The Apollonian and Dionysian: (AR) - Complete - Page 24

Originally posted by: NiksAngel

Hey,

R u by any chance related to Sherlock Holmes.....? Just wondering.....dear whts wid the suspense.......hehehe.......loved both the parts.....sorry for not replyin early.....was quiet busy......hmm interestin parts......waitin for d update...!

Originally posted by: Riddss

heyyyy dear,
awsome part
thanks for PM.
continue soon


love
Riddss

Chapter 12: Gravity's clowns

It was two months since their discovery of a mystery man and Atul in pictures with the Guptas. Shashank had advised them to keep the news under wraps for couple of months till Atul saw a breakthrough in his therapy. If there weren't any happy memories to hang on to Atul would be more broken than before. Riddhima had however had insisted on telling him as soon as possible. It wasn't her intention to let Atul know about the deeds of his father if at all the man in the picture was his father because he deserved the truth. At least that wasn't her main intention. She didn't want any pretense between the friends as it would only complicate their relationship and Atul would one day blame them for keeping him in dark. Anjali had vehemently denied telling Atul and was very emotionally vocal about it. It was only then Shashank got a hint about how deep Anjali cared for Atul. He didn't particularly care about Atul's past or the deeds of his father. But it surprised to know that his spunky daughter liked a shy and reserved Atul who was all the more nervous around Anjali.

"Anjali is right Riddhima. Give Atul sometime to deal with his therapy. He is trying to find some happy memories which might smooth out the blow when you tell him about whatever you found in the photos", Shashank reasoned.

"Riddhima, Atul is in a very vulnerable state right now. He is little moody these days as he blames himself for everything that has happened to him. I think we need to give it a couple of months. Besides these pictures are so grainy and images are not very clear. It could also be that we are completely wrong about it. Without evidence we cannot give him a blanket statement, can we?" Armaan reasoned further with Riddhima. Anjali looked at her sister hopefully.

"I guess you are right", Riddhima replied after thinking for few minutes. Everyone in the room had let out a sigh of relief.

After that Armaan had taken to observe Atul whenever he had an opportunity to do so. He had even filled in Shubhankar with their latest discovery and Shubhankar had agreed with him about not disclosing anything to Atul at this moment. All the help that therapy had provided Atul for these many years would be undone unless the news is carefully told to him. The damage on his psyche would be profound and deep and may even have adverse effects which would make him take drastic actions. Shubhankar mentioned that Atul's progress was relatively slow than Riddhima as Riddhima knew about most parts of her abduction while Atul's memory gap was much wider. If Atul had undergone any trauma as a child, it was completely hidden deep and impossible to access at that point. Shubhankar advised Armaan to keep an eye on Atul as he observed minor issues in moodiness.

"Is he remembering anything?" Armaan asked after much thought.

"Whatever he is remembering isn't what he really expected. Atul isn't happy with his memories", Shubhankar had replied helplessly. Armaan couldn't help but remember Anjali's helpless words about how truth could be a burden.

"Atul may lash out unnecessarily sometimes Armaan. Keep your friends in loop about it. He will come around once the disappointment and the anger he is feeling about himself passes over. Once that happens, he will be depressed. Then he would need his friends to help him. Okay?" Shubhankar said to Armaan who nodded in response. Once back from Shubhankar he had told the group what was going on so that if at all Atul snapped at them, they would simply let it go. Shubhankar's prediction had come true within few weeks the group had decided to help Atul in his need.

A nurse had forgotten to pick up scan reports of Atul's patient. Atul had requested that nurse to get the scanning done and expected the reports to be present when he went on duty. She had honestly forgotten among the many other things she did for the day and during rounds Atul had lost his temper. It was the first time anyone had seen Atul this angry and the nurse had blanched at the way his voice rose. Riddhima who was standing close by had watched the entire exchange in silence. It took him ten minutes to vent and rant about how irresponsible the nurse was and after that he took a deep breath and looked around him. He saw the poor nurse who was in verge of tearing up; Riddhima silently staring at him and the rest of the staff in ward was staring at him in surprise. He handed the charts to nurse and walked away from the ward in residual anger. Riddhima sighed. It wouldn't be easy and it would definitely take a lot of patience to put up with his attitude. She decided to tell Armaan about this incident but before that she had a nurse to console first.

Though Abhi knew about Atul's issues in hospital, he was genuinely concerned when he received a formal complaint from the head nurse. It had taken all this intelligence and charm to convince her to let the incident drop and not to make a big deal out of it. Many junior staff had started steering away from Atul and many even refused to help him during surgery. The expectation of finding something good had been dashed to zilch and it had started consuming him first and now it was also clawing at his job. Abhi was worried that the small scale incidents may escalate to something severe and might damage his career permanently. It was then they understood the gravity of the situation Atul was in. Atul taking out his anger on his friends was one thing but when it hindered the work and people from workplace, they wouldn't be as tolerant as his friends.

The fall back had come much sooner than anyone expected. They had forgotten how bad tempered Nikki could get when she isn't in a mood to entertain and when she is falsely accused of being wrong.

"Are you an idiot Nikki?" Atul said in annoyance. The nurse who was there along with Atul and Nikki slowly vacated the room. She had sensed Nikki getting more and more irritated after they started the nightly rounds when Atul had made few comments about patients' conditions and had brashly talked to her when the cart squeaked on the floor.

"Excuse me?" Nikki asked.

"This report is clearly wrong; the tests you asked for, the conclusion of results, everything", he carelessly replied without considering the damage he was doing on Nikki's rapport with her patient. Not to mention insulting her intelligence in front of the staff.

