VirMan SS |Together Forever | Part 10 UPDTED Pg 16 - Page 5

Part IV : Fears Unleashed

Viraat put his head on her shoulders and sighed, unable to decide.

'What should I do now?' he thought. He was in a dilemma, the biggest one he'd faced in his entire life. What does a guy do in a situation like this? What if the woman you've prayed for with all your heart is right in front of you, ready to shed her inhibitions and give up herself to you, and you don't want to make a move because you're afraid to take a risk and hurt her? Would desire overpower care? Can lust ever be stronger than true love? He was battling with the new-found lover and the best friend in him. The lover that wanted to be merciless and make the most of what he held in his hands and the best friend, who wanted nothing more than for her to be safe and healthy.

Maanvi felt the reluctance in him. She was shocked at why Viraat became so low all of a sudden. 'What happened? What's wrong with him?' she wondered. She pulled away from his grasp and looked at him. For once, he didn't pull her back. He let her go. Even though she looked up at him, he wasn't looking at her. He was staring at the ground below.

"I'm sorry Maanvi. I can't do this. I'm sorry." He turned away.

"Why not?" she whispered, stung by the sudden realization that maybe Viraat didn't want her enough.

"It's not worth it. We should go home. I'll arrange for a cab so you don't get drenched."

It wasn't worth it? What did that mean? Was it because she was ill? Was it because he knew she wouldn't be able to give him the best? Was it because she couldn't stand up to his expectations on account of being so frail?

Her eyes filled with tears, and the water drops running down her ice-cold face suddenly felt very hot. Not once had she ever felt that the curse of cancer would affect her in this way. She knew that she might die. She had accepted it. That she wouldn't be able to have a future with her Viraat? She had accepted that too. That she wouldn't ever be able to bear his children and have a happy family life with Viraat? She had accepted that too. But for Viraat to reject her? for him to turn away from her because it wasn't worth it?was too much too bear. She sobbed uncontrollably, and fell down on her knees, unable to stand on her feet anymore.

Viraat turned, stunned by what he saw. He rushed to her side and went down on his knees.

'What happened Maanvi? What's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?"

She said nothing but continued crying. He was freaking out. What is wrong with her?

"Maanvi, baby please tell me what's wrong. Stop crying Maanvi. Please stop crying. What's wrong? Tell me. Please."

She tried to push him away, but as usual, his hold was just too strong. She struggled with him in vain.

"Maanvi, I know this is upsetting. But I'm sorry. I cannot do this to you. Please don't cry."

This was exactly what she didn't want to hear. She wanted him to deny the fact that he didn't want her. She wanted to be comforted and consoled, but here he was, blandly stating the truth. She said, "I know. It's ok. I understand. You don't want me because you know I'm incapable of giving you the best. And I'm sorry for that."

Viraat made a face, confused. "What are you talking about? You think I don't want you?" He let out a mirthless laugh. "You think I DON'T WANT YOU? Baby, I know you're crazy, but really! This kind of absurdity is out of your league!"

She stared at him, baffled. "But you said it wasn't worth it."

He gaped at her, suddenly understanding the erroneous conclusion she had reached.

"Maanvi, my dear stupid, oversensitive, crazy wife, how could you possibly think I wouldn't want you? I've been waiting for this moment for so long, ever since I first realized I loved you. From the time I spent waiting for you to accept my love, I've been dying every day; waiting to hold you in my arms, to kiss you, to touch you... to make you mine in every way possible. I love you Maanvi. There's nothing more I'd love to do than to show you how hopelessly I'm in love with you, right here, right now.

In between sobs, she asked, "Then why don't you?"

"When I said it wasn't worth it, I meant it wasn't worth hurting you. I'm scared Maanvi. You're so delicate right now, I'm afraid to hurt you. Your body is fighting cancer, and I don't want to exhaust you. I don't want to complicate things for you. I want it to be easy for you. I want to lay you on a bed of roses, not make you walk across thorns. I love you way too much to hurt you like that. I want everything to be perfect. And I'm ready to wait for that." He smiled at her and ran his hands through her hair.

She couldn't believe her ears. So that's what this was about? Her health? How could any man on earth love another woman so much? How could he be so damn selfless? Was he even human? Doesn't he think about himself, ever? What I want, what I need is all he thinks about. This isn't right. I can't let him be so noble. She felt the pain with which he told her he was ready to wait. She knew this wasn't what was in his heart; she knew he was saying this only to comfort her; to make her feel better. And all of a sudden, the need to be reassured vanished - replaced by the desire to comfort him.

"Viraat, I love you. But love isn't what we think it is; it doesn't make all things ideal-it ruins everything. The perfect plan we devised for the future - all finished. It breaks your heart sometimes. It makes thing messier sometimes. But we aren't here to make things perfect. The snowflakes are perfect. The stars are perfect. Not us. Not us! We're made, just to be with one another, not to make everything else perfect. I know I've made you cry and I've made you smile; I've given you tension, I've made you roar with laughter."

