Hello again! I got the sudden urge to write this late last night and I'm quite proud of it. This is dedicated to all my reader who appricated my other ffs..' IRight now this is a TwoShot, maybe possibly more if I get enough reviews and suggestions and such. I really hope you all like it, please review and let me know!
Without You I'm IncompletePart 1:
Some people would say that dark clouds and a heavy downpour would indicate feelings of isolation and helplessness. Others would say it's a sign of emotional release where you can cleanse and refresh your body.
It wasn't quite clear to this girl which she was feeling, if she was feeling anything at all. Her smile had permanently disappeared. Her life was so beyond screwed up that she couldn't stand to live it. She just wanted to go crawl up into her Daddy's lap and cry her eyes out for hours on end while he continually rubbed his arm up and down her back while reassuring her that everything was going to be okay.
It wasn't though, everything had changed, and it was all for the worse.
She wasn't a little girl anymore; she was a young lady at the age of 20. She couldn't go crawling to Daddy for Daddy was no longer alive. She wasn't going to get any reassurance from anybody else either, because there was no one left to reassure her of anything. She had pushed them all away.
It was hard to put one foot in front of the other at this point. Her clothes were so heavy because of the rain that had soaked them. Armaan's basketball sweatshirt that she had stolen from him after he left it at her house months ago was weighing her down. There was no way that she would ever take it off though. In a small way, it made her feel like he was still with her.
Two weeks. Three days. Six hours. And quite a few minutes. That's when riddihma gupta told armaan malik goodbye. That's also when she made the biggest mistake of her life, but refused to admit that even to herself. She was scared and she pushed him away.
ridz had grown extremely close to armaan over the past two years. She had begun to trust him with her entire soul, and would always go to him whenever something went wrong. They grew the most beautiful friendship either one could have ever imagined. Everyone was jealous of the two of them.
Then at one point ridz's mother had to go away for a week to New York for her job, and ridz asked armaan to keep her company. She hated being alone and just wanted her best friend in the entire world to keep her safe. They found themselves deciding on sitting by the fire drinking hot chocolate and talking about everything that came to their minds. This was when armaan decided to take the next big step and confess every feeling he had bottled up inside of him.
Those feelings would include how every morning, she's the first thing he thinks of, and every night she's the last thing he thinks of. They would include how every time he hears her laugh, his knees go weak and he can't stop staring at her in complete admiration. They would include the fact that every night he can barely hold himself back from getting up and going over to her house, climbing up to her balcony, breaking into her room, and sneakily climbing into bed with her and holding her close to his body all night long. They would include the fact that every single time that he lays his eyes on her, all he wants to do is grab her face between his two hands and kiss her with all of the meaning and love in the world.
That night by the fireplace ridz couldn't stop crying at every single word that he spoke to her. It touched her heart completely to know that someone felt this much about her. Even better was that she could say she felt the same about him back.
From then on the two of them became even closer and started to fall deeply in love with one another. Eventually, ridz got scared. She started to dream about her Father's accident again and couldn't help the feeling's deep down in her stomach that the same thing could happen to armaan.
ridz loved her father with all of her heart; he was her rock. Every morning he would make her breakfast, and every night he would help cook dinner. She was his little angle, and together they could take on anything.
She wasn't prepared at all for her father's death. She had no time to say goodbye to her father, and she always feared that the same thing could happen again to anyone. She got her heart broken and it's never quite repaired itself.
When her feelings with armaan started to get deeper and deeper, she feared that the same thing would happen again. The only option that she saw was to let go of armaan and forget that she loved him. Fortunately and unfortunately, that was incredibly impossible. The entire collge reminded her of what she had lost every single day. Her friends had abandoned her after the day when she lashed out at them for hassling her about the whole armaan thing.
I tried to go on like I never knew youI'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete And here she was standing above her father's grave, praying for him to send her a sign that everything was going to be okay. She had been out here for a long time now. When she left her empty house it was 7:45, and that was a long time ago. It didn't matter though, it's not like anyone would be looking for her. Her mother was out of town, yet again.
It had started raining once ridz had started to walk to her father's cemetery. Of course she could have drove, but she needed time for herself to think. She just wanted to breathe and bask in some fresh air.
Her clothes were glued to her body, her hair was a big curly ball of mess and frizz, her make-up was running down her face, and her shoes felt like buckets filled with water. None of that mattered to her, she had dealt with worse.
None of this made sense to her. Was this the life that was really meant for her? Because if it was, then man did that suck. She hadn't smiled in days, and hadn't laughed in weeks. All of her happiness was gone, and she was the only one to blame for that.
The rain was coming down so hard that ridz could no longer hear herself think. All she could do was cry. Cry over being left behind, cry over her unfair life, cry over her fear of letting herself love someone, cry over not living every day to the fullest, cry over giving up the best thing that has ever happened to her, cry over how bad she just wanted her Daddy again. Cry, cry, and cry. She was absolutely hysterical.
"WHY ME?! What did I do that was so horrible? I just don't understand! Was it because I lied to my mother that one time when she asked me if I had stolen money from her wallet? Was it because I punched little Timmy in the stomach and then blamed it on his sister? Was it because I always wanted more than what I had? Or was it that I'm not good enough for happiness? Please tell me! I just want to know why you're so disappointed in me! What the hell did I f****** do wrong! ANSWER ME!!"
ridz was staring deeply up into the pitch black sky begging for someone up above to give her some answers. She was sick and tired of living such a miserable life. She was so sick of having everything go wrong. She just wanted to be happy again.
"The only thing that you did wrong was let me go."
Immediately, ridz dropped her head in defeat. He had found her and admitted what she had been too begrudging about to admit.
AN: So there it is. I can't tell you what's going to happen next. Let me know what your predictions are though! Tell me what you would love to see too and maybe I can do something about it ;) Thank you for reading, and please, please, please review!!
Anupamaa
Current Affairs
