rantara ff-sajda tere pyar mein[note at page 150] - Page 94

Chapter 34

Ayan and antara came out of caf. Antara looked everywhere to search for raghu. "I think he is back in house antara and planning for my murder." Ayan teased. "ayan stop it yaar!! Enough! Raghu is not like that." Antara said. "well you know better. Hey listen chipkali, do you need a lift?!" he asked. "no it's okk ayan! I can manage myself!" antara said. "okk madam, bye for now. Hope to meet you again. And remember this antara, if my doubt becomes true then you have to invite me and rachna first in your marriage!" he teased. "ayan!!... u are such a..." antara stroke on his shoulder hardly. "ouch!!..." he said. "okk bye!!" antara waved his hand and rushed towards the other side of road. It's all ready dark so she took a cab to return back. The air from the dal lake came through the window and ruffled her hairs. She smiled lightly thinking about all the moments of the day. She spent all day with raghu! The person, she couldn't even tolerate for single min before someday. But actually she shared some precious moments with him on that day. Probably the best day she spent after coming back to shrinagar. Without any tension and sadness but a joyful day all in all it was. Antara suddenly took out the diary from her bag and started to write something. The cab continued to go towards her home.

Antara was shocked when she saw the door was wide open. She got scared at first. Ishan was not in home as he had gone to pahelgaon trip for two days with his friends. She at first thought that aman or his man attacked on their house again. but everything seemed okk. Not a single stress of mess. But the silence was really something. Like the silence before storm. Suddenly she heard the huge sound of glass breaking from the 1^st floor. The sound really shook her all over. What's going on?! She rushed upstairs and was just about to enter inside the room, a bottle get crashed on the floor right in front of her. antara's feet frozed at the spot in fear. She looked at the glass pieces with bewildered eyes and the hard smelling liquid spreading all over. Antara's eyes widened and she slowly looked inside the room. She found raghu seating on the floor supporting the bed. His posture was cocky. His eyes were closed. He might had sensed her presence. So he slowly looked at her startled and shocked face. he let out a crooked smile looking at her. "aa gayii... miscall... maze maar ke?!" he asked in a tone full of mock and disgust. His voice was stumbling due to alcohol effect. Antara came inside the room ignoring the glass. She didn't know why, she was getting afraid of raghu for the first time. His words, his posture, everything was giving her negative vibes. "raghu!! Kya hain ye sab?!" she asked in dazed tone. "huh!!..." he again let out that mocking smile but his eyes were dangerously cold. He stood up in stumbled feet and came near her keeping his gaze in her startled face. as he came near, the smell of alcohol spin antara's head and he kept he hand on her mouth to control the vomit. "raghu tumne sharab pi hain...!! cheee!" she said with utter disgust. "cheee?!! Kya vey?!!" he said in frustrated voice. "apun sharap piya toh chee... aur tu kya kar rahi thi haan?!! Itne der tak akele ek lark eke sath full too timepass ke ayi wo kyat ha?!" he asked in cold dangerous voice. Antara felt like the ground slipped under her feet. Blood drooped from her face. she looked at his eyes with utter shock and pain. She knew he might be mad but hiw could you say those words?! For once those painful eyes made a patch of guilt in raghu's mind but it didn't stand for long as he was totally intoxicated. "kya kaha tumne?!" she asked in a low dazed voice. "wohich jo tune sunaa. Bari bhasan deti hain na... ussulon ki, adarso ki... kiahan gaya wo sab hnnn?... ek gora chikna larka dekha toh... full too flat hnnn?!!... agar tu apni manmani karegi too apun kyun nahi kar sakta... Piyega apun... iske baad roj piyega... samjhi?! Aur waisey bhi apun kar bhi kya sakta hain?! apun too gunda hain na?! uss chickne ki tarah paralikha, suit-boot pahene five star pe nahi le ja sakta naa... Thik thak English bhi naiii bol sakta... bhool gaya tha... Miscall to bahut achi English bolti hain... to kaisa laga haan us pappu ayan ke sath?!!... kitna maza aya bol?..." he said with stumbled mocking voice. "Enough!!" antara said loudly. her jaw hardened. "ab agey mere aur ayan ke barein ek bhi shabd mat kehena!! Kisne hak diya tumhe ayan aur mere barein mein ye sab sochne ki?!!... main soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki tumhare dil mein itna gandha soch bhi aa sakta hain... choro... Mujhe kuch nahi kahena tumse aur na hi kuch sun na hain..!" antara said with cracked voice. She felt a sharp pain while saying those words. She felt her tears were about to overflow. But his disgusting words were floating in her mind. she moved away to get out from the room and that moment raghu twisted her hand so tightly and rudely that she almost screamed in sudden pain. Catching her wrist over her waist she faced his burning mad gaze, full of