Thanks for the wonderful comments guys. 😃 Really appreciate them. And Huma, hopefully this settles you down somewhat. 😆
Chapter 5 B:
She wakes up to the consistent chirping of the birds coming from outside and the sunlight peeping from the open curtains, irritating her eyes. Her eyelids slowly flutter open and she sluggishly rises from her laid-down position. Her jewelry makes noise as she shuffles on the bed, rubbing her drowsy eyes tiredly in the process. She stifles a yawn with her hand before stretching out her aching arms. That is when her grogginess is replaced with rapt attention to her new surroundings. A gasp escapes her mouth as her eyes fall onto the decorations surrounding all around her, confining her into an enclosed space, noting the intact hanging garlands, crushed rose petals beneath her, and the blown out candles which had been left burning into the dark night.
Her gaze travels to the lone chair across the room in which her husband had chosen to sleep in last night, away from her. Shivers run down her spine as the events of the wedding briefly sweep through her mind. She finds no one there and is relieved of not having to face such an awkward situation so early in the morning. Yet her eyes continue to travel around the room for any trace of him. She catches the sight of the disheveled dresser with his things scattered about, the open windows (which had been closed last night) allowing the cool breeze to enter the room, and the ajar bathroom door giving view to the barren bathroom....
Picking up the skirt of her gown, Bani places her feet onto the cold marble floor and shudders from the cool contact. Her arms wrap around her as she realizes she is quite cold, already developing goose bumps on her fair arms. Her long shimmering veil trails after her as she walks across the white floor towards the unoccupied bathroom, wanting to remove herself from the burdening weight of wearing her wedding dress and jewelry.
She detaches the veil from herself and relieves herself from the suffocating dress that teased her eyes. She folds it neatly and places it to the side before setting to the task of removing the heavy gold ornaments adoring her body. After lifting away the last of the jewelry her attention involuntarily switches to the black threaded necklace resting on her bosom and the smeared vermilion filled in her parting. Her hand reaches out to the foreign red smudge lingering in her maang and feels a strange sensation occur within her.
The person reflected in the mirror before her is not the girl she once knew. No, what she sees is a young woman.... a married woman.... Long gone is Bani Dixit only to be replaced with Bani Walia... somebody's wife..... somebody's daughter-in-law.... now someone's mother.
Bani lowers her eyes as if pained by the taunting reflection before her, making her face something that she was not ready for.... the truth.... reality. She steps into the shower cubicle and seeks solace from the warm water soaking her now naked body. She lathers herself with soap and scrubs hard as if wanting to cleanse herself from a sin.... a sin of marrying her sister's husband.
She cautiously opened the bathroom door only to find that the room is still very much unoccupied. Without any further hesitance, Bani walks out from the steamy bathroom wrapped snugly in a white towel and reaches for her suitcase placed in the far corner of the room. She searches through it in deep thought, wondering what would be appropriate to wear for the day...
After donning on her petticoat and blouse, Bani sets to the task of wrapping the long yard of yellow glittering fabric around her slim body. She begins in measuring her pleats and tucking them into her skirt when suddenly a faint memory crosses her absent mind making her freeze midway of dressing herself....
"Diii, mujhe yeh yucky saree nahi pehni.... aap mere saath zabardasthi kyon khar rahe hai?" Bani whines as her sister turns her around while tucking in the pleats of her saree. Ananya, who looks ravishing herself in a flattering baby blue saree, gives her younger sister an admonishing look.
