiya na tu late kyun hua?
Adil: Ah...why r u asking?
Shekhar: Becoz I think tune nahi bataya hoga. In fact I am sure ghar pe kisiko nahi bataya hoga tune and its ok knwing that they'll be worried. But I think Ashna deserves to knw. Uska pehla Karwa Chauth tha na, she must have been upset ki uska husband late aya.
Adil: Umm, Shekhar, tum iss bare me usse kuch mat kehna ok? (and he continues further seeing Shekhar is abt to interrupt) Actually, maine usse bata diya hai, but I don't want her to go thru details from u. Wo bhi bekaar me pareshan ho jayegi.
Shekhar: Okay fine. (and he gives in smilingly) Waise pata hai mujhe pehle lagta tha there is sumthing wrong btwn u and Ashna. Lekin kal tum jaise uske liye vrath rakh rahe the and wo bhi jaise tumhe miss karti hai office me, ye sab dekh kar am sure that I was wrong. U do love each other!!
Shekhar was smiling but Adil was not. He was rather disturbed. But he didn't get to react becoz as soon as Shekhar finished, they heard a hardly audible shriek from the door.
Shekhar: Ashna? Tumhare bare me hi baat kar rahe the hum. Actually tum dono ke bare me. Andar aao na.
Ashna just looked at Adil who was looking at her as if seen sum ghost. He was more than just shocked while she chose to stare at him.
Shekhar: Kya hua Ashna? Hellooo...
Ashna: (enters the cabin still glancing towards Adil) Actually Shekhar Rashi ne ye list diya tha tumhe. (she hands it to him)
Shekhar: Ye bilkul bacchi hai. Har baar jab kahin bahar jata hu ek shopping list pakda deti hai mujhe. Rishabh yaha hota nahi tha and apni AB ko wo takleef degi nahi, to bas mujhe thama deti hai. Waise tumhe takleef uthane ki kya zarurat thi?
Ashna: Ha? (she was initially looking at Adil) Nahi actually, I volunteered. Socha ek bahana mil gaya. (and she eyes Adil who was still looking at her) Khair abhi main chalti hu Shekhar, bye.
Shekhar: Ek minute. (observing the parchment of the list) Tumhe chot lagi hai kya? Yaha khoon kyun hai?
At this Adil gets alarmed and quickly looks at her hand. She was hurt in the thumb.
Adil: Ye kaise hua?
Ashna: (looks at him but doesn't reply, instead she turns towards Shekhar) Kuch nahi hua Shekhar. Iss packet se (showing a packet in her hand) ye pin bahar nikla hua tha thoda, abhi kuch der pehle (and she looks at Adil) chubh gayi.
Shekhar: I hope its not deep. Tum na ek band aid laga lo and tetanus ke liye consult bhi kara lena doctor se.
Ashna: (smirks) U worry too much Shekhar. Gud bye & have a nice day.
Ashna leaves the cabin and Adil knew she had heard them. He quickly follows her.
Adil: Ashna.
She stops and Adil walks up to her.
Ashna: Pls mujhe jane do Adil. Even I need to attend my office.
Adil: Tumhe chot lagi hai.
Ashna: Pata hai. Dard jo ho raha hai.
Adil paused for a while. He knew she wasn't talking abt her thumb.
Adil: Pls come wid me.
Adil led her to his cabin and took out a band aid. He tied it to her thumb while she kept sitting motionlessly. As soon as he was done she stood up to leave but he held her back.
Adil: Main tumhe batane hi wala tha. Par phir socha tum pareshan ho jaogi. Aur jab main thik ho hi chuka hu then why bother u?
Ashna turns around to look at him. She knew he genuinely didn't want to bother her. But still she felt sad. It was as if she wud be delighted if he bothered her. She just didn't like the fact that he had lied to her. She is already confused abt the property transfer thing. He was hiding it from her and now again he lied abt the fast.
"Wat is it? Mujhe bura kyun lag raha hai? He is not bound to tell me everything. Hamara rishtaa aisa hi to hai. To phir kal se mujhe aisa kyun lag raha hai jaise main uske liye khaas nahi hu and why on earth that bothers me? Main uske liye khaas banna hi kyun chahti hu? Kyun chahti hu ki usse meri parwa ho, kyun chahti hu ki wo mujhe sab bataye? This is insane!! Wo mujhe kuch bhi kyun batayega? This doesn't make any sense!! I am not making any sense!!"
Adil called out the fourth time "Ashna".
Ashna: (finally coming out of her thoughts) Ha?
Adil: I am sorry.
Ashna: (too confused abt her own thoughts to react properly) Sorry? (searching for words) Its okay Adil. It doesn't matter becoz it shudnt matter. Hai na? (she asks as if she desperately wanted him to answer in a 'yes')
Adil: Ashna? Are u alryt?
Ashna: I shud leave Adil. Bye.
And she quickly walks away. She felt stunned realizing where her own feelings led her. She got into the car as fast as possible and closed her eyes tightly after leaning back.
All throughout the day Ashna pushed away the thoughts that cropped up in her head!!
"Damn!! Why do I care if he fasted for me or not? Why do I care if he was disturbed in the morning or not? Why do I care if he lied to me or not? Main hamesha usse khud se kyun jod leti hu? Ye sach hai meri zindagi ka ek bahut bada hissa hai wo, lekin meri zindagi me sirf ek wo hi to nahi hai na, aur bhi to bahut kuch hai meri zindagi me!! Then why the hell do I feel like crying? Why am I feeling so bad?"
