part 11
Armaan walked inside his dark office after a long but successful surgery. He didn't bother to turn the light on as he considered about crashing into the small sofa and get a little sleep. As he lay down, Armaan kicked off his shoes, brought his arms behind his head and gazed out the window, watching the rain streaming down the window. Watching the rain, his thoughts drifted to two people he missed the most; two people he hadn't seen in nearly a month. He missed feeling Shona's warmth in his arms, her whimpers and her piercing eyes watching him; he missed having Shilpa by his side, snapping at him each time she thought he was doing something wrong with Shona, the blush in her cheeks each time he was getting closer to her or simply her presence. He hated the exile he put himself into, especially when Rohan was refusing to answer his phone and Shilpa and Shona were alone.
Armaan patted the pocket of his lab coat and took out his phone. He flipped it open and scrolled down through the phone numbers. He pressed dial and waited, although he knew already none would answer. The surprise was big when he heard the connection and someone like panting at the other end of the line. Armaan jumped up, "Rohan?"
"Hey, Armaan," Rohan answered.
Armaan was speechless for a brief second. He had been trying to call him since the day he found out who was Shona's father. He had tried for so many times to get in touch with Rohan and now he couldn't remember what he wanted to say to him. "Are you ignoring my phone calls now?" Armaan asked.
"What are you talking about? I just answered," Rohan answered. "If you tried to call me before, then yeah… I was in Europe for a Conference."
Armaan relaxed a little at that answer. "Did you to talk to Shilpa?"
He heard Rohan's groan as he asked him that. "Don't start again."
"So you didn't talk to her," Armaan concluded.
"I didn't and please stop with this," Rohan asked, letting out another annoyed groan.
"I know everything, Rohan," Armaan said in a serious tone. "You're Shona's father." As he said that, Armaan heard the shock in Rohan's breathing.
"She told you," Rohan answered dryly.
"No, but your daughter has the same birthmark on her waist as you," Armaan replied, reproachful. "What are you doing, Rohan?"
"I am sitting in the bed, with a beer in my hand and I am talking to you," Rohan replied sarcastically.
"How can you be so carefree towards your daughter's life?" Armaan scolded.
There was a short pause coming from Rohan's side and Armaan knew he had added more irritation with that question.
"What is your problem, Armaan? You can't sleep at night because I don't want to be a father?"
"Rohan, you're not like this. You are irresponsible, but you're not heartless," Armaan answered. "She's your daughter… your blood. She is… you."
"Armaan, lets set the things clear," Rohan said calmly. "I didn't want her to keep the baby. I didn't want her to keep it because we did not have a relationship. We just fooled around a couple of times. I didn't want her to keep the baby because I was not ready for such a huge commitment. I can see that you're in great pain because of this and I am going to spare you of it by asking you to take care of them for me." Armaan wanted to say something, but Rohan's words came out flowingly. "If you care about them as I think you do, then be with them. As you said… I am not heartless. I will help Shilpa if she will ever need money for the baby, but this is the only help I can offer her. I am not heartless because I want the baby to be ok and this means she should not know me."
"She's your daughter," Armaan muttered, stunned by Rohan's speech.
"Legally, she is not," Rohan pointed out as he referred to the papers he had signed regarding his parental rights. Armaan heard him sighing then. "I know she's somewhere out there. I will never forget about her existence, but I am not a good father and a role model for her. You know me."
"You didn't even see her,"
"If you're going to stay in their lives as I know you will, then I am sure I will see her one day," Rohan answered.
"And you'll be … what? Uncle Rohan?" Armaan frowned, still not liking Rohan's ideas, though it sounded tempting for him. Tempting and in the same time, wrong.
"I don't know. We'll figure out about that part when the time will come," Rohan answered.
"Rohan," Armaan disapproved with a sigh.
"Be with them, Armaan. I can't. If you love Shilpa and you can't be with her because of me or your… conscience, then you have my blessing. You can love her and she can love you. I wouldn't choose anyone else to be father for my… for the baby," Rohan trailed off. "Call me after you sort out your thoughts and feelings. I'd like to know what's going on with you," with those last words, the line went dead.