"Bani, stay still na.... If you keep moving like this how am I supposed to get you ready on time?" her sister grumbles while setting once more to the task in front of her. Bani scowls at this and crosses her arms against her blouse. "I don't want to wear any stupid sari.... My friends will laugh at me.... I look like some aunty.... " As Ananya finishes with her pleats, she drapes rest of the dress onto Bani's shoulder and admires her through the mirror with an appreciative smile. "Oh Bani, stop it. You do not look like an aunty... In fact your friends will be jealous.... My baby sister looks absolutely gorgeous. Saris are meant for you...." her sister compliments while Bani remains looking glum. Ananya takes Bani by her shoulders and turns her back around directing her towards herself. She takes the kohl from her eye and applies it affectionately behind Bani's ear. Taking her sister's chin into her hold, pushing her down cast face upward, she gently smiles at her.... "Kissi ki nazaar nah lagjaaye meri gudiya si behen par..." Bani manages a soft smile in return.... Blinking dumbly at herself before the mirror, Bani gazes down at the pleats in her hand as if it is the most foreign thing she has come across. Taking a deep breath into herself, she again sets back to the task and settles the thin material over her shoulder. Her eyes sweep across the container of sindoor beside her on the dresser and hesitantly reaches out for it. Her fingers gather a pinch of vermilion and slowly fill her bare maang. She stares absentmindedly at herself for a moment before regathering herself and leaving the bedroom....
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"Bani, tum aagaye beti?" Krishna Walia greets her as she descends down the staircase and approaches the main hall. Bani musters a small smile in her way before bending down and receiving her blessings, which Krishna happily gives. She takes her daughter-in-law's face into her hands and kisses her gingerly on her forehead.
Krishna: Hamesha khush raho, bahu....
Bani gives her a blank look from her words.... the word "bahu" having a haunting effect on her already scrambled mind. Before she has more time to dwell on this new change of relationship, Krishna leads her to the dining room where most of the family members are already situated. She looks at them with an uneasy feeling growing inside of her.... She would now be living with these people for the rest of her life.... the very people in which her sister found a family.
Krishna: Chalo... beto. Naashta thyaar hai...
Bani smiles weakly at her before turning her attention back onto the grand table. She feels somewhat at place on seeing her parents and sister seated down as well. Seeing an available seat beside her sister, she makes way to join her, but is prevented from taking a step further by Krishna herself.
Krishna: Arre bahu, kahan jhari ho? Tumhari jagah to yahan hai.... Jai ki khursi ke saath....
She informs while pointing out the empty seat beside the head chair of the table, Jai Walia's place. Hesitance creeps onto Bani's reluctant face as her eyes fall onto the chair that Krishna presents to her. It is Ananya's chair.... A wave of emotions overcome her from the thought and Bani has to try hard to blink away her rapidly building tears. She softly shakes her head before softly replying....
Bani: Jjii... ji Aunty, main Rano ke paas----
Bani catches a look of disapproval cross Krishna's serene face and wonders whether she has offended her. She licks her dry lips and seems helpless with the situation. However, she is relieved when Dadi comes to her rescue, cutting off Krishna who had opened her mouth to speak more.
Dadi: Arre Krishna, chod na... Let her sit where she wishes. Chalo Bani, batho.... khanna kaho...
Bani manages to give Dadi a feeble smile before hastily joining her sister's side at the dining table, seating herself in between her and Anu. A silence fills the dining hall as everyone solely pays attention in filling their stomachs, but Bani was feeling out of place and lost amongst this strange environment. She picked at her food, not having much hunger in her to eat the delicious meal before her. There was small talk here and there, but mostly there was the company of overbearing silence. Bani is grateful with the absence of Jai. She surely would have felt sick to the stomach and been a nervous wreck with him around. He must have left for the hospital early morning when everyone was still asleep.
Again Bani looks to the members of the family present around her and feels a rush of unease grow within her. She knew these people, but at the same time they seemed to have become into strangers to her. Perhaps with the change of her relation with each and every one of them. Before she had been the sister of this house's daughter-in-law... but now she is that daughter-in-law.
