Understanding Sandhya and Bhabo. - Page 2

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UMDU thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#11

Originally posted by: farhana874

Aunty...I can understand! Coz being an aam ladki myself I too have such fears of society n culture.
I dream of a decent job only, I couldn't think of being an IPS officer or such!
But in DABH they are portraying Sandy as a special girl, who is brave n strong enough, so number 4 or 5 shouldn't be a worry for her!


Sandhya is no doubt special but she is very young and has lost her parents.She has come to love the Rathi family as her own. It is a safety net for her after the loss of her parents and the betrayal by her brother. We can advice many to break away but it is extremely difficult to do that yourself. Sandhya all her life stood for truth and fought for what is right but even she here is shown bowing to the system and accepting the diktaits of her mother in law without protest.Why? That is what most girls in towns do and in this aspect Sandhya is not different. Try to understand her taking all the factors I have stated not just one. View her in totality you will understand why she continues. On a lighter note we won't have SurYa if she leaves isn't it. Would you like that ?
Edited by UMDU - 12 years ago
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Posted: 12 years ago
#12

Originally posted by: shehjar

lovely post again UMDU .👏 u have a knack of highlighting the other side which is much needed⭐️

poor sandy my heart goes for her .her dilemma is understandable poor girl doesnt want any problems in the family coz of her ..

i remember her convo with ankur where she says
"main apnay sapnoon ka bhooj surajji kay upar nahi dalna chahti "
that is exactly what has happened so can imagine her mental state .
having said that i still want to send that Jhansi ki Rani ka DVD to her she needs to stand up for her rights.

Bhabo will be bhabo she knows sandys weakness so she is banking on her emotional atyachar

Agreed Shehjar, Sandhya is being emotionally blackmailed by Bhabo only because she knows she will listen to her. However she feels in the long run she is acting for their good only. They will be grateful to her for her intrusion. Thank you for your inputs.
Edited by UMDU - 12 years ago
.Ami. thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#13
Umdu Chachi - Here We're discussing about Sandy who's very brave, gutsy n intelligent enough to fight against any thick n thin shades of life. I can't figure out why you always bring issues that we all are aware about regarding women/girls n you've stated many times in your thread/posts. Anyway, I really don't wanna stretch this matter anymore. Dimaag ki baati off ho gayi hain!
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Posted: 12 years ago
#14

Originally posted by: ami_dabh

Umdu Chachi - Here We're discussing about Sandy who's very brave, gutsy n intelligent enough to fight against any thick n thin shades of life. I can't figure out why you always bring issues that we all are aware about regarding women/girls n you've stated many times in your thread/posts. Anyway, I really don't wanna stretch this matter anymore. Dimaag ki baati off ho gayi hain!

I also do not understand why you cannot take all the factors in totality which I have mentioned and just emphasise on the finance alone. Sandhya's compulsions are all put together not just one point. Your question will always be why can't she ? My answer will always be she won't due to the totality of all the reasons stated not just one. Anyway Ami as you very rightly said let us agree to disagree on this point. Finish off this discussion here. However I must thank you for your inputs in making the arguments lively.
Edited by UMDU - 12 years ago
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Posted: 12 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: peachesandcream

Well said.

Sandhya despite all she has been able to accomplish is still a relatively young girl. She has truly accepted Suraj's parents as her own and also looks up to them as her elders. I think this is a factor in her succombing to Babho's wishes. There is the desire to please a parent and do as she has been advised by an elder. To some extent this might even be a sort of emotional blackmail by Babho who is aware of Sandhya's acceptance of her.

Thank you so much for your inputs. I agree totally with you. Sandhya is indeed very young and the Rathi family is a safety net after the loss of her parents. Respect for elders ingrained in her mind by her parents is playing out and making her keep quiet.
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Posted: 12 years ago
#16
Great Analysis. Spot on. One thing ..maybe I'm wrong but it seems like all this has happened in a matter of 2 or 3 days so if today was the deadline for the 3rd year application, Suraj didnt have too much time to "warm" up bhabho. Although, he should have done it in a better way.

Thanks again for the lovely analysis!!
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Posted: 12 years ago
#17
Great Analysis. Spot on. One thing ..maybe I'm wrong but it seems like all this has happened in a matter of 2 or 3 days so if today was the deadline for the 3rd year application, Suraj didnt have too much time to "warm" up bhabho. Although, he should have done it in a better way.

Thanks again for the lovely analysis!!
[/QUOTE Thank you for your words of encouragement. The Warming up I was talking about was graduation idea and even Bhabasa who knows Bhabo well said she would be agreeable at a pinch to the idea of engineer or doctor but not IPS. With sufficient pressure about Chavvi needing help in third year Bhabo could have been convinced but the talk of IPS put up her guard. and she went in the opposite direction.
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Posted: 12 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: UMDU

