It Had To Be You (part 11) AK ff pg 121 4/26/10 - Page 76

okie will wait for 2 more days....................and u have promised for a longer part so no prob take ur time......................

PART 9:

Thanks for all your patience guys. Hope to get back into the groove after this update. I will respond to your comments individually this time...sorry couldn't do it for part 8 but i have read all ur wonderful comments :)

As time went by, my feelings for you went through a cyclic pattern of uncertainty, denial and extreme confusion. As a senior, I felt stretched between school, college admissions and my ever so busy social life. Despite all the mayhem in my life, you were still there- a permanent fixture in my life whom I chose to acknowledge or ignore at my convenience. I hate to admit it, but I think I had started taking you for granted. When I needed you, you were always there for me- you listened to my woes when my parents gave me grief about my not-so-impressive GPA, helped critique my college application essays, and even discuss my dates and crushes with you, but what I failed to share with you were my true feelings about you. After my date with Mishti, you had become more nonchalant about by flings and dates. Either, you were indifferent about my relationships, or you had figured out that those brief flings meant nothing to me'.and to you either.

What eighteen years of my bleary eyed existence couldn't accomplish, eighteen days into my second month of senior year (12^th grade) managed to achieve- lifted that invisible but hazy glass of uncertainty from my confused emotions. His name was NISHANT. A tall, shy, fairly good looking guy, fresh off the boat- a name used for recent Indian immigrants, son of a rich Indian businessman from Mumbai, joined our senior class after the start of the year. What were his parents thinking, was my first question. With a downward gaze and an innocent expression, his Indian accent and Indian-ness soon became a topic of discussion in the cafeteria, library, classrooms and after school parties.

"How does this guy even expect to graduate from Rockbrook?"

"Are his parents crazy or what?"

"His dad is a rich diamond jeweler. I bet he could get into any college. School is just a formality for this guy."

"Lucky son-of-a-b***h!"

"He just looks so lost!"

"He is soooo NOT AMERICAN!"

"Imagine him at the prom'.ha ha'."

"No girl would say yes to him."

I kept a distance from Nishant, refusing to indulge in the 'mock-Nishant' sessions held by my classmates. At the same time, I didn't go out of my way to befriend him either. While I ignored his existence, I got the shock of my life when I saw Suryabhan uncle drop him off at school one morning.

"Kripa! Why did your dad drop Nishant to school?" I cornered you near your locker.

"Oh'because I had an early morning choir practice today."

"So?"

"Soooo'so Nishant couldn't ride with me this morning."

"Ride with you?"

"Yeah'.well, I guess you have been too preoccupied to notice, that your new classmate rides with me every day."

"W-why?" I couldn't hide my curiosity.

"Because he doesn't have a US driving license yet."

"Do you drive everyone who doesn't have license?"

"Angad! What do you really want to know?" You gave me that cold stare that usually indicates get-to-the-point-Angad-don't-talk-in-circles.

"H-how do you know him?"

You slammed the locker door and folded your arms defiantly, "he lives with us because his dad is a childhood friend of dad's. I hope that answers your question. May I know why you are getting so nosey?"

"H-he just looked a little s-suspicious'that's it," I averted my gaze for want of a better explanation.

You chuckled and shook your head, "my goodness Angad. Is that what you think about him? Nishant is a good guy and unlike all you seniors, I will make sure he adjusts in high school well. I think you guys will make good friends. He loves basketball too. Should we all meet for coffee after school?"

"No..that's all right. I am b-busy this afternoon," I walked away, a little embarrassed and in no mood to extend a hand of friendship to a potential threat.

After that day, I kept a close eye on Nishant and your whereabouts. There was no doubt in my mind that Nishant was besotted by you (we guys can recognize that look very well.) He stared at you like a lost puppy dog while you guided him through the corridors of the school. My emotions sizzled with anger and jealousy; I lost my focus at school, my grades started slipping again, mom and dad gave up on my prospects of getting into a decent college. I became irritable and short tempered but never mustered the courage to ask you the truth- Kripa, do you like Nishant?

