Thanks to all those who voted for me and remembered my writings. This is for you all, my angels.Stay safe and stay healthy. I will try and update as soon as I can and hope nothing gets spooked next time.
Shravan’s POV
I had gone to her place on an instinct, I am scared to admit to myself but more so because I had not seen her today. She had not scheduled an appointment for me today and I hated her for that though I hated her for many more reasons. Last seven years, seven long years I have survived not seeing her or maybe I survived hating her because the hate made her memory alive in me. I laughed at myself as I could feel my resolve to hate her crumbling the moment, I saw her in flesh and blood here. Now that I had seen her, I wanted to see her, get a whiff of her scent and feel her around me to just feel life surge in me. Although I kept up the facade, I knew the daily sparring was my breath, my reason to live. My reason to live had always been her whether in love or in hate and I am not sure whether I will ever be able to tell her that I pick up fights with her just to let her voice wash over me or just to hear her call me “Shravan” in her anger. I never knew my name sounded so sexy till she let them float over her lips. How dare she take away those moments from me by not allowing me to meet her? I was angry and the moment Veer asked me to come to his home, I jumped at the opportunity to see her and again start what I did best to hide my true feelings, spar with her. Little did I know that she decided to shut my mouth with the vision in front of me. I had always dreamt that she would one day dress in traditional attire just for me, a saree or a lehenga and let me peak at places which her hideous boring outfit has hidden from me. Today she stood there, looking ethereal in a red saree transparent enough to let me see her exposed midriff, her curves as the saree delicately moulded around her petite body. I saw her adjusting her pallu but little did she know that the 9-yard could not hide what I wanted to see and it did some funny things to my body. She was my Suman delicate, strong, cute yet stubborn, beautiful yet sensuous. I could feel my body warm up as my eyes roamed over her wanting to kiss every portion of her exposed skin. It was Veer’s persistent tug and a distant voice that brought me back to the sane world. I turned to see my new friend Vikram walk in through the same doors with his eyes glued to Suman. So lost was he in my Suman that he did not realize me standing there in the same room. He stood in front of me blocking my vision of Suman and exclaimed “I am so happy you wore my gift, confirming your intent to take our relationship to next level”. Then it struck me so this is why she is on leave today cancelling my appointment, this is why she is dressed up in HIS gift, for HIS birthday and then it all came crashing down , a dull pain starting in the corner of my heart. I had to leave before my emotions got better of me and I quickly turned around jerking off Veer’s hand and walked as fast as my legs could carry, away from her, out of her sight, out of her mind.It hurt to tell my heart “She is looking beautiful but in the eyes of the beholder and you are not the one, she belongs to someone else”. My shoulders stiffened a little as I felt a piercing gaze on my back, but I did not have the courage to look back as I could feel wetness on my cheeks.
Suman’s POV
I had always wanted him to admire me, him to make love to me alas nothing worked like what we wanted. I always thought it would be easy for me to throw him out of my life thinking that he the civilian who broke all ethics along with his family was done for good. In last 7 years I realized that he can never be done with, he is a part of me, part of my soul. I have been torn between Suman the lover and Suman the daughter and have been fighting the void that he left in my life and unknown to myself I became Shravan. It was as if I had two personalities living in me one the Suman who is the disciplined father’s daughter and the other who was reckless, violated rules, love face packs, I hate to admit is so like my Shravan. I never realized till one day Kancha pointed out how I had picked his mannerisms that I had kept Shravan closer than I could imagine. I understood I needed him and whenever I felt lonely, I let the Shravan in me give the lonely Suman in me company. Does it even make sense? Am I going mad? With time I accepted it and moved on till I saw him. I loved him because he was truthful, his love for me was bottomless but the untimely demise of my father made me hate civilians and putting Shravan in that category made it easier for me to hate him while keeping the split loving personality of Shravan inside me. Today he has destroyed my sole reason to hate him by joining the army. I am confused with the situation, how to handle this as I can feel my emotions on a turmoil and Vikram is not making my life easier.I could see the hurt in Shravan’s eyes as he walked out, I know deep somewhere within him Suvan lives. I am happy to realize that, but I am cursing myself for being the reason for his hurt. I might fight tooth and nail with him but its our fight. I can hurt him, but it hurts me to see that he misunderstood me with a third person. Do you realize our fights, our hate, our spar is between us and just us? I loved the way he looked at me, I could feel goose bumps erupt all along my skin. I wanted to close my eyes to feel him touching me all over with his warm fingers the way he had ran them over my face long, long ago. I could feel him undressing me with his eyes and it made me feel beautiful before Vikram broke the spell. Shravan don’t you realize that I am beautiful in your eyes only and you my only beholder.
Kumkum Bhagya
