Hola peeps, back from Puri, had a great time with family! Hope you all had a good time too.
This chapter is for Shaggy8. Thank you for making me happy with your comments!
Now it's time to have a blasted chapter! Suman solid bajane wali hai Shravan ki! But how.. You all see!
This will be from Shravan's POV.
Chapter 15
"You...don't...want me?" The shock was clear in her flat tone.
"No," I replied, though she had mistranslated my words.
Sumo stared at my face, dumbfounded. I stood there, as hard as a block of ice, fighting the powerful urge to take it all back"to pull her into my arms and tell her it was all a lie.
"Well, that changes things," Sumo finally said.
It was clear in her voice and in her eyes that she believed the lie. It was impossible, but she did, and that moment hurt more than all the rest. The many times I had told her of my love and shown her the depth of it"in her mind, it was all wiped away in an instant.
I could no longer meet her eyes. I was sure to give myself away. So I focused on the window behind her as I filled out the lie with details, things she could grab onto if she began to doubt my story later.
"Don't." Her voice had dropped to a searing whisper that burned in my ears. "Don't do this."
My eyes touched her face and stuck there. I would never forget the way it looked just then, as she begged me not to hurt her. I wanted to scream, to run away, to insist it wasn't true, but instead I told the vilest lie of them all.
"See maine kaha tha na tum nahin kar paogi! "
"If...that's what you want." Her face was blank.
I could not say the word, so I forced my head to nod. She had bought it. It was done.
"Good! Then we are done! Tum please kal se mat aana! Aur haan.. Main maa papa se baat karloonga. Okay... Then good bye.. " For the last time I wanted to touch her! I went for a hand shake! What more could I demand!
I could see she was shivering! It was a full blown shock for her, But I had to do this! She needed to understand this! I couldn't make her stuck in my life. I couldn't...I didn't know, how would I make it when she would leave me.. .But I had to go through this hell!
She turned...and held the handle of the door! She was thinking something! But I couldn't let her stand like this. "Close the door before you leave Suman! "
She banged the door with her fist! For a moment I thought she had hurt her hand, but she looked at me, with fire in her eyes, she came straight to me and said...
"This is what you want haan, me leaving you..."
"Yes this is what I want! "
"Meri taraf dekh ke kaho... Ghar ke khidki darwazon ko dekh kar nahin! "
"Yes this is what I want! I don't want you in my life!" I tried to be angry this time. But half of my conscience was yelling at me, trying to tell me that I was wrong, that I should be selfish!
"Fine.. .to fir ek jawab chahiye mujhe! Ussdin jab maine tumse kaha tha ki mujhe iss relationship mein nahin rehena hai.. To tumne suicide ki dhamki kyun diya tha? " she paused for a whole second, "yaa to fir woh natak tha ya fir yeh natak hai! "
"Woh situation alag thi, yeh situation alag hai! Tum oos waqt mujhse shaadi nahin karna chahti thi! "
"To.. .problem yeh hai.. .Shaadi... " she paused again and looked towards her feet. "Thik hai... Main tumse shaadi nahin karungi! " Suddenly she looked at me, and said, "main kisi aur se shaadi karungi! Tum sahi the... Tum mujhe de hi kya sakte ho! Thik se chal jo nahin paate, physically unfit jo ho! Hmmm tum sahi ho, kisi aur se shaadi karun to kam se kam woh mujhe protect kar payega, mujhse pyaar kar payega... I mean literally. ...you are getting it right! Tum kiss ke ilawa to kuch kar nahin paoge right! "
"Sumooo.. " I couldn't take that more!
"It's Suman for you... Abhi Sumo kyun! "
"Tum aise... ." I fumbled!
"Kyun tum ne kya socha... Tum mujhe chod doge to kya main bistar pe let kay roungi! I am sorry Mr. Shravan Malhotra, then you don't know me at all! Main shaadi bhi karungi, kisi aur se pyaar bhi karungi, mere bachche bhi honge, aur main khush bhi rahungi! "
She with someone else! Her love, her body, her kids, everything that would be related to her. ...wouldn't be for me! My heart broke into million pieces in my chest! I felt hollow and the pain that was building in my body hearing those things was unbearable!
"Kya hua Shravan bolo kuch..." She folded her hands around her chest, as if she was trying to hold herself!
"Of course tum shaadi karoge... Kisi aur se! Mujhe isse kya problem hogi! I'll be happy... Very happy! "
"Lag to nahin raha! "
"Suman please.. .jao yahanse... "
"Nahin... Mujhe mere sawalon ke jawab chahiye... Tumhe koi fark nahin padega agar main kisi aur se shaadi karoon?" She took a step closer to me... "Tumhe koi fark nahin padta ki koi aur mujhe chuein..." She took another step towards me... "Tumhe fark nahin padta Shravan... Sach mein? " She was too close to me...
"Sumo.. ." I felt the urge to bury myself in the earth until my end caught up with me.
"I got my answer Shravan.. .I will never bother you again! Be happy! Bye... " she turned in slow motion, still wanting me to stop her!
I looked at her retreating back, again I felt an unendurable pain in my chest, as if someone was taking my heart out of my body, and I couldn't do anything! I tried to stop her but fell on the ground on my knees, hid my face in my palms!
A loud thud.
My Suman, lying on the floor, unconscious!
"Sumooo.. .." I panicked..