Ashna wiped away a droplet of tear from the corner of her eyes, rather forcefully.
"This is insane!! I hate this feeling. I hate it."
Here Adil was confused as to what happened to Ashna suddenly. The gud thing was she didn't seem angry but it cud not be said that she was okay. She was bothered wid sumthing and that bothered him!!
However, reaching home Adil found her asleep which was very strange considering the fact that it wasn't yet tym for her to sleep. Adil thought she might be really troubled wid sumthing and that's why chose to sleep early. He thought of talking to her later but that sumhow wasn't being possible for the bext few days. Never again wud she wake up until he was gone to office and nor wud he find her awake when he returned. She was clearly avoiding him.
Adil was at first okay wid it. He initially thought it was for better that she was keeping away from him. This sumhow helped him to control his own feelings. But soon he realized she was getting more n more troubled. He wished to help but she was ruthlessly avoiding him. No greeting, no acknowledgement, in fact she wudnt look at him unless it was totally unavoidable!!
Just another night
Ashna was so disturbed that she forgot to pretend sleeping even when she heard his car arriving. For the past few days, this is wat she was doing. The moment she heard him arrive, she wud lie down and pretend to sleep until she actually fell asleep.
However tonight she was exceptionally irritated. She was again thinking of the conversation btwn Adil & Shekhar. Shekhar had said that Adil fasted for her and also that it showed the love btwn them!! Ashna was making faces at the very thought of love.
But that's when she sees Adil sitting in front of her and he was smiling at her. Ashna was stunned that she didn't realize his arrival.
Adil: Mujhe pata hai Ashna. Tum har pal mere hi bare me sochti ho. (Ashna shook her head vehemently to deny his words but that made him smile broader) I love the way u deny it. (and he comes closer to her cupping her face in his palms) I love the way u look at me & the way u look away from me. (he now brushes his lips against her earlobe) Both ways say that you feel for me. And we both knw wat this feeling is called. Right?
Ashna's breath was caught in her throat, she was clutching the bedhseet and her toes were curled up.
Just then Adil enters the room and seeing her like that he quickly rushes by her side. He shakes her which makes her realize that it was just her imagination.
Adil: Kya hua tumhe? Tum itni pareshan kyun ho?
Ashna just managed to shake her head to deny that she was troubled. She suddenly felt conscious of his touch as he was holding her by the arms. She gulped hard and tried to free herself, but he was not noticing her feeble efforts!! He was rather looking at her face trying to find out wat was bothering her.
Adil: Koi bura sapna dekha?
At this Ashna looked at him. She cudnt say 'yes'. She cudnt decide if it was sum bad dream!! While her mind felt disgusted at her own imagination, her heart felt strangely delighted. Ashna wanted to look away from him but the words were ringing in her mind:
I love the way u look at me & the way u look away from me.
Adil: Ashna answer me!! Kya hua tumhe?
Ashna: Kuch nahi. (she sumhow brings herself to say the 2 words)
Adil: Kuch nahi? C'mon Ashna. Pichhle kuch dino se tum pareshan ho. Uss din RGI se aise hi nikal gayi and tab se tum pareshan ho. Whats it? Tell me.
Ashna: I don't want to tell you. Kyun batau tumhe? Mujhe har baat batate ho tum? Nahi na, then why do u expect me to tell u everything? Uss din subah ko tum khud pareshan the and maine bhi puchha tha tumhe ki kya hua. Tumne bataya mujhe? Nahi. Karwa Chauth ke din tumne mere liye vrath rakha aur faint ho gaye. Lekin mujhe nahi bataya. Kyun? Kyunki tumhare paas wo ghisapita jawab ready tha ki "Ashna main tumhe pareshan nahi karna chahta tha". (she imitates him) Arre kyun nahi pareshan karna chahte the? Isse to aisa sound karta hai jaise tum mere liye kitna care karte ho!! But that's not the case ryt? I mean that cannot be the case. Naa to tum meri care karte ho aur naa hi main tumhari. That's how it is supposed to be, ryt?
Adil: Ashna? (he was totally confused after hearing her, he cudnt understand why she was saying all this and on wat pretext)
Ashna: Kya hai?
Adil: Just relax. Take a deep breath and relax. Its ok if u don't want to see me, but pls relax. U think u want to talk to sum1 else?
Ashna: Sum1 else? "He thinks I want to talk to sum1 else?"
Adil: Ashna?
Ashna: No. I am f9. I think I just need sum fresh air. Main bas abhi ayi.
And she quickly leaves the room. Adil however seemed extremely worried and clueless abt the way she was behaving. He didn't knw wat happened to her suddenly, she was literally being weird. He wanted to help her but he didn't knw if he cud do that in any way. She just got more hyper when he tried to ask.
"Ashna ye sab kya keh rahi thi? Wo ye sab soch hi kyun rahi hai? Kya ye kaam ka tension hai? May be I shud reduce some of her work load."
And he heaves a long sigh. The last thing he wished to see was Ashna being so disturbed like this. It hurt him, specially when he had no clue abt wat was bothering her. It stung him right in the heart that he didn't knw wat was troubling her.
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Edited by Sumi_162710 - 14 years ago
Tum Se Tum Tak
Sampoorna
Jhanak
Shiv Shakti
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