AWTBL-Someday!Chp12(A). pg75. Jan28. - Page 43

Kalpi sat under the guava tree nibbling on a rather unripe therefore hard to bite guava. It had a rather sharp, acidic dry taste to it but she least seemed to notice it. Her teeth were persistently nibbling at it inspite of barely able to get any flesh off the fruit. Her vacant eyes were fixed far off someplace in the space without registering anything particular. It had been almost an hour she was sitting there alone. Not many would call Kalpi lucky but it was lucky of her to get some lone time away from her constantly dogged chores. So at this point one has to call her lucky to be able to be by herself, finally after five grueling months. Five months had passed since the fateful Holi celebrations.

The memories of those few days as fresh in Kalpi's mind as if it was just a few hours past.

But it has been five months and in these five months she had pushed away any thoughts of those days. But today she sat by herself thinking about him, the events that lead to the crushing of her tender heart by no one but herself to blame. Or was it?

Five months had passed by. Five months since he had left for London. And five months since those eyes had haunted her. She is so afraid to even take his name in her thoughts let alone whisper it lest her heart stopped to beat. She had been the sole witness to see the disdain in his eyes for her and it had shaken her to the very bones. But she bore it at the time because what other option was left for her.

But now here she was alone and her thoughts had crawled back to haunt her.

Kalpi was also not sure whether she was more relived or saddened by Paakhi's absence. Is there any comparison or point of contention for these two clashing emotions? She wondered. Paakhi had not left Kalpi alone for a single breathing second other than when she had to help her own family. Her presence was a much needed relief and a source of constant entertainment in Kalpi's otherwise mundane life. But yesterday she had left for London for her further studies. Paakhi wanted Kalpi to come with her too. "You know Kalpi if I tell daddy once he will never refuse me", she had gleamed at Kalpi. But Kalpi knew how to face her reality. She had smiled at Paakhi who had already bounce to the other corner of the designer boutique to admire herself in a new dress.

No, Kalpi did not want to go to London. Not now. Not ever. Not just because he was there and she would not be able to accept this war that kept waging every time she thought of him. But also because she loved her father and brother who completely depended on her for every little thing. And her mother who needed her too in spite of all her hardheadedness.

Her father's health was a constant worry for the whole household. Each time it seemed he was getting better and could actively help with the shop he seemed to slip back to his previous condition. Keshav was also getting more attached to Kalpi with each passing day. And she was glad to have a family who made her feel needed and wanted.

And once again there it was again, the want, the need, the torturing thoughts. Could she forget the time of the picnic. As much as she tried to run from its memory, it kept coming back at the most inappropriate times. Often they were triggered by the simplest of things like when she pierced a broken glass in the office and her brother came running to help her bandage it. Or when her mother asked her to help her serve tea to her father. Even the time she went to Delhi with Paakhi for one of her numerous shopping for London' trip. But the times that were most difficult were when she sat and listened to Paakhi and him video chat.

Kalpi had made Paakhi promise not to pull her into the video chats and for once she had complied.

Still holding on to the Guava, Kalpi sternly shook her head and vowed to herself that she will never utter a single word to Paakhi. That Holi would forever stay buried in her heart.

Coming up The Holi flashback

to be continued...