"Looks like Krips has finally found herself a boyfriend." One day, someone made a comment that had me flying off the handle.

"What the ****!!!!" I confronted the person, "he is not her boyfriend. She is just doing him a favor because their dads are friends'.I hope you understand that dude!"

"Oh yeah? How can you be so sure?"

"She told me so'.got it! Don't you dare link Kripa with any guy. She hates that kind of stuff."

"Cool it Angad! I was just kidding man'wow'.looks like someone has very strong feelings for Kripa'and I bet it's not that new Indian dude," he brushed his shirt and walked off with a smirk.

Nishant's presence had made me insecure about you. I needed to talk to someone about my feelings. Josh and I had never shared a heart-to-heart rapport. Aaliya was too busy pleasing Josh and Prithvi, lost in his paintings, was too inexperienced in the matters of the heart. There was one person who could help me sort out my feelings- Mishti! Mishti, who had just graduated from high school, was going strong with Kartik. They were both at the same college now (I am sure Mishti's diplomat dad convinced NYU to accept her despite her borderline grades.)

"Mishti'.hi this is Angad." She was my call for help. I knew I could trust her opinion in these matters.

"Ok'.so Mr. Angad Khanna is jealous?" Mishti teased me when I met her at a burger joint near NYU later that week.

"Of course not Mishti! Why should I be jealous? I just think that Kripa is giving him way too much attention. In fact, that dude will never be able to find his way around school or make any friends if she keeps holding his hand."

"Oh'so they have been holding hands?" Mishti winked at me.

"I didn't mean literally'come on Mishti, you know what I mean," I was getting impatient.

"Then how do you know that they have not been holding hands?"

"I know Mishti!"

"Do you follow them around everywhere?"

"Y-yes'I do," I replied sheepishly.

"Coward! Be a man! Go ask her out. If she likes Nishant, she will say no."

"Mishti! I guess you don't know Kripa. How can I ask her out? Kripa is not that kind of a girl."

"Ok'then in that case, do something special for her."

"Like what?"

"Something that she will really like'.you can also gauge by her reaction whether she is interested in you or not."

"Interested in me? Are you kidding? Why would she be interested in a guy like me? We are poles apart and besides, she is not my types." I dismissed her idea.

"You are the most confused guy I have ever met Angad." Mishti gave me an incredulous look.

"I am not confused." I felt slighted.

"Of course you are'.why do you want her attention then? Why does this Nishant guy bother you that much?"

I sat still staring at Mishti with a piece of burger meat hanging from my parted lips.

"Angad'tell her what you feel'before it's too late sweety." Mishti removed the piece of meat on my lips with her fork, "or else you will dangle like this piece of meat, neither here, nor there."

"Ok," I chewed on my burger, "she is turning 17 next week. I want to take her out for the Jay Sean concert. She is crazy about him. What do you think?"

"Brilliant! Now that's a man thinking there. Not a confused boy," Mishti ruffled my hair as if she was petting a dog.

"Ok'I will buy two tickets'just her and me."

"Excellent! But, you know, the show is sold out."

"Really?"

"Unless you get hold of some scalper tickets."

"Those are expensive."

"Yeah'but isn't she worth it?" Mishti smiled.

"I guess you are right," I smiled and wiped my face, "thanks Mishti'I knew only you could help."

"Tell her what you feel. That's more important than those scalper tickets." Mishti got up after paying her half, "got to go now. Kartik would be waiting for me dear. Take care," she gave me a quick peck on the cheek and disappeared into the street.

I pondered at her statement- tell her what you feel.

"Nothing!" I shrugged my shoulders and walked off towards the subway station, feeling clear headed and happy after a long time, "I just want to make her happy and give me more attention than Nishant!" Yeah, I convinced myself that I felt nothing for you, but spent the whole night scavenging the net for low priced scalper tickets for the show.

