Funeral Of Puraana Bigg Boss

As you all know, the puraana Bigg Boss died due to a shock and the shock is watching a haathi and hippopotamaus mating. A funeral was held yesterday in his honour as the best Bigg Boss ever. So all the housemates were invited and since I was the script-writer for them, I was invited too.

It all started with the Bigg Boss housemates getting the funeral invite through the mailbox. Manda was the first to open the mailbox. She took out the letter and read aloud,"Inwitasion to Biggi Bossu Phuneeral." Actress Kalpi shouted,"Eye Manda.. What are u reading ?? Some kind of magic ??" Mandas said,"Nahi Nautanki Saali.. Some inwitasion." Kalpi thought,"And I was here thinking only the kaamwaali had a very great pronounciation on English.. Am all surrounded by some idiots.." Kalpi snatched the invite from Manda's hands and both started fighting for the invite. Bigg Boss voice came.

All assemble in the living area. As usual, half of them were on the floor with Meesha Uncle occupying half of the couch and Kamla literally molesting Sahil by sitting on his lap and Sahil looked constipated.

There was a hush and rush among the housemates as all of them began to get ready.. There was a fight for the bathroom and the toilet and Meesha Uncle ended up pushing everyone down and locking himself into the bathroom. People sat in a queue outside the toilet and bathroom since both were occupied by Kamla and Meesha Uncle..

Neetu snorted,"Occupied by a bulldozer and a hippopotamaus.." Sahil grew angry and said,"Neetu, keep ur mouth under check. Kamla is not a hippopotamaus." Kalpi said silently,"Yes. She is wht people call two bulls and an ox put together.." Raghav who had heard this started laughing silently. Kalpi pinched him and said,"Dnt laugh Raghav. He'll hear us and I'll be in trouble." Raghav grew uncomfortable again by her close proximity and said,"I will if u promise to give me a kiss." Kalpi asked,"What ??" Raghav said,"Yes. If u want this as a secret, then u will have to give me a kiss." Kalpi said,"FINE !!! Bt not here." Raghav said,"Anywhere Baby..." Meesha Uncle and Kamla came out of the respective rooms and there was a rush again. Atlast, everyone got ready. Kalpi was drying her hair with a towel. Raghav came there and watched her as she dried her hair. He went towards her until both were in close proximity. Kalpi's eyes widened and she became nervous. She closed he eyes and Raghav came even closer to her neck. He whispered,"You remember our deal !! I want my deal done now.." His voice was so husky that Kalpi almost fainted. He held Kalpi by the shoulders and turned her around such that she was facing him now. She had her head bent. Raghav lifeted her head up by the chin and she blushed. Raghav said huskily,"Come on Kalpi. I want my deal fulfilled now." Kalpi smiled as she blushed and kissed him quickly on the lips and went away leaving Raghav to smile like a fool..

Unknown to them, Prem was watching them from afar. He grew jealous at the sight of Kalpi kissing Raghav. He decided that he wanted Kalpi at any cost and that Kalpi was his 😆 There was a huge mess in the bedroom too.. Kamla was adamant that she wanted an entire makeover. Kalpi said,"Kaamwaali.. We are going to a funeral, not some wedding or fashion show." Kamla said,"Nautanki Saali.. U are just jealous that I get to have a makeover and u dnt. And anyways, my fans will be there waiting to see me.." Kalpi snorted,"Yeah yeah.. All Uncles will be there." Atlast, everone were ready. Meesha Uncle dropped his pin to the ground. He bent down to pick it up while Kalpi, Manda, Neetu and Pakhi shouted,"NO !!!!" But it was too late. He bent down and BRRR !!! went the sound. His tight pants had once again given away. The ladies closed their eyes as his teddy bear printed underwear was full in view. Meesha Uncle covered his back and ran out squealing. He managed to stich his pant and came to the garden whr everyone were standing beside the door..

The door opened and out they went to the main stage where PD was waiting clapping for them. She welcomed everyone,'Welcome to the audience and the wonderful contestants. We have assembled here to take part in the funeral of the puraana Bigg Boss who had been here for tha past eight season and nothing that happened in the past eight seasons had brought him instant death. But in this new season EMA And Bigg Boss has done something. The controversy had not yet started and still something had happened that brought out wonderful Bigg Boss instant death. Let us join in the funeral procession." The procession started and the contestants were asked to sing a funeral song. They had all discussed in the morning as to what song to sing. They started singing,"Hum Honge Kaamyaab. Hum Honge Kaamyaab. Hum Honge Kaamyaab Ek Din Me.." PD had her eyes squinted at this and the priest that had come to take the funeral procession stared at them dumbfolded. He asked,"What are you singing ?" Kalpi said,"Funeral song.During the Revolution by the blacks, one of them died and the other blacks sang this song only. That's why we are singing this.." The priest faijted at that moment with a THUD on the floor. The sudience started laughing. Kamla thought they were cheering at her and so she stepped forward in her black, tight-fitted one piece that came until her knees and full makeup. She does her signature Babydoll move and shakes her hips while shooting kisses at the audience. All the uncles were wolf-whistling at her while the youngsters and the other contestants waited for the earthquake to stop. Kalpi went towards Kamla and said,"Abe Kaamlwaali !!! Ye dance bandh kar aur chup chaap aa jaa." Kamla asked,"U are just too jealous.." Kalpi lost hope and said,"Yes am jealous. Abchale.' Kamla smirked and said,"Ok.. I know u are jeealous oph me. Dnt bowrry. I bhil gib u tipas how to be chekchy (sexy)" Kamla went first and Kalpi rolled her eyes and cursed her in her mind.

