Irresponsible Parents?

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Julle

@second_chances

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Arnt Urmis parents considered irresponsible?

They should know what kind of guy would be good for her daughter but instead they locked onto the first rich guy that walked through the doors and wouldnt let up.

Rude? Arrogant? Selfish? Mannerless? Shameless? Self Conceited?

Doesnt matter! comes from a good home and is rich. All that matters.

And when a member of the family questions it, sensing all is not right? He gets put down!!! They are newly weds and things like this happen. All will be well in due time.

Seriously, why cant parents read their children? Are they so blind and desperate to fit into society and have their daughters married off? So if/when Urmi does come home wanting a shoulder to cry on, they will send her back? Tell her things like that happen?

Heres the sad part: In our culture things like this happen. IT IS NORMAL because the culture has made it normal.

And those (like me & Trishna) who do not treat it as normal are treated like outcasts.

If arranged marriage is the culture and the norm for marriage and moving on from one phase in your life to the next, then it is the parents ultimate responsibility. How can they push everything under the rug? I know alot of people are not strong enough to accept reality but if you are a parent and you are CHOOSING your daughters life partner forever and ever, then you have to be stronger than this.

IDK the solution to this because obviously this happens more often than not. And yes urmi had unreal expectations and all that, but did anyone sit her down (specially the mother) to let her know the ups and downs of marriage? or did they just feed her delusions and let her build a false image of married life?

People like samrat make my skin crawl and scare the living daylights out of me. I do not want anyone of my friends or sisters or any woman to end up with someone insensitive and rude and has no desire to be in a relationship.

Note to moms: if your son isnt ready to get married, wait till he is! no reason the young women should suffer because you need help in the kitchen!

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Tulsey

@Tulsey

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

From what I gathered, Urmi's parents did not pick this guy but he was referred by their bahu. Bahu and Ishaan are giving great remarks then who would you trust...would it not be word of mouth more to trust?

I have hard understanding Urmi's behaviour on today's epi, she cried on her hubby's chest. Her hubby brought her jewellery and the next day she asked her MIL that she will talk to her hubby not to be harsh with his parents.
I would have waited a few days to understand the family and see which way the wind is blowing. Get Samrat on my side and after being comfortable with him, then ask questions. But Urmi ki haar kya Mila ke woh tow sir char gayee. Wrong step and too early. She should have read him well when she got scolded for sweeping her hair on his face!!!! :((

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Julle

@second_chances

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

HE was referred but they chose to give their beloved daughter away to him. Only because of the referrals? Even after they were put down by his mother? Didnt they think their daughter maybe put down in her new house? Even if samrat is a good guy, shes living with his family, not just him.

There were signs they blatantly ignored and they continue to ignore. What makes it worse is that if someone raises some concerns, they get a yelling like no other.

Urmi is sensitive and hasnt seen the real world, Samrat is practical cause hes seen the real world. OK both are ok in their place. A wifes job isnt to "Fix" someone.

Samrat has no respect for his family, yells and demeans them in public and has no shame or remorse in doing so.

There were too many signs for the parents to give urmi a heads up and ask for her final answer but no. hes rich and from a good family and the last good man left on earth has put urmi in this world.

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Purrrfect

@Purrrfect

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

Bahu is as rude as her cousin Samrat hehe

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KhatamKahani

@KhatamKahani

Stunner

Posted: 11 years ago

I agree. i think some in that family wouldn't have cared even if Ishaan hadn't covered up for Samrat. They keep talking of how great the match is on paper.

Rashmi is another one, she too has a sort of ego. She should listen to her mother and shut up, but instead she's so bent on proving herself right that she continues to plant her feet firmly and dig her head into the the sand.

Urmi too I think is naive and has some unrealistic expectations. Like aside from Samrat's jackass behavior, some stuff she should realize not all guys are going to like. Like, how she picked out his clothes for him. That's fine, but he didn't like it. I don't blame him for that. i guess she didn't either eventually. But till.

But even more so, I think Urmi for her all pretense of being a bit more "liberal" than her Dadi's views, I don't really think she is. I mean she hopes for respect from both sides in a marriage, but that's it. She doesn't really practice or believe in many of the beliefs that would have to go alongside that. You can't just say, I believe a marriage should be equal, but then still believe in and conform to all the basic ideas which form the basis of the thinking that a wife's place is lower than the husband's.

Urmi knew what Samrat's thoughts were on Trisha and "girls like Trisha." But that was okay for her, as according to her he just has a different way of thinking. She is able to be okay with this, probably because I think her grandmother most likely has the same thoughts on Trisha.

Urmi had seen enough of Samrat's ego, he had told her himself that his own family doesn't dare cross him. Urmi herself chose to pass his test (even if she didn't know it was a test) by carrying out his wish of Trisha not coming to the wedding.

Does all of this mean I believe Urmi deserves to stay in such a disrespectful marriage? No, people have the right to grow, change, etc. People have the right to correct their decisions, move on, etc.

Edited by likarsh - 11 years ago

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Dolly-heart

@Dolly-heart

Sparkler

Posted: 11 years ago

You have asked a good question. Are they irresponsible ??

In some ways , Yes.

It is a parents duty to know and understand their daughter especially because they have been grooming her from a very young age that her eventual destination is with her husband and his family.

Why Urmi's parents did not investigate more when they had those niggling doubts about their soon to be son-in-law is where they let their responsibility down.

Then when Urmi came to her mother with that sad face her mother again advised her to just take it easy all will be fine and it is her job to get adjusted to her husbands family and do all the work to make them all love her.

Urmi's mother never wonders why my daughter is so sad and cried her heart out when she came for the "Pag Pheres"

Instead of getting an honest reply she ends up telling her to just bear it for now.

A responsible mother who should have been intuitive about her child and recognize that something is off and should have told her ... If there is any problem there in your in-laws house you always have me to support you and you will always have a place to go to when you are troubled... she did the opposite.

Parents not understanding their children's dreams and aspiration and not thinking of their likes and dislikes make the biggest mistakes.

And if this story goes the way it should and not end in the old way it will open many

parents eyes to pay attention to their daughters nature and marry them in like thinking families.

Here's hoping that young and naive girls like Urmi do not have to suffer with men that are arrogant, rude and uncaring.

Edited by Dolly-heart - 11 years ago