Next morning, I had managed to place two $200.00 tickets on hold, but I had no idea how I was going to fund that kind of money. My allowance was on hold till my GPA showed any signs of improvement and I was too proud to ask my dad for that much cash. Besides the cash, I knew that even if you said yes, Suryabhan uncle could possibly create a hurdle. I knew you had never gone out on a date or an outing with a boy and there was no way, I could afford to buy tickets for the rest of our gang. Besides, I wanted this to be a special occasion for just you and me.

I stared outside my window in search of answers.

"Leaves!" As I saw the dried autumn leaves blow all over the neighborhood, I jumped up with joy. It was just the beginning of fall and I knew Suryabhan uncle loved his yard to be spotless and manicured even during the cold and breezy times of the year. This was also a golden opportunity to show him that I was a responsible boy now, capable of taking care of his daughter.

"Good morning uncle!" I skipped school that morning and startled Suryabhan uncle in his drive way. With a rake in one hand and dressed in old jeans and a t-shirt, I gave him a cheerful smile.

"Good morning Angad," he removed his sunglasses, frowning at me, "shouldn't you be in school this morning?"

"I have no classes today'I mean'nothing important."

"Oh..I see'.do you need something from me? I was on my way to work."

"Oh please go ahead. I was just wandering around the neighborhood to see if anyone needed their lawns raked. Looks like fall is here early this year. Your yard could use some cleaning sir'may I?" I lifted my rake.

"Hmm'.that would be nice," he looked around at his yard, "but I can have my gardener do it too'why do you want to do it?"

"I need to earn some cash sir....it's kind of urgent."

"Oh''.I am glad you are finally taking some responsibility. Sure, go ahead. I will pay you $5.00 an hour."

"Thank you uncle'I mean sir'.I will be here every day."

"I don't think you need to do it every day'.once a week will suffice."

"Oh," I was disappointed, "but'but'is there anything else I could do sir? I would love to help you out with errands or anything you want. I..I really need to make some money."

"Hmm'.let me think."

"I can wash your car'take it for service'..drop off your laundry'.do anything sir."

"Ok'sure'but remember it's still $5.00 an hour."

"Yes sir'I understand."

"How much money do you really need?"

"Uh'about $500.00," I needed some extra cash in case you wanted to buy drinks, popcorn or any souvenirs.

"That's a lot of money. How soon do you need that?"

"Uh'within a week," I hesitated.

"Ok'in that case why don't you work at my office after school."

"Really? What kind of work?" I was pleasantly surprised to see Suryabhan uncle's interest in my life'.he does have a heart.

"We need someone to move boxes. We are moving to another building. Instead of paying a moving company, I can probably get a better deal with a desperate 18 year old." He smiled (a first for me.)

"That'd be my pleasure uncle'I mean sir."

"Ok'.Angad," he checked his watch, "I am off to work. See you at 5 at my office.....here is my card."

"Thank you sir," I nodded politely and got down to work.

I worked really hard that week. Besides taking care of the lawn, I skipped school and worked at a gas station during the day and then hauled boxes between your dad's two offices separated by 15 floors. I think Suryabhan uncle was impressed with my diligence and responsibility. His fleeting smiles and nods of approval as I lifted the boxes full of files were enough to recharge me for another day of hard physical labor. As I was eighteen and officially an adult, I managed to trick my doctor into writing a medical note for my absence from school that week. I knew I would have to work harder to bring my grades up again, but my 18 year old brain had only one mission at that time- tickets to the show!

By the end of the week, I had $480.00 of hard earned cash-my first salary. After purchasing the two tickets, oozing with over confidence, I knocked at your door. I planned to do this the right way- take permission from your dad before asking you out. There was no way he could say no to me this time- we were practically buddies now.

WRONG! I was so wrong, especially about the buddy part

"What?" Suryabhan uncle froze when I asked his permission to take you out for the Jay Sean concert for your birthday, "are you crazy Angad? Just because you hauled a few boxes for me, you think I am going to allow Kripa to accompany you all alone for a concert? I should have never hired you. I thought you were finally growing up'.I wanted to give you a chance, but I am appalled you did this all for a date, that too with my daughter? Why did I think you needed that cash for something more noble'you did it for a date? Is generation ka kuch nahin ho sakta!!!"

