ArDhika OS [Dark] : Let Me Heal You 05/08 *Part III* Pg 07 - Page 4

Radhika

I almost tripped while rushing back to my room. My heart was pounding faster than a f*cking train. My heart, the one that beats, the one that has been with me during my fear, the one that experienced the cruelty of this world is the one that matches with his heartbeat.

I shut the door behind me and with a loud thump I hit my back against it, hitting my head hard at the same time. My butts hit the floor and I sat lifelessly against the door. After a long time I let go of my tears. The tears I vowed not to shade when I was in pain. When those evil souls ripped each and everything away from me, I refused to show my weakness to me. But I knew even then they won. They turned this body into a piece of meat in no time and froze my heart forever.

But today Arjun squeezed that frozen heart and broke the icy layer. I know he knows what he is done. Even when I didn't talk to him, he melted that solid layer slowly burning it with his gaze, which only has love.

I want to cry, scream, and break things. I want to harm myself for losing my composer in front of him.

Why oh why he still manages to affect me.

I thought I was dead and ruined for everyone.

I thought I was just cold meat then why it warms me up when he looks at me lovingly?

Why do I feel shy around him when every other man in this world has seen me naked?

I rushed towards the toiled as the bile hit my throat. I gagged few times uncomfortably thinking how I let other men rule my body. And how like a sacrificing lamb I let them touch me.

I watched my disbelieved stated in the mirror. My own reflection haunted me. Terrified Me. I am dirty. This world has made me dirty. Like a manic I started rubbing my clean skin. I could still feel those dirty tongue-doing things to me.

Eww, I started rubbing my skin desperately. I took the towel and dampen it with the water. Then sat on the bath tub and started running the water. I need to clean my self was my only mantra. Everytime I rubbed my wrist, I wince in pain. Those imprints that reflected that once I was tied, mocked me.

I let off a painful growl. I was nothing but a helpless, weak, stupid girl and now I am nothing but a piece of trash.

When my skin couldn't take any more I sunk myself in the tub. The hot water burn my over scrubbed skin. But it was nothing compared to what all they poured on me. I shut my eyes tightly desperately wanting to erase those memories. I dipped my entire face under the water holding my breath. A part of me wanted to drown my self. But another part pulled me up to catch air.

I gulped a huge amount of air and then cried my hurt out.

"To bad precious, but I love you. I loved you every single moment. Then and Now".

"Precious", I laughed a little hearing my new nickname. It was a sad laugh though. I am no body's precious. I can never be. I am not worth that nickname. I am not worth to be loved. Even though I love him, I don't want him to love me. Because all he would get is pain, darkness, ugly nightmares where I wake up screaming. He deserves much better than this.

Even though I remind myself such things, my heart leaps every time I think about his words then and now'. It warms my entire body. My hearts wants go to him and hug him as if it's life dependent on him but my brain scolds her and shows it, the place where it belongs, umm well well it doesn't belong to be precise.

My fingers start to wrinkle due to prolonged position in the water. It reminds me of my current state. Ugly and crumpled.

No matter how much I try to scrub off the dirt, it wont go away. I have become filthy. Everything I touch will become filthy. And I cant let that happen to him.

The more I think about him the more in drown into those two beautiful eyes. It was those eyes, which I started to admire when I was a baby. That time innocently and now with passion, which I thought didn't exists after what I have gone through.

Men were like creatures for me, yet this man was nothing but an angel.

Arjun

I smile at myself. I know I did it. I wanted to see her reaction and she gave me that. I punched the air like a 13 year old and did a little jig. I wanted to tell his brother to stop all her counseling and let me take care of her. The only one she reacted with is me. I also want to tell him how much I love her and since when. I am sure he would understand. After all he likes me a lot and he would be happy to hear that I am going to help his sister to heal. But bfore that I need to make sure this little fire cracker is with me.

Fire Cracker, she truly is. My Fire cracker. I love her.

I know she needs time. But well I am an impatient man her after my confession. When I said I love her I know it has hit the bulls eye. Her body language might have been strong but her eye gave in. I saw the true feelings in those two honey coloured obs.

I give her time to compose. But tonight after dinner I am going to talk to her. I am pretty determined about it. I have to show her how much I mean those three words.

Radhika

I slipped out of the tub and tucked a fluffy warm towel around me. The white colour screamed purity where as I was anything but pure.

I hung my head in defeat, kicking myself several times for being so depressed. It is all because of him. Tonight I am going to make sure he is out of my life for his good. I have had enough. I cant ruin him. I love him a bit too much. He is the only man I have loved and would ever love even in this state.

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