I took her in my arms, and patted on her cheeks! "Sumo ankhen kholo please... Oh my god...Sumooo.. ."
Somehow I manage to pull her up in my arms and took her towards my bed!
"Pushkar jaldi mere room mein aa! " I rang him.
Sumo slept for the rest of the night, giving me time to consider many things, particularly those pertaining to the future. During those hours, I drew one conclusion: I would never leave Sumo.
Around ten o'clock, Sumo called out something unintelligible in her sleep. She was clearly agitated.
"Shravan.. ..don't go please. ..stay... "
I snuggled into her and whispered into her ear, "I will my love, I will stay.. ."
It was after midnight when Sumo began to stir. For an hour, she mumbled a lot, sometimes sighing contentedly and other times becoming agitated, her feet kicking and her arms flailing like she was trying to fight off something. I hoped to heaven that it wasn't me. Perhaps she had a fever. I placed my hand across her forehead as gently as possible. Her eyelids scrunched closed and then suddenly flipped open.
"Oh!" she cried and immediately hid her eyes behind her fists, rubbing them like she could make my image disappear.
"Did I frighten you?" I asked softly, concerned that she didn't expect, or maybe even want, me there with her.
Sumo's eyes popped open again, then slammed shut, and she gasped in surprise. Her eyes opened once more. She blinked and looked at me and blinked again, and then her face melted into a portrait of disappointment.
"What am I doing here... " she asked looking at my room.
"You fainted! Aurora uncle came and gave you sedative, said you are in so much stress, that it could have been a nervous breakdown! " I shivered!
"It's almost becoming a pattern! " she chuckled!
"What.. "
"I mean me falling into unconsciousness, and then sleeping in your bed..."
"Maa said that too..." I smiled.
Suddenly she was rigid, she looked at me, "You broke up with me... I should go from here... " she tried to sit...
"Sumo no.. ..please... "
"What... You said that you don't want me.. ..you said, you don't love me enough, to marry me! " she shook her head, closing her eyes, trying to get rid of angry tears, that was welling up in her eyes!
"When I was telling you goodbye", I began. "You weren't going to let go. I could see that." My voice was a whisper, soft and intense. "I didn't want to do it"it felt like it would kill me to do it"but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I didn't want you to stuck with my incapabilities Sumo! " I sighed heavily!
"Shravan.. ." she cried.. .
"Sumo please let me talk...please... ." I wiped away her tears, "But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth
for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head..."
She looked at me with those chocolate brown eyes,
"But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me? I could see it in your eyes, that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore. The most absurd, ridiculous concept as if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"
She shook her head in disbelief, tears flowing like raindrops down her cheeks.
"Sumooo please don't cry like this.. .please.. .."
"Shravan do you have faintest idea what I went through since last couple of weeks! You ignoring me...not looking at me with those love filled eyes, and then today telling me that you don't want me...I would have died Shravan! I have never loved anyone else in my life this much, except for my parents, they left me, and I couldn't do anything, and now you were about to leave me...how could you.. .your stupid insecurities, you knew right, I never thought of you like that! I loved you the way you are! I don't need anything... I don't care that we can't make love as soon as we get married! That aspect of life can wait Shravan..." she sobbed!
"I am so sorry Sumo, I am so sorry, at the end of the day, I am a man, I ought to think like one! " I sighed! "But now I understood I can't live without you.. I... "
"No Shravan, tum phirse yehi sab karoge, tumhari insecurities humein sath mein nahin rehene degi! I think we should take time, and think! I can't bear this pain anymore! "
"I'll prove you're wrong " I vowed, taking her face between my hands. She tried to shake me off, but I wouldn't let go. I moved my face closer to hers, so close that I could feel the warmth radiating from her lips.
"Please don't," she whispered at the last second, the pain in her words a lance through my heart.
"Why not?" I objected. I wanted to kiss her...so badly.
"No Shravan, I am not a doll, you can play with when you want... No.. ..don't do this to me! "
What had I done! I had damaged Sumo's strength, her trust... I remembered once she said use bhagna nahin aata! But now she was!
"Sumo.. .tumne kaha tha ki tumhe vaagna nahin aata..aur ab tum hi... " something flickered in me... "Sumoo... don't try to spare my feelings, please just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?" I whispered, not daring to hope.
Of course she tried to dodge the inquiry.
"What kind of an idiotic question is that?"
"Just answer it. Please."
"The way I feel about you will never change," she declared. "Of course I love you"and there's nothing you can do about it!"
"That's all I needed to hear," I whispered before taking her face in my hands and pressing my lips to hers, gently at first, then with increasing passion as I felt her respond. A wall inside her collapsed and she surrendered herself to me, body and soul, as her lips joined hungrily with mine. I pressed my body against hers from tip to toe, our lips devouring each other, our torsos connecting, our legs and feet intermingled. My fingers followed every line of her face, felt every softness, and explored every delicate curve, remembering all the details and discovering new ones I hadn't had the self-control to linger over before.
With great reluctance, I separated my lips from hers and I kept my head to her heart while it gradually calmed and my own excitement eased. In case she still hadn't understood a real possibility given her deep resistance I said, "By the way, I'm not leaving you."
"Promise? "
"Pakka wala promise! "
So that's it for now! Let me know, whether you liked it or not! Will be waiting for your comments and messages!
P. S. Picture abhi bhi baki hai.. .
P. S. Excuse the typos!
Edited by Itssanjh - 8 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Udne Ki Aasha