Aditya Uncle, who always showered her older sister with affection, also dotted on Bani during her visits to her sister's in-laws. Jigyasa Aunty was very much the same as her husband. She often would hen-peck her and make her feel at comfort with her warm hospitality. Dadi was a funny character with something always witty to say. She'd rant on and on about her favorite bollywood movies even if no one in particular would listen. Krishna Aunty did not treat Bani or Rano any less than the way she treated Ananya with motherly love. Anu, who is around Rano's age, was a sweet thing and almost felt like another sister. The two sons of Aditya and Jigyasa, Saahil and Ranveer, were mischievious and flirtatious, never missing an opportunity to pull Bani or Rano's leg. They were nice and warm-hearted people who always made Bani feel like one of their own. But now the circumstances have changed. Things are not like how they used to be..... How is she going to fit into this family as it's bahu? Will she be able to? Can she fill in her sister's shoes? And what if she doesn't want to? These thoughts tackle her mind for the rest of Breakfast until her father's quite voice interrupts in the presiding silence surrounding them....
Nishikant: Krishna ji.... Aab hum chalte hai.... Aap hume itane din ke liye aapke ghar mein rakhwaaye... uske liye shukriya....
Bani's insides freeze from her father's words and she stares at him with still eyes.
Krishna: Arre Nishikant ji, itana jhald baazi? Taariye to saahi... aap to aabhi aaye hai Mount Abu se.... humare saath raahiye kuch aur dino ke liye....
Kiran: Nahi Krishna ji.... char din hogaye tab hum yahan aaye... aab hum chalna chaaye... Nishikant aab kaam peh wapas jhaana hai... aur Rano ko university abhi bhaaki hai...
Kiran speaks softly for the first time since breakfast had started. Bani looks to her parents with watering eyes, feeling an unbearable loss hit her with the thought of her parents leaving, that too, so soon. She isn't ready..... She isn't ready to leave them yet. She isn't ready for the physical and emotional distance from her family.
Krishna: ..... Teek hai... agar aap chaate ho to aap jhaasakte... paar aap saab phir se zaroor aaye ga... hume aur khaas karke Bani ko aacha laage ga....
Nishikant: Ji zaroor. ... Chalo Kiran.... Rano....
Everyone begins to give their customary farewells as her parents and sister rise from their chairs, ready to gather their belongings and leave. Bani remains rooted to her spot, speechless, until she hears a voice beckon for her attention....
Krishna: Bahu..... bahu..... bahu?
Bani is rattled out of her lost trance with Anu shaking her and turns her eyes onto a curious looking Krishna. She manages to find her voice, squeaky, but there.
Bani: J-ji?
Krishna: Tum aarhi ho, haina?
Krishna asks slowly, noting the apprehensive looks forming on her daughter-in-law's stricken face. Bani dumbly nods after a moment, her throat turning sore from keeping her sobs down. Her mother-in-law gives a slow, affectionate smile.
Krishna: To phir chalo....
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Bani remains paralyzed by the front entrance of the Mansion, where the Walias bid last polite farewells to her family and share small chatter in between. Krishna apologizes for Jai's absence to which Nishikant and Kiran understand fully. Rano stands beside her side loyally, understanding her older sister's predicament and continues to give her a comforting squeeze on her cold hand. Finally her parents turn their attention onto her and Bani lowers her glistening eyes. She feels her mother's hands reach for her face and caress her cheeks, causing the need for Bani to cry to grow immensely. This is the first time her mother is showing any kind of affection towards her since Ananya's death. Kiran pulls her into her warm embrace and Bani finally releases hot tears from her stinging eyes. She feels her mother's kisses in her hair and her father's hand rubbing her back.
"Make us proud, Bani.... Give your parents a reason to be happy. Give this family and marriage your all. But most importantly give peace to your sister's soul by taking care of her family. You are now the reason for me to live my life with satisfaction and no regrets... Make me proud," her mother whispers into her ears. The tears fall fast as Bani chokes up with emotion and nods quickly, agreeing to her mother's only wish. She smothers her face into her mother's shoulder, enjoying the comfort of her mother's arms after so long. Kiran gives her a last lingering kiss before releasing her, allowing Nishikant to hug his daughter one last time. His silence conveys his pain of letting go his other daughter.
Bani tries to conceal her tears away, embarrassed with the unwanted attention of the Walias, who stand from a distance as silent spectators in sympathy of her bidhai... Finally she meets Rano's own watering eyes and instantly grabs her baby sister into her arms, suffocating her into her tight embrace. Rano's arms go around her as her own tears fall fast.