Yesterday's episode got me thinking. Bhabo is extremely anxious to see Sandhya erase her dreams. She is fully aware that any hint of Sandhya's passion can get her son running. All her attempts to brainwash Sandhya according to her have failed, when she sees the book in Sandhya's hands. She immediately asks her whether it is a fiction and when Sandhya says it is a subject book, her alarm bells get active She decides to do round 2 brainwashing to completely do away with the problem . Sandhya voluntarily surrenders her books. Bhabo is not satisfied. Than Sandhya talks about the pen and expresses her reluctance to part with it. That gets Bhabo interested as she believes that is the key. Sandhya's reluctance makes her even more determined. This is what must be reminding my Beendani of her father and his dreams for her. If I take it away from her maybe she will stop dreaming. Out of sight out of mind principle. When people are desperate we often do things which are irrational. Many times I have seen students desperately praying to God for passing the exam even though they know their preparation is inadequate and they will not do well. Similarly when we come across zodiac sign predictions in the newspaper we glance through them knowing fully well they are not likely to play out.. There are several such irrational behaviours which we do but cannot explain. Bhabo is no different. Taking away of the pen will not erase Sandhya's dreams but as they say in Hindi 'Dhoobte ko tinke ka sahara'.


Understand her psychology here. She truly believes she is acting in the interest of her son and Beendani. She is not doing anything which is morally or ethically wrong. She as an elder and a wiser person has to ensure they are together and happy in the future. She applies the same principle that I have been talking about.For a larger and long term good, small wrongs can be excused. She knows she is hurting Sandhya but in her mind they will appreciate her in future for having shown them the right path.

Sandhya has fought several battles outside the house including thwarting a terrorist attack but is unable to stand up for her rights at home WHY?
1. Her love for Suraj
2. Her fear of her parents being blamed if she walks out.
3. Her fear she should not be responsible for bringing a rift between the mother and son.
4. She does not want to burden her brother as she will be dependent on him if she walks out.
5.After the loss of her parents and betrayal by the brother she has come to love the Rathi family as her own. It is her safety net.
6.. It is very difficult for a small town girl to break away from the strangle hold of traditions as society does not take kindly to such rebellion and most women fear a backlash so they stay put and accept all the humiliation thrown in their direction. A totality of all the factors put together prevents Sandhya from breaking away.
The error which Suraj made was to venture into talking about the IPS dream immediately. He should have warmed up his mother to graduation and than talked about it later. The shock of IPS has made Bhabo's resistance twofold. It was a tactical error from his side so the battle will be even more fierce. His enlisting Ankur for the drama was the second mistake he made as Bhabo views it as a great Kothari conspiracy.
Now the only recourse left with Suraj is to make his intentions crystal clear before his mother without wavering .A confrontation cannot be avoided. The time for round table conference has long passed. If he stands tall and firm Bhabo will not be able to control him. The very fact she is not talking to him openly but is going through Sandhya reflects her fear over her inability to persuade him directly. They say hit the iron when it is hot. Now that Suraj knows, he should take advantage of the situation and fight back. His firmness will make the others in the family also realize they can't take him for granted. Chalo Suraj HALLA BOL !


UMDU ⭐️ Purrrfffect analysis and I agree with all that you have mentioned in this post and really want Suraj to take a firm unwavering stand with Sandhya as well as Bhabho and the rest of the family.

I dont like the way the siblings have been behaving - with rudeness towards Sandy and Suraj and speaking out of turn in a family conference esp by Chavvi...
Also Somebody besides Sandjhya needs to bring to the attention of Bhabho how badly behaved, irresponsible and thoughtless her other children have been and she needs to be told and shown how her upbringing has been faulty.

I am hoping somehow that Chavvi's in-laws somehow help in Bhabho's realisation of how lucky she is to have a Suraj and a Sandhya in her family as they are the only ones who are sensible in that entire family...

So coming to your post UMDU I want Suraj to take charge somehow and be focussed in his mission along with being respectful in his manner...
ladyterp thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#19
UMDU, I agree with everything that you said for Sandhya's reason. She promised Bhabho that she will never come in between mother and son. And yes, she is sensitive to her inlaws opinion of her parents. Which daughter is not? Sooraj needs to man up and take the reins here. I want to see a bond build between Sooraj and Sandhya and eventually lead to them understanding each other better. They already do. I loved what Sandhya said to Bhabho two days ago - "Bhabho, sooraji ka dil bahut saaf hain. Yeh mujse jyaada aap jante hai". The way she said that was wonderful. She has a very high opinion of her husband. What a lovely couple.
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Posted: 12 years ago
#20
@MSN:- I did some serious mind-pulling in my loose-wire mode. Clap for me.. 👏 😆..

Okay, Coming back to the topic, Why I was focusing on finance more because we're living in world of digitization. One can make money (In the corporate world, we often use word "make money" instead "earn money.") while working from home through internet..😃. Yes, Internet is a medium one can utilize it to make money so Sandy can go with that option by working as a content writer, creating blogs...😉. No degrees required for that. Just knowledge of good English n basic knowledge of HTML n one is ready to go. Days are gone for unconditional love. Nowadays, majority of relations relays on Conditional love -- Give n Take..

Younger generation girls definitely lacking of patience n tolerance power compared to ladies of your generation..(I'm definitely in..)..😕.

Changes in the society is done very rapidly before even we adapt in 21st century..(Harsh reality..).

Out of the topic, We often believe that when we starts to work n make money, we can actually become an independent entity which is one big illusion.😆. From the birth to death we're dependent entities.😲.

Hai Laa..😲.. I can reply in sensible manner as well..😲 🤣


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