Armaan kept holding the phone to his ear, staring blankly. He was free to go back to them. He just didn't know if Shilpa would want him back into her life… at least as friend.
Shilpa carried Shona outside the house and took her to her car. Beside her car Muskaan had her car parked as well.
"I left you another list of nannies I selected," Muskaan said as she opened the door to her car.
"I'll take a look over it," Shilpa grumbled while strapping the baby in her car seat.
"I know I am bugging you with this, but you start the work at the hospital in two weeks and you still haven't found a nanny for Shona. I am leaving tomorrow for Boston, so I can't help you anymore each time you want to leave the house," Muskaan replied, visibly irritated by the indifference that her daughter showed to that topic.
Shilpa rolled her eyes, smiling at Shona, and got out of the car, turning to face her mother. "We are going to be late for our walk," she answered and shut the door before she walked around the car to go to the driver seat.
"What's with this hurry? Are you meeting someone?" Muskaan asked suspiciously.
"I am meeting the sunny weather, mom," Shilpa rolled down the window to talk to her mother. "I don't want the weather to turn rainy again exactly when we get there. I will look over your list as soon as I get home," she said and turned the ignition on.
Muskaan shook her head disapprovingly as she watched her daughter driving away.
Luckily, it was still sun outside. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon in Seattle and the park looked animated by all kind of noises. Shilpa took the stroller out of the trunk and then took Shona from her car seat. She strapped her back, this time in her stroller, rearranged her hat over her head and then pushed the stroller to the park. Shilpa walked slowly along the alleys, just enjoying the warm sun and the beautiful view that November offered to the park. She felt carefree as she walked along the alleys, just her and her daughter.
Each time she remembered him, she missed him. She couldn't allow herself to miss him anymore. Nearly two months had passed since Armaan walked away from them and Shilpa continued to tell herself that she didn't need him. She didn't need him or anyone else to feel complete. It was easy to say it, but it was harder to feel it.
When they got to a more crowded area of the park and two children ran past her stroller, Shona started crying. Shilpa quickly pulled the stroller to a bench and she took a seat as she took Shona out of the stroller. "That's all right. Mommy is still here," Shilpa slowly bounced Shona on her knees while she talked softly to her.
As she found herself back into her mother's arms, Shona stopped from crying and put her head on Shilpa's chest, sucking on her thumb as she watched the people around her. Shilpa gently rubbed her back as she continued bouncing her, now and then breathing her in.
Shilpa gave her one of her toys and Shona excitedly started jingle it. "Oh look," Shilpa whispered in her ear and had her attention for a brief second. "There's the really old guy," she said, discreetly pointing across the park, on another alley, to an old man who was standing on a bench, reading from a magazine. As answer, Shona looked up at her, smiling, and poked her in the face with the toy. "Baby," Shilpa winced and caught Shona's hand before she could hit her again. "Play nice."
Shona stuffed the toy into her mouth, now and then jingling it with joy. Shilpa rested her cheek against Shona's head as she gazed at the old man. "I think he is alone too," she muttered. "I wonder why; he seems to be a nice man," she said, mostly talking to herself, as Shona didn't show any interest in her mother's words. "That's sad."
In that moment, a young couple passed by in front of them, pushing a stroller. That had Shona's attention, which followed them with her eyes as if she understood anything from that scene.
"Don't be jealous," Shilpa whispered in her ear, glaring at the couple. "I am sure they are not as happy as they seem. I bet they argue and fight a lot," she grumbled, although she didn't believe it.
Shona smiled up at her and poked her with her toy again, giggling at her mother's pain. "Would you like us to fight too?" Shilpa laughed, tickling her stomach. The baby laughed and snuggled in her mother's chest. Shilpa kissed her forehead, smiling. The bond she had with her daughter had helped her go through the sad and hard time she had for the last two months.
As she looked at Shona, Shilpa saw her staring at someone and smiling. It wasn't for the first time she saw her doing that. Each time she tried to follow her gaze, Shilpa couldn't see what was catching Shona's attention. This time she was faster.
N/A: In case you got confused, Armaan managed to talk to Rohan a month later after he found out who was Shona's father and then the scene with Shilpa and Shona is placed a month later from Armaan's talk with Rohan, so two months passed since Shilpa last saw Armaan.
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