Hiya Friends,
I'm going to post whatever writing juices are gushing out of me while i'm still motivated before i lose interest and just let my words eat figurative dust in my writing folder. Hope you enjoy it. Just how i think
Takes place when Suman's looking over his injury in tomorrow's i.e. 1 Oct 2020's precap but you can place it wherever you want.
“Purana wala Shravan hota toh aaj yahan na kharada hota.” He said through gritted teeth, keeping his eyes firmly focused on the wall in front of him instead of her. “Aysi kayi chotein khayi hain toh yahan tak phooncha hoon. Yeh dard aur chotein ab mehsoos bhi nahi hotay.”
Suman glanced at him. She could see his jaw clenched and body stiff as a stone and his eyes water but other than that nothing. As she returned to his stitches, she found it hard to keep her cool and remain impassive. Sure enough he didn’t even flinch as she took them out, she had to use every bit of her will to keep herself from reacting. As she cleaned the wound and redid his bandage, she broke the silence unable to help herself. Seeing him like this touched the deepest parts of her. Parts that she's spent 7 years trying to disassociate herself from but ultimately succeeding in merely burying them so far that most days only her subconscious mind could reach them. The boy she loved, her best friend who would throw a tantrum at the very sight of a needle was sitting before her, unmovingly, bearing pain that should have had him screaming. She couldn't stand it. Her own experiences with the pain from
“Dard mehsoos nahi hota iska mathlab yeh nahi ke chot nahi hai.” She spoke up, her voice toneless and impassive, which she actively worked to keep that way. “Dard ho na ho, zakham na bharein toh nasoor banjate hain. Andar hi andar zehr banke khokla kardete hain." And before you realize it, you'll become an empty shell; a vessel that's self-destructing just like she was. That - that was something she could never wish on him. The pain she's been living with, pain that she has no choice but to live with is one she could never ever wish on him. The wounds she's fostered became infected until they became poisonous for her own self. The only option left was too amputate in order to survive which left her without parts of herself that made her whole. Now she was just an empty shell that no longer had anything to offer anyone but the same pain, destruction and fire that burned her as much as it fuelled her to keep her going.
Their eyes met briefly as she glanced up once again and her eyes locked into his. Even in that briefness they were able to the world of pain between them. Pain that wasn’t just his or hers, but theirs. It was the same just masked under different covers. If nothing else, this pain was the thread binding them and yet… as close they were in this moment, they were further apart than ever.
She could only hope that he would allow himself to heal. To stop himself from reopening old wounds and walking on the path that would lead him to the same darkness on whose edge she was teetering on. The darkness of insanity. He deserved better. Much better than she could ever hope to give anyone. He deserves to be loved and cherished which won't happen until he healed. So with every fibre of her being, she hopes that he will.
- The End -
So there it is. I'm not very happy with it. I don't even know if i've made sense of it but meh... it is what it is.
- M
Cricket