"I know I've given you the worst pain in the world, and I know how hard it is for you to keep up that smile when you're burning inside. I know how painful it for you to wake up every day knowing that there's a chance you might never see me alive again, but hoping nonetheless. Smiling, hoping and praying, putting on a brave face so that no-one can see what's underneath you? For how long? I want you to let it out, Viraat. I want you to stop being so damn perfect all the time! For once, instead of saying words to soothe my heart, I need you to tell me what's in your heart. I may not be able to make it go away, but Viraat, you need to unburden yourself, before you burst." Her eyes begged him to comply.

He looked at her, dazed by the ease with which she understood him. There wasn't anything in him that could be hidden from her. So it was true. They were truly made for each other.

He looked away as he said, "Maanvi, before I knew you, I thought I'd already seen the best and worst of life. I'd lived so called 'best phase', with the glamour and the glitz. I thought being a rockstar was the best thing that could happen to me, and the times I spent with Maaya were the high point of my happiness. After she dumped me, and I crashed back to reality, I lived the so-called 'worst phase' too. Depressed and lonely, I thought I'd lived life enough. That if I were to die tomorrow, I really wouldn't care; because I'd already lived my life. I'd seen the roses and I'd seen the thorns."

He paused and then looked into her eyes. "But that was before I met you. You brought along with you the kind of light I didn't want to see. The vivid, never-ending, pure and untainted light that I was afraid to face, because I thought I'd burn in such intense brightness. But your light dazzled me and I realized that maybe red roses weren't all that were beautiful - maybe white roses had a better charm."

She blushed and looked away.

"Maanvi, you took me to a place where I wasn't afraid to be who I was - the arrogant, rich spoilt brat that I am; where I was happy being who I am. You brought me under the kind of glow that enlightened me and opened my eyes I had shut in fear long ago. Your light showed me my purpose in life. It brought seasons of true friendship, of the kind of genuine never-ending love I thought existed only in fairytales. And before I knew it, I got hooked to your radiance, and I fell in love with it.

"And now, I'm too addicted to it to let it go. I'm afraid I will never be able to find my purpose after you leave my life. I'm so used to being around you, I really cannot think of second without you. You are my sunshine, my only light. And I'm afraid I won't be able to find my way in the dark anymore."

She wiped away the last of his tears and held his face in her hands. "Feel better?" He nodded.

Maanvi smiled and whispered, "And what if I guaranteed you that your light wouldn't fade? What if I assured you that I would fight the darkness in my life with every ounce of energy left in me? What if I told you I was strong enough to fight Death? What would you do then?"

"Is that possible? Will you promise me you'll never leave me? Not now, not ever?"

"I promise."

He smiled as he touched the edge of her mouth with his fingers and started drawing on it, as if it were something his hands could sketch on. He wasn't an artist; he just started drawing on impulse. Maanvi looked up at him, and he stared at her. They looked closer and closer into each other's eyes, and their eyes got larger and larger with each passing second. They seemed to come closer and merge into one. Their bodies became united, seeming to blend in with each passing breath.

He brought his lips to hers, struggling to keep up with the sudden warmth that had spread through their bodies. Barely holding their tongues on their teeth, they played in corners, occasionally parting their lips to breathe in the warm, heavy air that clouded the room. Viraat snaked his arms around her waist while he kissed her. It was as if her mouth was filled with fresh, fragrant flowers - he just couldn't get enough of the fragrance. When he bit her, the pain felt sweet and she moaned. The feeling felt so breath-taking that if they suffocated each other in a brief and terrible sucking in together of their breaths, even that momentary death would be beautiful.

Maanvi was in a total daze and all she cared right then was how good it felt kissing Viraat.

Still kissing her, Viraat picked up his little wife in his arms and carried her to one of the beds that were scattered in the room. He placed her lightly on the mattress. For a second, he pulled his lips off hers, to check if he had placed her safely, whether she was in any way uncomfortable. Maanvi was in no mood to be patient and she pulled her husband by his hairs and brought his lips back on hers. Viraat obliged obediently.

"I - Love - You" panted Viraat, through the hard kissing and touching. Maanvi slipped off his shirt and started slowly running her hand over his broad, rock-solid shoulders. Viraat pulled off the kurti she was wearing in one breath and started kissing Maanvi's jaw line and he was leaning over her as he did so. He moved from her throat, down to her collar, and then moved downwards. He touched her body gently and softly, kissing her passionately and strongly, as if he was sealing his love into her body with every touch, with every kiss. Maanvi smiled when Viraat gently kissed her stomach. Viraat then climbed on top of Maanvi and turned her head to the side, slowly licking her neck. Maanvi moaned and smiled...

VIRMAN OS: TOGETHER FOREVER

Part V: Death Calling (PRECAP)

He had never paid heed to destiny. He knew destiny could be modified. He knew fates could change. For a while, he had been obsessed with changing the course of destiny. And now that he had changed destiny, he thought there was nothing that could stop him. He had been so preoccupied with the notion that death was out to take Maanvi away from him that he never considered the idea that maybe Death might take him away from Maanvi. As the blinding light closed in, all he could think of was "God, I guess you've fulfilled your goal. You finally managed to separate Maanvi and I. Thank you for not choosing to sacrifice her in this mission of yours."