"Uncle'I mean sir'it's not really a date. Trust me we are just good friends. I just wanted to do something for her birthday. She really loves Jay Sean."

"She does?" He was displeased, "when does she find time to listen to music? She couldn't be wasting time in high school."

"Oh'well, she is good at multi tasking, music helps her concentrate better'..her SAT scores will be much better after this concert uncle," I fumbled and stuttered, trying my best to present this concert as a supplementary educational activity, but your dad was way too smart for me.

"Angad, let's do one thing," he took the envelope of tickets from me and slid it into his pocket, "I will make sure Kripa goes for the concert, after all, it could potentially help her prepare better for her SAT exam, but I am sorry Angad, she cannot go out with you."

"But why uncle? I-I am her friend. I will take good care of her."

"Just like you did when, for a few seconds of pleasure, you almost choked yourself to death?" This time his smile was not friendly, but an evil grin that gave me the jitters. I felt the blood flow in my veins stop for a few seconds; how did he know? I thought that was our little secret, my dark secret that you had promised to keep. I felt betrayed, as if someone had stabbed me in the back. I hung my head, unable to refute the charges against me.

"I will let Kripa know that this was a birthday gift from you'.now good night son. I have a long day at work tomorrow."

That was my clue to leave. Why were Gayatri aunty and you not at home that evening?

"Th-thanks uncle," I turned around to leave, but your heartless dad (sorry'.I can't help calling him that) tapped my shoulder to add to my woes, "by the way, we still have some boxes left in the old office. Do you need to make some more money?"

"No thanks uncle. I have enough for now." With an acrid expression, I left your place. I am not sure what hurt me more- not being able to go out with you or the thought that you might have betrayed me?

Disheartened and deflated, I decided to distract myself with my pending school assignments and homework, but all my efforts were futile. I spent the next few days sulking and staying aloof from all my friends.

A few days later, I was mortified when I overheard Nishant talking to someone in the cafeteria about how awesome the Jay Sean concert was!

I couldn't control my impulses and mumbled, "how dare you?" I slammed my tray on Nishant's table and sat across from him, "so, you saw the Jay Sean concert?"

"Yeah'.it was awesome!" Nishant smiled sweetly. If it were not for those innocent, child-like expressions, I would have punched his teeth out that day.

"I bet it was an expensive concert!" I gnashed my teeth.

"Oh..I don't know. Suryabhan uncle gave us the tickets."

"US????" I hit the roof when I heard him say US. Since when were he and you an US?

"So, you really didn't have to work hard for those expensive tickets?" I gave him a dirty look but he returned it with his characteristic saccharine laced smile, "not at all'.I have never had to work hard you see. My dad is a rich man."

My patience was running out. This was not fair. Here he was- a rich, spoilt kid, new to the country, new to the school and had already staked claim on you, my hard earned tickets and a free pass to the concert, and me- the loser, did all the hard work, ended up with nothing but misery. I was upset at the whole Sharma clan and their permanent guest- I hated you all at that moment. Offended and upset, I picked my tray and walked away in a fury.

"Did I say something wrong?" I overheard Nishant asking the boy sitting next to him.

"I really don't know why he is so ticked off?" The boy replied.

My anger knew no bounds - you had been given permission to go for the concert with Nishant, who barely knew you or your family, and me, who had known you since you were in diapers, was considered unworthy of accompanying you?

It had been a long time, since I had taken out my anger on a wall or a door. I punched my locker door so hard that I created a crater in the metallic door.

"ANGAD!" You ran towards me, "what the hell are you doing?"

"Just stay out of my business Kripa. I don't need your sympathy." I winced and cupped my scraped knuckles in my other fist.

"I don't care about you'.I am just worried that you have damaged your locker. You are a senior now. They might ask you to pay to fix this." You tried to open the jammed locker door, "Oh God Angad'..how will you take your things out now?"

"All you care is about the locker? What about my bleeding knuckles, huh?"

