Posted:
Is he?
He says relationships can't rest on emotion alone. One has to "lead" and the other has to be "led". He says you need compatibility and a willingness to let go of self for a relationship to work, even if you are not convinced this is the right thing to do. He believes that sometimes to keep relationships intact, you have to sacrifice your ego, your self respect.
Today I wondered, Suman and Shravan both want the other to come first, express first, show the need first. Both expect the other to understand their feelings. Both have high expectations of others. Both seem to love the other (and seemed to have atleast in one point in time, said they know the other loves them too).
Tumhein ye zid thi ki ham bulate, hamein ye umeed wo pukaare...
Hai naam hotho pe abhi lekin, awaaz mein pad gai daraarein...
Badi wafa se nibhai tumne humari thodi si bewaafai...
Yet, they don't communicate openly. They cant agree on anything without offending the other. They have trust and abandonment issues. How coolly Suman could be convinced by Aditya to get his help, and how nicely she could even tell him how he was intruding, and he also took it in good stride. He really started loving her more because she was trying to make him a better person, and he tried to do the same, and she even took his advice.
These two people, no matter how much they love each other, take seconds to judge each other, and give up. They barely understand each other, and rarely introspect. Are they even in love? How will this relationship survive? To live a life with someone you need some common ground, some commonality in ideals. You need to look in one direction, and you need to agree to disagree at times, too.
I feel Suman has a better shot with Adi than Shravan, and ShraMan relationship will always be rife with confrontation, arguments and bickering. Sumo won't bow down to Chachi, and won't think twice before saying something against Varun. Sumo wont give up something she truly believes in unless proven wrong. Heck, she wont even say sorry without specifying she doesnt think she is wrong.
I am in no way saying Suman is wrong. All I am saying is how are these two going to survive without hurting each other for life?
He says relationships can't rest on emotion alone. So they have emotion, but they need that compatibility , that understanding, and that acceptance.
One has to "lead" and the other has to be "led" Doesn't always have to be Suman who is led, but they need to be okay being led, both of them. Suman more so than Shravan.
He says you need compatibility and a willingness to let go of self for a relationship to work, even if you are not convinced this is the right thing to do. Shravan has done it for family, and for Suman (he forgave her for trying to make him meet with Nirmala). But Suman hasn't shown this side of her to Shravan yet. She doesn't let go of her pride, and her self respect. She says sorry for this incident but rubs it in that she was right. She doesn't lose small battles to win a big war.
He believes that sometimes to keep relationships intact, you have to sacrifice your ego, your self respect. Suman may well do it, but she has shown to Shravan time and again, that her self respect, her family, her feelings, her financial condition are all she cares about. She knows Kamini chachi, understands its a love marriage so there is a need for Preeti to be accepted, and expects Shravan to trust that she never would want something bad for him, but finds it hard to trust Shravan when he makes suggestions on something she can do.
When Shravan offers a discount due to his contacts (just a real, genuine discount) for booking a better hall she takes offense, but when Adi lies about a discount and actually pays for a lehnga, she willingly takes it. She doesn't care about Kamini chachi, and her reputation enough to let go of her self respect and take Shravan's help, and doesnt even apologize because she wants Shravan to appreciate the effort she took in making this event a success and ignore the aspersions his family has to go through, kyunki logon ka kaam hai kehna... but when she likes a lehnga its no big deal if a friend paid for it.
There is just too much, just too much Sumo has done to convince Shravan his father was right.
PS: I am not justifying Ramnath or blaming Suman for anything. I am simply trying to analyze how Shravan got convinced about this over time...
On a diff note... Adi is very wrong in some instances (like bringing groceries for a ceremony that is essentially for the Malhotras), and is plain annoying. if he is annoying me, to socho Shravan ka to khoon hi boil ho raha hoga. And Mr sixth sense has not yet seen ShraMan are in love, hats off...👏
I will sign off with a beautiful song that so aptly describes ShraMan state today:
Hazar rahein mud ke dekhin
Kahin se koi sada na aayi
Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai
Jahan se tum mod mud gaye the
Ye mod ab hi wahin pade hain
Hum apne pairon mein jaane kitne
Bhanwar lapete hue khade hain
Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai
Kahin kisi roz yun bhi hota
Hamari haalat tumhari hoti
Jo raat humein guzari marr ke
Vo raat tumne guzari hoti
Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai
Tumhe ye zid thi ke hum bulate
Humein ye ummid vo pukarein
Hai naam hoton pe ab bhi lekin
Aawaz mein pad gayi dararein
Hazar rahein mud ke dekhim
Kahin se koi sada na aayi
Badi wafa se nibhayi tumne
Hamari thodi si bewafai
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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