KHAMOSHI.[ the silence of life].OS..for every girl

luvraj4ever thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 15 years ago
#1
hey guys...i have tried to write another one shot...but it's not based on RN...its a simple story of a girl...u can imagine anyone u like...the idea just came into my mind soo thought of giving it a try😊😊hope u all will like it and if not then i m sorry in advance...
khamoshi...

aaj bhi jab zindagi mein peeche mudkar dekhti hun to lagta hai waqt ke saath sab badalta raha siwaaye ek cheez ke...cheez jo hamesha mere saath rahi...jisse main chah bhi kabhi haraa nahin paayi ...... uss cheez ne kabhi mera saath nahin choda...aur vo thi meri...KHAMOSHI....

ye khamoshi sirf meri hi nahin shayad har ladki ki zindagi mein apni chaap chod jaati hai...

main ek aam ladki thi...bhut aam...itni ki kabhi kabhi mujhe lagta tha ki mere hone ya na hone se kya farak padta hai....sab kehte hai ki har insaan ka apna ek maksad hota hai jisse poora karne ke liye vo iss duniya mein aata hai par aaj tak mujhe aisa kuch khaas maksad nahin dikha jisse poora karne ke liye bhagwaan ne mujhe iss dharti par bheja...

kehte hain ki har insaan kisi na kisi kaam mein perfect hota hai....fir chahe vo padhaai ho ya ghar mein khaana banana ya fir kuch aur...kuch na kuch aisa hota hai jo vo perfectly karta hai...par aaj tak main uss ek kaam ko khoj nahin paayi jisse main perfectly kar sakun...bas thoda iddhar to thoda uddhar...yahi thi meri zindagi...jo shayad maine jee nahin balki kaati hai....

bachpan....bachpan to shayad maine dekha hi nahin....waqt se bhut pehle khud ko bhut badaa mehsoos kar liya tha maine....har maa baap apne bacchon ko bhut pyaar dete hain...jo unke bacche unse maangte hain vo sab dete hain..unpar apna sab kuch kurbaan kar dete hain...mere mata pita bhi unse alag nahin the...shayad har kisi ke mita pita se badkar pyaar diya tha unhone mujhe....itna ki aaj tak main khud ko uss pyaar ke layak nahin bana paayi par fir bhi shayad vo ek cheez bhagwaan ne meri kismat mein bhut acchi likhi thi...mere maa pita...par shayad itne pyaar mein vo bhi uss khamoshi ko nahin dekh paaye jo mujhe andar hi andar ghere jaa rahi thi....aaj bhi uss waqt ko yaad karti hun to dard hota hai jab maine apni aankhon ke saamne apne bachpan ko jaate hue dekha tha...jiss umar mein bache khelne koodne mein magan hote hain main apne aap ko ek shaitaan ke vash mein paya....jiske liye main koi bachi nahin balki ek ladki thi jiska bas vo aksar fayada uthata tha....aaj sochti hun to lagta hai ki kaash uss waqt main khamosh na rahi hoti to aaj mere paas yaad karne ko mere bachpan ki kuch yaadein hoti......vo thi meri pehli khamoshi....

dosti....mere liye dosti ke maayne kisi se alag nahin the...

har kisi ki tarah main bhi ek aisa dost chahti thi jisse main apne dil ki har baat keh sakun, jisse kuch batate waqt mujhe ye darr na ho ki vo baat kisi aur tak pohanch jaayegi...par kehte hain na hum jo chahte hain aksar vo humein milta nahin....jiss dost ki mujhe talaash thi shayad vo mere liye bhagwaan ne banaya hi nahin tha....dil ki har baat jo main usse kehna chahti thi vo aaj bhi mere andar hi dafan hai.....vo thi meri doosri khamoshi...

pyar...pati..apna ghar...inn sab ke sapna meri aankhon ne bhi dekha tha..ek aisa pati jo mujhpar apni jaan lutaaye...jo meri aankhon mein dekhkar mujhe samajh jaaye...agar main ro rahi hun to saari raat mere saath jaage..par aap isse filmy influence bhi keh sakte hain...kyunki aisa pyaar shayad hota hi nahin...ya shayad hota ho.....par meri zindagi mein vo pyaar kabhi nahin aaya....main ye nahin kahungi ki mere pati mujhse pyaar nahin karte par shayad jiss hadd tak main apne pati se chahti thi utna pyaar unke paas mujhe dene ke liye nahin tha...