"Why would I? Stupidity does not deserve sympathy."

"Thanks but no thanks!" I placed my palm on my locker door, "neither do I need your help, nor do I need your sympathy."

"Why are you acting so weird?" You were baffled, "I haven't even seen you at school lately. Have you been skipping school?"

"Thanks for noticing."

"Angad?" Your expression melted a little. You touched my wounded hand and placed it between your palms, "I am sorry'.were you sick or something? Like a good friend, I should have asked before."

Even though I was angry at you, the warmth of your palms around my hand, made me regain some sanity, "why did you tell your dad about me?"

"What do you mean?" You gave me a quizzical look.

"About the choking thing," I lowered my voice.

"I didn't." You were surprised.

"It wasn't you?" I was relieved.

"I wonder who told him?"

"It doesn't matter." I withdrew my hand; an awkward silence fell between us. You clenched your fists and bit your lip, "I promise Angad I did not say anything to him."

"I believe you Kripa," I nodded and wrapped my hand in a towel from my gym bag.

"Is that why you were so angry?"

"Uh'.oh'not really." Your concern and warmth had managed to disperse my anger. I resisted the temptation to confront you about the concert. It still bothered me that Suryabhan uncle had permitted you to attend the concert with Nishant. That was the last time I was going to try and impress your dad, I thought. Next time, if needed, I would just abduct you instead.

"What happened then? Why were you so angry?"

"Don't worry about it Kripa. Angad Khanna can get impulsive at times'.just learn to ignore that part of him," I chuckled.

"Angad Khanna is not someone you can ignore that easily." You laughed, "sometimes I wonder if you are still a 5 year old in an 18 year old body." I smiled in response, basking under the sunshine of your compassion and sensitivity. You probably never noticed that the roller coaster of emotions inside me were often a reflection of how I felt about you. Even I never made that connection then, but today, at the age of 28 years, when I am writing this piece, I can clearly state if there is anyone in this world, my feelings are a slave of, it's you.

I was still upset about the concert, but never asked you about it. It did sadden me that even though you had gone for the concert, Suryabhan Uncle probably never told you about the source of the tickets as you had not thanked me yet. At first, I was a bit disappointed, but later consoled myself that at least you had a good time- that's what mattered, isn't it?

One Saturday evening, you surprised me at our front door. It was one of the rare Saturday's that I was home as the deadline for my college applications was fast approaching. Mom and dad had given me an ultimatum- you are on your own Angad, if you can't get into a good college don't expect us to support you.

"Hi Kripa'what are you doing here? Anita is out with mom and dad at a dinner party."

"I know. I met them there. Auntie told me you were working on college apps. I was getting bored there, so decided to give you company. There were no kids of my age," you sighed and walked in.

"You are not a kid anymore'.why do you go for all those boring parties?"

"I like to stay in touch with all the uncles and aunties," you shrugged your shoulders, "after all they are an extension of my family'..we have grown up with all of them around."

"Who wants an extended family? I can't handle my own family," I chuckled.

"You will probably miss them in college."

"I don't think so," I replied haughtily, "I hate those parties. Men just discuss their investments, and women their husbands'yawn," I chuckled.

"I am sure we will be like them when we are their age."

"No way," I ran my fingers through my hair; they were all disheveled as I had been engrossed in my college app essays.

"Don't fix them. They look nice that way," you startled me with your comment. I noticed you gazing at my hair with a longing expression, your eyes luminescent as if captivated by my windswept look. If I had not known you well, I would have thought you were hitting on me.

"You like my messy hair?" I downplayed your reaction.

"Not always'..but right now, yes." I think you were startled by your comment and deftly changed the subject, "do you need any help with the essays? I can critique them if you want. Aunty asked me to check them out."