anger and disgust. His eyes shook her allover and she became froze at the state, staring helplessly in those eyes. "naiii sun na hain matlab?! Sun na parega... Kyun? Sach baat hajam nahi huin?! Badhajma ho gaya?!!..." he said with full of anger. "raghu choro mujhe dard ho raha hain!!" antara said trying to hold her tears. His strong grip on her hand was almost about to break her wrist. "ohhh..." he chuckled. "apun to bhool gaya tha... miscall ko mere chune se dard hota hain... usey to bas uss chikne ka chuna acha lagta hain?.. hain na?!!" he said in poisonous voice. "raghu!!..." she screamed gathering her strength and tried to get out of his hold. "chilla mat!!..." he said. "kaha chua tha usne tujhe haan?!! Idhar?!!" he tightly grabbed his arms and pressed roughly. Antara squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lips to control the pain. The smell of alcohol and moreover his words were spreading disgusting feelings all over. She didn't want to c his face, never! "ya idhar?!!... bata..." he hugged her so tightly and pressed herself to his hard chest that she felt she was about to press her all bones. She started to shake all over! She felt like today was her end. She felt his breath around her neck and a quite chuckle. "bilkul aise hich gale lagaya hoga na usey tujhe?! fir aise hi tere ko jor se pakra hoga na?!..." his hold got tighter around her waist and antara just broke out. She felt silet tears coming out from her eyes and flowing vigorously. He scared his face on her chick and even in that situation a small smile escaped from his face sensing her tenderness against his hardness. She was so gentle, so breakable, yet fiery inside. Antara quivered on his hold feeling dizzy. Her silent sob couldn't be hard by him. "antara!!!..." he said slowly and the sudden tenderness in his voice startled her. "tuuu... Kyun tab mere ko jane ke liye boli haan?!..." he asked in broken voice. She didn't answer. "tune mere se wadha kiya tha kit u kabhi mere ko jane ke liye nahi bolegi... pata hain mujhe kitna bura lag raha thaa... nahi rahe pata main tere se door... tere ko kisi aur ke sath nahi dikha jata mere se..." he said in so breakable voice. Again confusion arose in antara's mind. What was he trying to say?!! And why?!! Why couldn't he c her with other person?! His slowly caressed her back giving her a chill allover and he coiled more in his arms. Surprisingly, the disgusting feeling was going away suddenly and she was becoming slowly comfortable in his hold. "apun tere ko chot pauchana nahi chahta... Sach kahe raha hoon... lekin ho jata hain mere se... kya karoon... dimag sanak jata hain toh hosh nii raheta... Par bahut takleef hoti hain... sachiii... tere pe chillake, tere se jhagra kar kea pun ko bhi acha nahi lagta..." He continued to blabber in his stumbled slow voice. Antara was having tough time in his hold. She was having so many mixed feeling of fear, confusion, anger as well as tenderness. His words were making her so confused. Just a moment ago his words were making her disgusted. But again his tender words were reminding about the guy whom she knew for all day. That innocent boy hiding inside that ruffian! Antara suddenly felt that his grip was loosened and if she tried a bit he could easily get out of his hold. She gathered her all courage and was about to push him away but the anticipation caused the excitement in her nerves which raghu sensed. And she understood her intention. So before she could get away he pinned her harshly to the wall. The faded rage had risen up again. Her two wrists were pressed hardly againsty the wall and she could feel his hard feature pressing harshly against her. time by time the pressure of his hard chest was increasing time by time. Antara didn't have the courage to look at his face. Her whole feature was shaking in his rage, in his anger. His breath fell on her face. his mad eyes roamed all over her fear full face. "bhag rahi thi mere se haan?! Kyun?! Kyun bhag rahi thi?!!... bhag ke kidhar ja rahi thi?! Uss ayan ke pass?! Naii ja sakti samjhi!!!... naiii jane dunga... Naii choo sakta wo tujhe!!!..." he screamed out of his breath. Antara couldn't take that anymore. At a moment, all person lose their hold and she broke out. Her silent sobs came out as mad tears that time. Raghu became startled as few drops fell on his chest too. He suddenly saw that glow on the nape of her eyes. His hard expression was shattered at that very moment. "eee... kkk... kyaaa?!! Ttt .. tu ro rahi hain..." saying in his stumbled voice he quickly cupped her face and made her look towards him. Her eyes were full of anger and sadness and also tears were overflowing from them. "eee nahi... Rone ka naiii... Tu ro mat... dekh... tu roti hain to... s**a apun ka khopri satak jati hain... man karta hain har ek ko maar maar ke zameen pe sula doon... chup ho ja naa... antara aisa mat kar mere sath.. takleef hota hain..." his painfull eyes urged her to stop the ters. It was too much unbearable for him. He was going to rub the tears from her chicks but at that moment anger flashed in her eyes and she pushed him heavily. "takleef