hey guys!
im back w/ another os
this one was for afsha's b'day a couple of weeks back but i didn't get the time to post it so im posting it now
and sorry i cudn't reply to everyone personally this time but i want you guys to know that i appreciate each and everyone comment i get, they make my day!
so yea heres the OS
Over-thinking
It's been my habit since childhood, I over-think everything! From deep things to why I was born to petty stuff like what will happen today if I wear green instead of blue. Even though I hated this habit of mine, I couldn't grow out of it. I just had to over-think! So when he said hi to my twin Gunjan and not me that first day of college, forced by habit, I had to think of a reason for it. Did I annoy him? Did I smell? I had checked myself. Was there something on my clothes? Was there a rip? Did I look bad? These questions came to me, another question that came up though, was more important, Why did I care? I didn't know him, he was nothing to me! So why was I so concerned? That first day was good, great in fact! But I couldn't find the answer to that one question, and knowing myself, I knew that I wouldn't stop thinking about it, till I thought of an answer that satisfied me.
The next day, still bothered by that question, I came and sat at a random desk for Professor Dev's class. Still deep in thought, I came back to reality when the professor entered the class and started to take attendance. That's when I heard, his name.
Prof - "Mayank Sharma"
From beside me, I heard a "here", he was sitting beside me. "Hi" I said to him and yet again he didn't greet me. What was with this Mayank Sharma? I looked over to him, he had this look on his face, I didn't recognize what his look meant, I guessed that he didn't like me. That would explain why he didn't greet me either days! Oh no wonder! It was so stupid of me! So I decided that I would stay clear of Mr. Mayank Sharma for the rest of the year. He didn't like me so I wouldn't bother him. I made a mental note to ignore him. Hey, maybe over-thinking wasn't that bad!
So months passed by and I ignored Mayank Sharma. I didn't sit with him, didn't talk to him, didn't look at him, even by mistake. Yes, I was ignoring the great Mayank successfully, but I was still bothered by that one question from the first day, why did I still care? I had no answer to it, and it wouldn't leave my mind. I was over over-thinking and I still couldn't find a satisfactory reply to it.
Then one day, in the canteen, when I was talking to Gunjan, he came up to us. And as I had done for the past months, I completely ignored him, till he said "Hi Nupur" With these simple two words, a thousand questions flooded my mind. Why did he say hi to me? I thought he didn't like me? What was up with him? Gunjan nudged me, reminding me that I was suppose to say something back.
N - "Um'Hi" I muttered.
M - "If you wouldn't mind, can I talk to you?" Yes I did mind! Why did he want to talk to me anyway?
N - "Uh sure, do you want to talk right now?"
M - "Nah, but can you meet me at the library at 5?"
N - "Okay" I managed to reply. I was stumped! Why did he want to talk to me? What did he want? Thinking about possible replies to these questions, I didn't realize when 5 pm came. I rushed to the library knowing I was late, but I was still being haunted by the questions. I hated over-thinking, yet I couldn't help it! I found him at a table, waiting for someone, I guessed it was me. I went over and said hi to him.
M - "Hey! I was started to think that you were going to stand me up!"
N - "I just, kind of, lost track of time." It was the truth, I had lost the track of time courtesy those stupid questions! "Sorry" I added.
M - "It's okay, at least you came!"
N - "Yea" I replied sheepishly, "so what did you want to talk about?"
M - "Oh yea! I wanted to ask you if you would become my partner for the Interview project for Dev Sir." Oh, why did he have to ask me that? Here I was trying my best to ignore him and he comes up and asks me this!
N - "Sorry, I can't" I said meekly. I saw his face drop, and I felt bad, but I had to ignore him! Staying around him always made me over-think more than usual. And I hated that!
M - "Do you already have a partner?" I nodded my head. "Who?" He asked
N - "I'm working with Gunjan"
M - "But she's not even in our class!"
N - "Well'" I had no reply to that
M - "Why do you try to ignore me with every chance you get?" He asked me, catching me off-guard. I felt my mouth hang open. Did I make ignoring him that obvious?
N - "It's not like that, its just'" I didn't have an answer to this one either.
M - "You hate me don't you?" My mouth was wide open again. I closed my mouth yet again.
N - "It's not like that."
M - "Then what is it? I notice, you know! You never talk to me, you don't even look at me!"
N - "Oh like you do? You ignored me first! You said hi to my sister but not to me! And when I said hi to you, you didn't even reply back! And you say I hate you? You don't like me!"
M - "Is that what you think? Seriously? You noticed that I said hi to your sister but you didn't notice that my eyes were on you! You noticed that I didn't greet you back, but you failed at noticing that I was pretty amazed and happy that you were sitting right beside me!"
Is that what the look was? Happiness?? No it couldn't be! I know how a person looks when he is happy! That wasn't happiness!
N - "No Mayank that look you gave me wasn't of happiness, I know how a person looks when he is happy. And don't blame all this on me, when someone doesn't reply me, I take it as that they are not interested. I didn't want to bother you by being around you when you didn't want me to."
M - "You're right that look wasn't of happiness, it was of something more."
N - "I knew it! That's why I ignored- wait did you say something more?"
M - "Are you seriously that stupid nupur?"
I was about to protest back but before I could do so, Mayank was kissing me. I took me a while to digest that, and then I was kissing him back. In that moment I found the answers to my questions. That look that day was of love! I hadn't seen anyone look at me so lovingly. He wanted to be my partner to spend some time with me. I realized that he was right, he was looking at me that first day. He was right about one more thing I was stupid! And the most important question, the question that had bothered me so much, why did I care? I cared because I loved him too! From that first day, I had loved him, that's why I hated to think that he didn't like me. He pulled back, and I realized that I was out of air. Breathing heavily, I looked at him, he had a smug look on his face, that and he looked happy. He also had that look from that day, yes that look said it all, he loved me.
N - "If this was what you wanted to do, then why didn't you come up to me all these months?" I spoke with intervals, still trying to catch my breath.
M - "Because I thought you hated me, and because I was afraid, what if you said no?"
N - "You could have tried."
M - "So could you! Besides I tried today and almost failed."
N - "But you didn't" And his face lit up.
M - "I love you Nupur! I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before, I was scared, what if"
N - "You over-think" And with that I kissed him. I backed away again, and said "I love you too Mayank." and I hugged him.
It's been seven years to that evening in the library today. I sit here, with the wind blowing, the wind-chime chiming, in my backyard
"Nupur! I need you here" sorry I meant our backyard. From that day I've stopped over-thinking. No what ifs, whats, whys and all those other things. Just me, my life and Mayank.
M - "Nupur you need to eat! You're not only responsible for yourself but my baby too, please come here and have lunch!"
I'm in my first trimester, with our first baby. I married Mayank, after dating him for five years, on Valentines Day, in 2008. It's two years now, and well what to say? Life has been blissful...
hope u liked it
comments and criticism is always appreciated!
Edited by ~*mishu*~ - 15 years ago
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
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