fir bhi inn ankhon ne sapne dekhna band nahin kiye....jab main17 saal ki thi tabse ek khawaab apne andar dabaa rakha tha maine...kahin suna tha ki har ladki ki zindagi mein sabse khoobsoorat din vo hota hai jab vo maa banti hai...main bhi uss waqt ka intzaar karne lagi jab main ek din maa banungi aur apne dil ki har baat usse kahungi jispar sirf mera haq hoga...jisse main janam doongi...meri beti....haan main ek beti chahti thi uss waqt se jab main sirf 17 saal ki thi..shayad apni beti mein main apna bachpan dhoondna chahti thi...chahti thi ki usse duniya ki harr khushi dungi usse har buri nazar se bachaungi...uske dil ki har baat sunungi taaki vo meri tarah khamosh na reh jaaye..uski dost banungi taaki vo meri tarah dost ki talaash mein kahin kho na jaaye...main shayad apni pari ka intzaar kar rahi thi jo meri zindagi mein aakar usse roshan kar deti.............par shayad iss khushi par bhi mera haq nahin tha... "be practical" inn do shabdon ne mere aakhri sapne ko bhi raund kar rakh diya....yahi to kaha tha mere pati ne jab humein beta hua tha....mera beta...jisse main apni jaan se bhi zyada pyaar karti hoon...vo mera ansh hai....par kehte hain na sapne itni aasaani se peecha nahin chodte....pehli baar zindagi mein apni khamoshi tod kar main apne dil ki baat kahi thi....ki mujhe ek beti ki tammana hai.....par shayad mere kehne ya na kehne se kuch farak hi nahin padta tha....unn do lafzon ne mujhe hamesha ki liye fir se khamoshi mein dhakel diya tha....mere pati doosra baccha nahin chahte the aur ek ladki to bilkul nahin...afterall we can't afford another baby...kuch aisa sochna tha unka ......bas fir kya baat wahin khatam....aisa hi to hota aaya tha hamesha se aur tab bhi hua...

iske aage meri zindagi mein bataane layak kuch hai hi nahin kyunki uske baad maine kabhi koi sapna jo nahin dekha jiske tootne ka zikar kar sakun....

aaj zindagi ki aakhri saansein lete waqt bhi vo adhoori khawaishyein mera peecha nahin chod rahi.....bas bhagwaan se yahi dua hai ki agar kabhi fir se janam lun to iss khamoshi ko haraa sakun....

the end

waiting for ur comments
Edited by rajeev fann - 15 years ago

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RadhaKrishan thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 15 years ago
#2
Hi Dear
How r u?

The OS was beautiful.
It is not about one or two people. Its about every girl.
The idea was awesome..........i agree with this because I have seen many examples like this. In many cases, though the parents are very loving and caring but they don't need to speak to their daughters to decide the main decisions of her life.

Its not about any emotion, its about a life which hasn't seen an emotion of satisfaction. A satisfaction which one gets on having a friend who is more than a life to us, who knows ur better than our-self, with whom we don't need to find words but they can understand our condition by watching in our eyes.

Its about a life who hasn't seen an emotion of love. Love is not that thing or emotion that can be expressed with words, it is a feeling of togetherness which makes one feel that someone is with u in ur every decision and will stand by u for ur whole life.

The whole set of emotions expressed by u are awesome. I have written only that what I felt on reading ur OS. Sorry for boring u. But it was really a beautiful piece of writing with an appropriate title 'KHAMOSHI'.