"I'm going to miss you the most, Rano" Bani musters the shaky whisper while holding her sister tight, tears continuing to leak from her brimming eyes. "Not as much as I am going to miss you, Di.... I know that we haven't said much to each other lately.... but I want you to know that I am always there for you. You're my sister and I love you," Rano whispers chockingly back. Bani nods her head, too overwhelmed at the moment to say anything more. Before breaking away, Rano's speaks her last words. "I know from the bottom of my heart that you will be happy here, Di.... This is Ananya Di's family after all. They'll love you as much as they loved her.... and Jiju is always going to be by your side. I have full faith in him and so should you...."
Bani watched with a gloomy expression as her family's car vanished eventually from her sight, creating a hollowness to build inside of her. Feeling a gentle touch on her shoulder, she turns around only to face a sympathetic Krishna who stretches out her arms to her. It didn't take long for Bani to run into the woman's embrace and break down into quiet sobs....
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He fiddles with his silver wedding band in an absent manner in the silence of his office. The beating of the raindrops falling against the window panes and rumbling thunder are all but just a faint echo to his ears. He swivels his chair back and forth while twisting the ring around and round his finger. His fingers suddenly still as images of his recent wedding cross his thoughts, escaping from the farthest dwellings of his mind....which he had pushed there in the first place ever since entering the hospital building. The chanting mantras....the burning fire.... the seven pheres.... the showering rose petals.... the blood red sindoor....
Jai's jaw tightens and a muscle twitches in the long column of his neck. His hand rolls into a strong fist. He shuts his eyes painfully as Bani's tearful face appears before him. He lets out a low groan....
How could this have happened? .... How could he let this all happen? He shouldn't have caved into his mother. Shouldn't have let her words brainwash him. Yash would have been just fine, eventually. Sure the absence of a mother in his life would have haunted him, but he would have turned out alright in the end. He has a family who showers him with amountless love. He wouldn't have felt any lacking as far as love is concerned. So then why did he agree to the marriage?
Feeling the drawer beside him shake drags him out of his trance. Jai pulls out the drawer and finds his cell vibrating within it. For the sixth time this day he sees "Home" flashing across the screen. He ignores it, knowing very well it is his mother who is calling him and at the moment he doesn't wish to speak with anyone apart of his family.... nor does he want to think of home.
"Walia, you coming?" a sudden voice calls out for his attention. Jai looks up at the man at his door, dressed in scrubs before him, and giving him a questioning glance. He nods his head in agreement, grateful for this distraction, before replying....
Jai: Yeah, coming Mahesh. One moment....
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Bani remained to herself for the rest of the day, worrying her new family in the process. She did not partake in the conversations they struck with her nor broke out of her revive. She only stuck to Yash's side and no one else's. They concluded that it is the change of environment that is affecting her and that she is perhaps missing her family. She would eventually come around.
After giving Yash his bath and dressing him up for the night, she settled him into the covers with her on the bed when Krishna walked by the open bedroom, peeping curiously into it. Seeing her grandson in her son's room takes her by surprise and she walks in unannounced, startling Bani.
Krishna: Arre, Yash yahan kya khar raha? Woh to aapna nursery mein sota hai... to phir...?
Bani: (stammers) J-ji... woh.... I am used to having Yash sleep with me.... isliye.... and I will be right here with him by chance if he needs anything in the night....
Krishna: But---
Krishna begins to protest, wanting to voice her thoughts that she and Jai are newly wed and will want privacy, but concludes that that particular stage in their relationship will take some time. Unwillingly she nods her head, knowing that Bani will feel more at place with Yash with her and she wants Bani to feel comfortable with them as soon as possible. She smiles softly at Bani before kissing Yash and wishing her daughter-in-law a goodnight. After leaving her son and daughter-in-law's bedroom, she heaves a sigh and checks the grandfather clock in the hall, wondering when Jai will come home.....
