Something different ..... some humorous quotes of Groucho Marx, American Comedian
1. A five-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a five-year-old child.
2. A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
3. Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
4. Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
5. Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
6. Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
7. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
8. Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
9. How do you feel about women's rights ? I like either side of them.
10. I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I'd rather dance with the cows till you came home.
11. I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.
12. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
13. I sent the club a wire stating, Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member. (Groucho and Me)
14. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
15. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
16. Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!
17. If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.
18. I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it
19 Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Edited by Jatayu - 19 years ago