Okay....sorry for keeping you waiting...heres the next part...
Contd.
Try as i might, i could NOT breath. I don't know what i said to her, i don't remember what i did after that. All i know and all i remember is that my heart was throbbing so painfully in my chest i thought it would burst open. Never before, never ever, had my heart beat so painfully. Each heartbeat seemed to take me a little away from her, the fear inside me was taking over everything, clouding my thoughts, engulfing my whole being. Then, i heard her say 'Armaan' in such a small, afraid voice. If ever God could give me the chance to die right at that moment in life, i would have taken that moment to do so. My whole being was so frozen, it was like i couldnt hear, see or do anything. All i knew was this one thought that kept repeating itself in my mind: i am going to lose her.
Then, i dont know where i got the strength from, after hearing her tell me that she accidentally put her hand on the bomb, i realized that she was even more scared than me. And that line came back to me, the one i had said to her thousand of times : I am always there for you!! Now was the time to be there for her. I gulped, and told her something about relaxing. Even though i didnt want to, i left her for a second and ran for my life. I got to Dr. Shubhankar, told him everything and we both came running back to the van. He told me to wait there while he called the bomb squad and stuff. I dont even know what he was doing, all i could see was Riddhima's scared eyes. And those tears. My biggest enemy.....! I went and sat inside the van. Her voice was loaded with fear of the unknown: i took her face in my hands and kept it there...told her to keep looking at me.
I dont know why, but a part of me didnt want her to look into my eyes. What if she looked and saw how scared i was, how difficult this was for me....how i couldn't keep thinking of the fact that i might lose her. Yet i kept telling her to look at me....making her believe that everything will be alright. That i will be, always, there for her. I told her that...i told her i would never let anything happen to her...i knew that wouldnt take away all of the fear, but she trusted me so much, that i knew those words would at least soothe her feelings.
Then she said something that made my heart clench. That made me realize, this is why i love her. That moment defined Riddhima Gupta, my girl, for me. She told me to go: Armaan tum please yahan se chalay jao...tumhain bi kuch ho gaya to?? She cared more for me even then, when she could die in a matter of few seconds. She wanted me to be safe, wanted me to be anywhere but there. But how could i leave. The one person i loved the most in the world, whom i could proudly say was only mine.....she was that person. She is everything to me, she is my lifeline, the reason i want to live. She is in every part of me, in my soul, in every breath of mine, in every heartbeat. She is me. I could not just leave.
I dont remember distinctly what happened after that, how long we stayed there. All i remember is me holding her hand tightly and both of us waiting for the inevitable. Soon the police and the bomb squad was there. They said some stuff about the bomb being indiffusable or something...saying that if Riddhima moved her hand even a single bit, it would blow off.
Thats when i noticed something. The hand which was lying on the bomb, was the same hand she was wearing the 'kada' on. Our 'kada'. The one i had given to her, the symbol of our love. I dont know why, but that gave me a little bit of hope. Stupid as it may sound, i thought that as long as the kada was with her, nothing could happen to her. It was like God's blessing on us.
Then, the police officer said something foolish about me leaving the place. I looked at her as if he was dumb, telling him that i couldnt leave. Thats when she intervened, telling me to leave too. What were these people syaing....how could i leave her like that? This is the time she needs me the most in life!!! The police officer, after listening to my pleadings, just dragged me away from there.
I kept looking back at her and i dont know from where i got the force. All i saw as i turned back was the distance increasing between us. I couldnt let that happen, not for the world, not for a single second. So i grabbed myself free from the officer's hold, turned back, snatched a pair of handcuffs from the constable and ran back to the van.
They ran after me, but i was quicker. At that moment, all i could think was that i had to get there, to the van, asap. I ran to it, sat down next to her, and put the handcuff on both our hands. Now, even if they wanted to separate us, they couldn't.I wouldnt leave her, not now, not tomorrow, not any other day of my life. She kept asking me: Armaan yeh tum kia kar rahay ho...?? And thats when i told ehr...maine kaha tha na, main tumhain chor ker kabhi nahi jaunga...
I think somewhere deep down she herself knew it too, that i wouldn't leave her. That i would come back, no matter what. I just held her face close to mine, our foreheads touching, both of us now crying with the fear of losing each other and from the fear of the unknown: death. Those 58 seconds were the longest in my life ever. I shut my eyes and just held her close to me. The last thoughts running in my mind were that if i had to die this way, at least i had had the chance to love her. She was with me, i had her close to me. Thats all i wanted at that moment.
As we both heard the beep of the bomb, i thought we'd blast into pieces at that moment. However, what followed instead of the blast was the bomb squad telling us the bomb had been diffused. Thinking i was hallucinating or i had heard wrong, i opened my eyes slightly with a slight smile on my face. Sure enough, we were still alive, she was still sitting there, tears pouring out of her eyes. She pulled back her hand from the bomb as soon as she could, and i took hold of it and kissed it as many times as i could. That hand had been, in those few moments of my life, the most important thing for me, ever. She fell into my arms and i hugged her to myself, both of us crying with relief.
Well, all i know now is that that day, was one of the most horrible ones in my life. However, if God forbids, i am put in the ssame situation again, i would do everything the same way i did that day. Crazy i might sound to some, but then, they might not have experienced love as i have. They might not have loved someone as much as i have. She is everything i have ever wanted, and i can give up anything, absolutely anything in the world, to have her safe and protected in my arms forever. So that day still gives me the creeps now, the day i almost lost her. The day i almost lost my girl, Riddhima.
Armaan.
That's it guys. So hope u guys liked it. Sorry for the delay. and THANKS A LOT ALL OF U....who commented....means a lot!!
Loads of love
Kiran
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
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