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Jai arrived back past two in the morning and was surprised to find his awaiting mother up so late at night. He kissed her cheek before allowing her to take his briefcase and coat, setting them aside. He was, though, expecting the scolding he received moments later.....
Krishna: Jai, yeh koi waqt hai ghar aane ka?
Jai: Ma, I was stuck in surgery....
He gives his weak defense while walking to the kitchen and reaching into the fridge for a bottle of juice. Krishna follows promptly after him, still containing a scowl on her face.
Krishna: Mujhe kuch nahi sunna....You have just gotten married and already you fled to the hospital the very next morning. This is not right, beta. You should have been at home.... with your wife. To make her feel settled with us. That is your duty as a husband. You have a family, Jai. And that family comes before your work. You do not even know how I felt apologizing to Nishikant ji and Kiran ji for your absence. I was embarrassed that my own son was not even there to wish them off or at least stay at home the day after his marriage.
Jai closes the fridge door and faces to look at his mother, a dark look building on his handsome face. His restrained voice answers his mother's demanding words....
Jai: What do you wish for me to do? Behave as a dotting husband and good son-in-law? I am neither of those Mama nor do I wish to be....
He ends with a growl before storming out of the kitchen, leaving his mother in a bemused manner, trying to comprehend what her son has just said. Coming out of her brief shock with Jai's statement, she quickly goes after him, reaching him at the stairs....
Krishna: Jai, you-you are married now.... You have a wife and you must complete your responsibilities toward her....
Jai halts in his steps on hearing his mother's desperate voice call out for him and clutches his head as he feels a migraine coming along. He turns around to meet her pleading eyes, wanting him to understand her. But at the moment he doesn't wish to understand, he wants someone to understand him... understand what he wants... what he's going through.
Jai: That's just the thing Ma..... I never wanted to get re-married to begin with.....
He breezily states with a low tone. Thunderstruck, Krishna stares at her son for a long moment from sheer disbelief before stammering her next words...
Krishna: ... J-Jai... do you mean to say that.... That you won't give this marriage a chance?
Avoiding Krishna's pained gaze, Jai Walia silently proceeds on up the stairs abandoning a bewildered woman behind, pondering over whether she had made the right decision after all.....
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He slips into his dim room without making a sound and throws off his tie onto the chair nearby. His eyes briefly fall onto his bed, where his oblivious new bride slumbers peacefully under the heavy covers. He removes his gaze but then quickly returns it once he notices another figure nestled beside her. Drawing nearer, he approaches the bed and lowers down onto his knees as his still gray eyes sweep across Yash's peaceful face.....
For the first time since Yash's birth eight months ago, Jai Walia takes careful attention to the appearance of his son and is amazed by what he sees. He is quite the replica of his dead mother with the exception of his dark hair, taken after him. The long eyelashes.... the tiny ears.... the pointed nose.... those lean, thin lips... the jutted chin all strike a familiarity to him. He is his mother's son.... his Ananya's son.... a part of her is inside of this small child right before him.
Unconsciously his hand moves forward, reaching out to the boy's snoozing form... His large palm rests against Yash's soft cheek and an unfathomable feeling arrests him inside. This boy is his son. His own flesh and blood. His and his dead wife's.... He is the single living memory of his love for his first wife.
The fidgeting from his son startles him out of his revelation and he quickly removes his hand, watching with quiet eyes as Yash switches side, turning his face into his aunt's side and settling back down into a restful sleep. His observing eyes travel back up to Bani's serene face and he holds his breath at the sight both aunt and nephew make, giving an answer to his muddling thoughts that haunted him throughout the day.
There is only one good out of his marriage to his sister-in-law.... and that is providing his son the mother he direly needs.
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Not much, quite boring too. So I apologize for that. Will try to update soon, and I mean it this time. 😆 I am somewhat half-way done with the next update. 😊
And please do leave comments. You too silent readers. A word or two would really mean a lot to me. Edited by Indian_Goddess - 16 years ago
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