"Do you even know what you are talking about Atul?" Nikki hissed albeit softly.

"Of course I do", Atul responded with a blank face and moved on to next patient. Nikki apologized to the patient who now sported a scared look.

"What is wrong doctor?" The patient asked.

"Nothing, please lie down."

"But that doctor just said that everything was wrong. Is that right?" The patient was seriously worried and she couldn't honestly blame him. They were here because they didn't know what was wrong with them in the first place. If as their doctor she is told that whatever she was doing was wrong and that too right in front of them, then obviously the patients would lose faith on her abilities and her talent.

Now she fumed. Before Atul could continue any further, she dragged him by his arm not caring the odd looks thrown in her direction or the strong protests coming from the man himself. She decided that it wasn't sympathy that Atul needed but their acceptance. They had grossly underestimated and miscalculated the situation it was damaging Atul more than anyone else. She dragged him to a now defunct operation theater and locked the door. The basic sound proof the room provided was good enough and much needed since they both were going to raise their voices soon.

"What is your problem Atul? Why are you being such a prick all the time?" Nikki blasted.

"I have no problems Nikki. I merely made an observation back in the ward." Atul responded. He knew how vicious Nikki can get if she wanted to.

"Is that how one does it Atul? In front of the patient themselves? What is this, first day as a doctor?" Nikki mocked him on purpose. She had had enough of his moodiness and wanted him to vent out all his anger in one shot and let them know and understand what exactly he was feeling. Being an orphan and without any parental love during pubescent years, he had learned very early to bottle up all emotions and always present a happy face. Nikki was frustrated with his attitude but she always let the matter drop knowing that Atul always shared his feelings when he felt the need to. After being with the group he was opening up more and more for which she was truly happy. But after knowing few things about his past, he had again retreated back to his shell which had made everyone edgy.

"Look Nikki, I agree I shouldn't have been so vocal about it but it's the truth." Atul didn't concede which only irritated Nikki even more.

"You have some gall to talk about being vocal Atul. All you do these days is being 'vocal' about everything anyway", Nikki responded adding air quotes when she said 'vocal'. Atul knitted his eyes.

"What do you mean by that Nikki?"

"Are you blind? Haven't you noticed how all junior staff and nurse cower whenever you are around the room?"

"Why should they feel so scared Nikki? Have you considered it could be because they might have felt that I caught them not doing their job right?"

"It is because they are too scared of being yelled unnecessarily Atul. You are a senior doctor and nurses are pretty young and lack the experience that you have. Interns are scared to ask you a question because they get insulted in front of staff junior to them and their patients. It feels the worse." Atul didn't respond for quite some time. Nikki tried to regain her calm and lowered her voice which had raised an octave.

"Everyone has been walking on eggshells around you Atul. We are seriously worried."

"I didn't ask any of you to", Atul replied which made Nikki finally lose her temper and backhanded him. The sound of the slap reverberated around the silent room and the force in which she struck him made him lose his balance and he severed.

"I will pretend you didn't say that to me", Nikki replied in a hostile tone. They were quiet for more than one quarter of an hour. She stared at his now hung head low and the bangs which covered his eyes and gave him a dark look. She wondered if she had gone too far after losing her temper. She waited for few more minutes and spoke.

"And I will always remember this slap", Atul responded bitterly. Nikki averted her eyes. Maybe she was wrong about the whole thing.

"I will always remember the time I was being an ass and the way you slapped me back to normalcy", Atul said in a small voice. Nikki snapped her head and smiled a slow smile. She burst into tears which made him look at her in surprise. She smiled through her tears and he tugged her ponytail.

"I owe you one Nikki", he whispered softly as the two friends hugged each other.

The next day saw small plants tied with a yellow ribbon in most lockers. It was common knowledge that Atul was the environment obsessed guy who presented people with plants for any occasion. It didn't take a genius to figure out that it was his way of apologizing to everyone for his behavior of past one and half months. The group secretly breathed a sigh of relief and Nikki demanded that she should be rewarded handsomely as she was the one who had resolved the matter. Everyone had rolled their eyes at her.

"Armaan, do you think evil is genetically passed from one generation to next?" Atul questioned randomly. Atul, Armaan and Anjali were working on their reports and sipping coffee. Anjali looked alarmed and Armaan shared a look with Anjali.

"Why are you asking Atul?" Armaan asked carefully.

"I was curious", Atul replied not looking at him. Anjali nodded at Armaan.

"Being evil or being bad is not completely genetic. All of us are born with a certain capacity to handle our mood and all our emotions. The degree to which this capacity can be varied lies solely with us. Also various environment stressors act upon during the course of growing up thus changing our psychological footprint all the time. So even if being evil is genetic, it need not necessarily be a primary psychological trait in all us." Armaan replied hoping that Atul would understand what he was really trying to say. If Atul's memory was coming back and realized what had happened in childhood and if the man in the photos was really his father, then it was important for him to understand that they didn't believe that he can be someone like his father.

"So technically most if not all are capable of evil things. Is that what you are trying to say Armaan?"

"Yes. In all of us two juxtaposed contrasting natures exist; a dichotomy which has to exist to fulfill existence of one another. It is up to us to control the chaos, the immoral and the irrational. And this is achieved by the way we choose to lead our life", Armaan replied. He was now certain that Atul had found out something about his past which would compromise their relationship with him. But Atul had not been forthcoming when everyone had asked what he found in therapy. They sensed the question put him off so they had let him be.

"I think my father was an evil man Armaan. No, I am actually sure of it", Atul said. Armaan and Anjali could only look at him in bewilderment.

To be continued.

another awesome part. i liked nikki's and atul's convo and the way she brought him back to his real self.