The funeral got over and the coffin was taken away. PD who had just now recovered from her shock smiled at the contestants. She spotted Pakhi and said,"Wow Miss. Politician. u certainly look stunning." Pakhi smiled and said,"Thanku PD." She was wearing a one piece that came just above her thighs and had a thin strap at the shoulders. PD continued,"Ok audience. Now let's get crazy and ask them as to how their stay was." She asked,"How was ur stay, people ?" First Kamla came forward,"At the beginning, I thought that I would be just a piece of eye-candy bt then its totally different. I found people of different cultures and family backgrounds. I met my true love (looking at Sahil) and then (looking at the audience) am sorry boys.. I know u guys are crazy abt me bt am taken." All the uncles dabbed their eyes with their kerchiefs and the youngsters smiled widely. Sahil stood dumbfolded,"TRUE LOVE !!! Did Kamla mention him as her true love ??? He fainted on the spot." Kamla rushed towards him and hugged him to her breasts. She asked,"Sahil, all u alrite ??" Sahil answered,"I am and will be if am always like this with you." Kamla blushed. PD said,"Ok.. Looks like we are getting a bit sick here. I request the contestants to go back to the house as a big twist is waiting for them there." All the contestants went back to the house and started their daily chores. There was loud music all of a sudden. The contestants wondered as to what was going on. The went to the garden area and saw four jeeps. The jeeps turned and drove around the garden area and finally came to a halt. Four people got down from the jeep. They had their faces covered with black cloth. They surrounded each of the contestants and then went to the bedroom. They throw the bags they brought with them on the beds and then signed to the contestants as to this was their bed. The first person removed the cloth and LO !!! It was a girl. She had long black hair and she was tall.. Raghav shouted,"Maya !!!! Maya turned towards Raghav and smiled,"Raghav !!" Both hugged each other. Kalpi had to accept that she felt a tinge of jealousy towards them. The second person took off his black cloth and it was a guy. He had thick hair, black eyes and a muscular build. Raghav shouted,"Sammy !!" Sammy exclaimed,"Raghav, my brother !!" Both hugged each other and Maya joined the hug too.. Prem said,"If ur heterosexual love is over, can we move to the next ??" The trio broke their hug..

The next person opened his cloth and Kamla got the shock of her life.. She exclaimed,"Vitthal !!" Vitthal smiled and said,"Kamla !!" Sahil asked,"Kamla.. Do u know him ??" Kamla nodded,"Yes. I do. He is my ex-husband." All looked shocked at her and Vitthal. Kalpi thought,"Poor guy !! Dnt know how he lived with this Kaamwaali until the divorce happened." Manda asked,"How did the divorce happen ?" Kamla said,"We dnt know. We just wanteddivorce when we knew we couldn't be happy with each other and.." Neetu said,"Ok. Stop it. We have one more guy waiting. So stop ur kathacharitra and let's move on." The last person who was waiting to open his cloth, opened it and it was a guy. He had grey eyes, spiked hair and a very handsome face. None of them recongnized him. He smiled at them and said,"Hi everyone.. I am Shaad.."

Manda had a doubt.. She asked,"Bigg Boss. Aapne bataaya ki ye lod Wild-Card hai.. Tho kya ye wild honge ??" Neetu groaned from beside. Pakhya looked at the sky asking God as to why did he make him a specimen like Manda while the others simply turned their faces to the side.

The wild-cards turned and smiled at the contestants..

Atiaa.. Ki kahani... ka character. ..

Nice one...

Lol... RagNa kissed.. no half kisss... she kissed him and ran away... lol... tinge of jealousy...

No.. Shaad from Qubool Hai.. Brought him in.. Well.. Bigg Boss is a house of drama and controversies. So people who can spice up the show are brought in.. And u were asking abt Sammy.. Well, here he is 😃

Ok... I don't know who is Shaad?? But hey ok.. am sure he is gonna rock.. and spice up...

You.. when would you be entering BB??

I wanna see more on love story of Pakhi and PD..

Bhagwan bigg boss ki atma ko shanti de

RagNa's half kiss Maya Sammy vitthal and shad's entry is Awsm 😊

😕 Am the script writer. I cnt be there. If I am there, then who will write ?? 😛

😃 Aaj Bigg Boss ki ghar me chutti 😛 so next update will be kal.. And Shaad is definitely gonna spice up things 😉

Waiting to read this spicy shardh😆