hota hain na?! aur tumne jo mujhe takleef di hain uska kya?!!" she screamed loudly. raghu looked at her, all startled. Her eyes were emanating fire, disgust. "tumhe yahin problem hain na ki ayan ne bas mujhe ek hug kiya?!! Ek baat bataon raghunath naik... aaj pure din mein tumne mujhe kitni baar touch kiya?! Haan bataon?!! Kuch yaad hain tumhe?!!... na yaad ayein to main bata doon... tulip garden mein, gulmarg mein... kahi baar to tum mere itne kareeb thee ki..." antara stooped her voice. Raghu continued to look at her dazed. "tumhe kya laga main bahut enjoy kar rahi thi?! Maza aa raha tha jab tum mere kareeb aa rahe the?!... raghu maine kuch nahi kahan... Kyun jaan te ho?! KYUN KI MUJHE TUMPE BHAROSA THA... mujhe pata tha kit tum jo bhi ho jaisa bhi ho par tum insaan galat nahi ho!!! Tumhari niyat galat nahi hain... aur ayan ke sath bhi waisa hi tha... Wo bhi mera dost hain raghu aur agar wo mujhe console karne ke liye agar ek friendly hug kare to mere nazar se usme koi galat nahi hain kyun ki uske dil mein koi khot nahi tha!! Kitna jaan te ho tum mere barein mein? Ayan ke barein mein jo tumne mere barein mein aisi baat kahe diya haan?!! Tumhe kaise laga ki main aur ayan..." antara broke out in cry. His words were roaming in her ears. How could he say those words for her?! "misscall!!..." he said slowly. "chup raho!!.." she snapped back. "pata hain ab mujhe khud pe gussa aa raha hain ki maine tumpe bharosa kyun kiya... Jo kisi aur pe bharosa nahi kar sakti wo bharose ke layak kaise ho sakta hain... raghu u pointed on my character... and I won't tolerate that!!" she said and rushed out from the room with tears in her eyes. "miscall!!..." his scream resisted her feet and she turned back. He saw him standing beside the door, looking to her with heart wrenching eyes. For that moment his eyes melted her anger. But when he tried to approach her she backed off. "nahii mr raghunath naik! mere pass ane ki koushis bhi mat karna... Tum wo hak kho chuke ho... aur haan iske baad tabhi mere samne ana jab tumhe samajh aa jayein ki tumne kitni bari galti ki hain!!" she said and without wasting a single moment she rushed inside her room and locked the door. She crushed on the floor, crying badly, holding her knees. She was feeling like someone took away her heart from her chest. the day which went so beautifully, ended like a bizarre. She sank her head in her knees and continued to let out silent tears. After his father's death, it was the 2^nd time when he cried that badly. The sob would continue if the mobile didn't ring at that moment. Composing herself and rubbing her tears from her eyes, she picked the phone. It was vishal uncle. "antara I got some news about daya naik. before some years she was charged in case for supplying forbidden drugs and arms." Vishal uncle said. That's the thing which she needed for confirmation and only one thing was needed to know. "uncle did you saw the diagram of nuclear device I send to you?!" antara asked. uncle was quite for a while and said, "yes, and guess what.. ur idea was absolutely right! That was an explosive!! A very modern invention and we all are shocked that how did the thing came to headmaster?!! Even our defense service don't have that kind of things. And that radioactive material... that was the fuel for that device. You can say the device won't work without that. Each and every device is enough to destroy a big city and 40 miles radius around them!! so they were again planning for something big!" uncle said. "uncle tell me, the radioactive material... I know it's nit available in INDIA. You have to transport them from foreign. But who was supplying those to siddiqui?!" antara asked. "we were keeping eye on siddiqui's each and every activity and deal with foreign and foreigners but still no clue!" vishal said. "uncle if he doesn't order it on his own. If he made the orders by someone else?!" she asked. "what do you mean?!" uncle asked. "uncle I think daya naik is providing arms to siddiqui even that radioactive material." Antara said. "what!! Ohhh shit!! Why didn't we think that before?!" uncle said. "uncle please enquire about daya naik's deals with any foreign companies or else. I am having gut feeling that she might be one of the dealer of siddiqui." Antara said. "okk antara!! and thx a lot!!... we are still trying hard to break the code but ur info is always helpful." Uncle said. Antara cut the phone and look towards the wall with hard eyes.

Precap: "arey bhaijaan antara ayein to please bata dena ki kaal saam ko meri aur rachna ki shadi ka reception hain. please hum bahut khus hongey agar aap dono ayein toh..." ayan's voice roamed from the other side of phone. The chord fell down from raghu's hand and he looked at the wall with frozen eyes! "hello hello. Bhaijaan?! Aap wahan hain naa?" the voice came from the other side of receiver. Ragu kicked his leg in frustration and without wasting a moment he rushed outside. He had to find antara anyhow!! otherwise it would be disaster.

ps: sorry for this depressing update.. i know it's so much logic less and i don't even know what i have penned down in quick... 😕