"Sure'.let's go to my room." As you followed me to my room, a strange but exhilarating sensation filled my body. Not that you had not been to my place before; you were well aware of my messy room, but we had never been alone at my house this late in the evening. Your comment on my hair had stirred a familiar electrifying sensation similar to the one from the snowy afternoon. We went past the dimly lit stairway and hallway that led up to my room. I turned around and noticed that you looked so different under the diffuse lights. It was as if I had never seen you before. Why had I not noticed how beautiful you were? Your thick black, shoulder length hair, long eye lashes and a crimson hue on your cheek bones had me awestruck. I stood still at my door, my pupils dilated; blood gushing through my veins, a familiar sweet throb inside me reminding me of how roused I was at that moment.

We stood quietly outside my room, our gaze locked in each other. If it were another girl at school, I would have made a pass at her and planted a kiss on her lips without any depth of feeling, but that evening, I stifled my inner most desires and mumbled, "should I print out my essay? That will be easier to read. "

"Y-yeah'sure," you came out from what looked like a trance, "uh'I will wait downstairs in the living room. Do you mind bringing it there?"

"Sure," I nodded.

Our brief but tense moment that left a soft tingling inside me came to an abrupt end thanks to my college app essays.

All the tenderness vanished as soon as you became the critique to my essays; you dissected, chopped, edited and commented on my essay like a true professional. I was amazed by your expertise in this area.

"Wow Kripa, you are really good. I wish I had not wasted my time before. You should be a journalist or something." I was blown away by your suggestions and criticisms.

"I know," you smiled, "that's what I want to do'.but.."

"But what?"

"But dad wants me to be a doctor, or an engineer."

"I am sure you would be good at those professions too."

"No..I really want to be a writer or a journalist'.uh..well'.I still have a year to decide. I should leave now. You can work on your essays in peace," you picked your bag to leave.

"I can't thank you enough," I touched your shoulder, "I am lucky to have you as friend."

"Me too," you smiled.

"Me? What have I done to earn that honor?"

"Thanks for the Jay Sean tickets."

"Oh," My face fell, "hope you liked the concert."

"I am sure it was good, but I didn't go."

"You didn't go?" I didn't know whether I was happy or sad to hear that.

"Yeah'.dad wanted me to go with him or mom. Come on, how boring would that be?"

I was bemused, "really? But I know Nishant went for the show."

"Dad would never let me go out with him'or for that matter any other boy'even you."

"I know," I lowered my eyes, "I am sorry, I really wanted you to see the show."

"It's the thought that matters. I know those tickets were expensive. Is that why you missed so much school?"

"Well'don't worry about it. You helped me with my essay, now I am all caught up, isn't it?" I laughed.

"Thanks again Angad. Good luck with the apps. Bye!" You turned around to leave. I walked you over to your car. I did not want that evening to end. How I wish you could have stayed back and we could have just talked. I promise I would have never crossed any limits. Just having you around was a pleasure.

As you backed out from our driveway, I yelled back, "so who did Nishant go out with?"

"HIS SISTER!"

My jaws dropped to my knees as I rolled over laughing at my own insecurities and rush to judgment.

'to be contd'.prom next part'

As always, beautiful! Beautiful portrayal of Angad coming of age, Bheegi.

wowwwwwwwww brilientpart love ak plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz con soonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

yeahhhh u continued.....loved the part....angad is so sweet for working sooo hard to get her jay sean tickets.......i hope ak confess soon that they like each other u leave it always as a cliff hanger....i hope angad gets into a good college......and hope kripa gets to study journalism,........plz continue soon......

Originally posted by: annu127

fixed it....it is that ctrl F button that does it...thanks annu

awesome wonderful treat after many days.............................angad is one confused guy...................despite that hes very possessive of kripa...............and wants her attention more................he considered nishant his potential threat but surya is too very protective of his lil' gal................kripa is very lovely...............she didnt betray him as he thought and didnt go to the concert as angad concluded she going with nishant............but he tried too hard to earn his first pay just to take kripa out and make her happy...................thats nice of him and whenever hes angry or depressed kripa's presence does wonders to him and he realises it..............kripa is somewhat attracted to him i think when she commented his ruffled hair and near the room scene...................oh cant wait for the next part....................hes 18 now and still 10 more years for the present situation...................cont soon di this time.................