Do write more.
Luv Preet
Edited by preet09 - 15 years ago
388456 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#3
Hello dear.... I read this b4 u could PM me.... But for once, maybe u don't find smileys in my comment..... Janti ho kyun...kyunki there are some emotions which shuld just be felt....har cheez happy nahi hoti....har cheez ideal nahi hoti....haan, main rehti toh apne pyaare se dream world mein hoon....but more often i face the phrase 'be practical'....its life and no story......!!but i love my life this way.....mujhe apni khamoshi pasand hai....kyunki yeh mere liye ideal hai.....silence in one thing which is never imperfect.... even i don't know why i am writing all this.... I know i shuld infact be praising u for the simplicity wid which u have made me feel sentimental.....
i found that girl in me....though i have not lived a life as hard as hers....i am optimistic and i believe in myself, this thing...'be practical' freaks me out....
And if u have realized it by now....u would know there is no words with which i can tell u exactly how touching this is.....
I love u for wat u have written....but promise me one thing....if ever u get time u will also write a happy and optimistic one shot.....its a request of a friend who wishes there is more happiness in the world even if it is momentary.....
And u know wat i really restrain myself from getting into philosophy b'cos if i do, people will actually start running away from me....i hope wat i wrote wasn't really irrelevent....
with lots of love,
Rajita...who is now abt to cry if she doesn't stop writing....
Edited by sweet.dreamz - 15 years ago
jasmeet khaneja thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#4
wow...it was a beautiful FF.
I could related...to it..in someway.
.anywz do keep writing
Kool_Naina thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 90 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 15 years ago
#5
Hi dear
awesome OS
the idea was superb and very touchy too
har ladki ko kisi na kisi mod par lyf main khamosh kiya jata hai but i just hope ki kisi ki khamoshi ka galat fayada nahi uthaya jaye.
words "BE PRACTICAL" freaks me out.Its seems lyk she is just a thing not n person who has some dreams n wishes.
hope tum aur OS likho but this tym it should be happy one

Luv
Naina

Edited by Kool_Naina - 15 years ago
suhana.dixit thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 15 years ago
#6

Hi Dear

This OS was outstanding👏👏👏...
I can very well understand the pain that girl went through..They say Silence is golden but sometimes words r necessary to express your emotions..No1 was able to understand the meaning of her silence not even her parents..
She bottled up all the pain she went through coz there was no1 whom she cud share it with..No friends n when she got married her husband was not able to understand her..
Life is not a fairy tale n sometimes its just too tough to cope..Same happen with this girl..
In the end there were so many unfullfilled wishes..She was not able to live her life completely...No1 was able to understand her silence..She wanted to express but she was not able to put them in words...
"Hazaaron khwaishein aisi ki har khwahish pe dum nikle,bahut nikle mere armaan magar kam nikle"
Once agaun brilliant work..
Do write more OS😊
Bye
Edited by suhana_dixit - 15 years ago
375400 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#7
HIII DEAR HOWS U ?
KHAMOSHI IS JUST OUTSTANDING OS
I NEVER EVER READ THIS KIND OF OS
BUT ITS FACT EVERY GIRL SUFFERS FROM THIS STAGE
ITS REALLY TOUCHING
DEAR U EXPLAINED EACH AND EVERY SENTENCE SO SUPERBLY
HATS OFF TO U👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
U PRESENTED IT SO WELL
YE KHAMOSHI ZINDAGI KI SACHAYI HAIN
SACH BOLNA AAJ KI DUNIYA MEIN PAAP HAIN
KOI BHI APNE SAPNO KO POORA NAHI KAR SAKTA
KYUNKI LOG POORA KARNE NAHI DETE
AUR AAGE KYA KAHU TUMNE SAB KUCH KEH DIYA HAIN IS OS SE
BAS YAHI KAHUNGI KI KHAMOSHI HUME KAHI KA NAHI CHODTI
ANYWAYS
MINDBLOWING OS
FANTASTIC
EXCELLENT THOUGHT
TITLE SUITS
AND LOVE U LOT

LOVE
DEEPA
362035 thumbnail
Posted: 15 years ago
#8
hiiiii sweety........
the OS was......awesooooome.....
superb......
fantabulous.......
loved it.......
thanx for the pm.......
Revolutionbreez thumbnail
16th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 15 years ago
#9
hi dear !!
Brilliant OS !! 👏 👏 👏
A tear rolled over my cheek as i completed it ! 😭
You have put forth the burning problem of millions of girls very beautifully !
I simply loved it !
Keep it up and do write more OS !
-purnima- thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 15 years ago
#10
brilliant............ 👏 👏 👏......................
penned out emotions of the girl really well............. 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏........every girl dreams of similar things............a b'ful childhood, good & supportive friends, a understanding partner, loving kids, a happy life...where all their dreamz come true............. 😃 😃 😃

at certain stage in our life ..........many times we feel ki humare hone na hone se koi fark nahi padta........😭 😭 😭 😭........... it happened with me many times............ 😭 😭 😭....so i cud relate to this OS 😊.................

really great concept...........it was quite emotional to read......😭......................
but wud certainly expect similar awesome writings 4m u in future too.........
keep up the good work.. 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Edited by Puri_2711 - 15 years ago

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