Posted:
There is a song by Paul Simon- 50 ways to leave your lover.
DABH has plagirised that and illustrated to us on 50 ways to beat up, humiliate, insult and treat your bahu. .
1. When you bring her home- make her stand outside for hours in the dead of night.
2. Let her sleep in her wet bridal wear in the drawing room of the house- this will make sure that she learns to know what real discomfort is.
3. Make sure she eats at least 50 ladoos at one go in the name of rituals.
4. Drag her around in crowded buses.
5. Force her to climb to the roof of a moving bus in her nice expensive saree. This will improve her hardiness.
6. Make sure she gets no privacy whatsoever even to the bathroom. Adjustment.
7. Ask her to steal other people's shoes- that too in a temple. This will teach her to share.
8. Taunt her about her family, specially if her parents have only passed away less than a month ago. That will make her forget her sorrow at losing them.
9. Force her to prove that she is having her periods by seeking proof in front of the entire family specially the male members. How dare she claim any right to any dignity.
10. When she saves the mother in law from near mutilation by a bull, instead of thank you- scream obscenities about her shameless conduct. How dare she let her purdah slip.
11. At the slightest protest make her carry 100 buckets of water from the village well to home. That will show her not to revolt.
12. Do not allow her to eat with the rest of the family. She should eat after everyone is fed. That will ensure that her status is no higher than the servants.
13. If she still protests, force her to serve her husband lunch in the shop and treat her like a lowly servant.
14. Slap and beat the bahus at the slightest provocation. If by chance you are reported to the police for your illegal conduct, torture them for the rest of your life.
15. Display all the gifts received by the bahu in her marriage and then taunt her about carrying books.
16. Ensure she understands that books and education are the most evil things in life.
17. Make it clear that her role is to cook, sweep, clean and please the mother inlaw during the day and at night be available for sex for the husband. Anything more than that makes a bahu evil and unfit.
18. Drill into her that she needs to have a baby within 9 months of marriage. After all that is the purpose of sex, it has nothing to do with love and respect.
19. And God forbid if she is unable to cook- that transgression is a ground for instant removal from the house.
20. Worse still is that she may be more educated than your son- that certainly is the ground for removal from the house.
21. If you come to know that your bahu has got the third rank in the University- you MUST and absolutely MUST shout and scream at the press and torture and humiliate not only the bahu but every member of her family.
22. You must make her pack and carry her suitcase, bag, six boxes of jewellery, and shoes around her neck and summarily throw her out of the house, specailly if she is a young 22 year old with no parents. Throw her out in the streets without a rupee in her hand.
23. And if by chance she does not leave- then make her life a living hell.
24. Throw her to the wolves by ensuring she is humiliated by every member of your own and extended family.
25. Force her to wear the purdah even if it has been declared illegal by law.
26. If she is caught in the arms of her husband, even if by accident, then make her spend the night in the cowshed in the coldest winter.
27. If your bahu saves a girl of your family from being rejected by her in laws, instead of thanking her abuse her and taunt her for her evil cleverness and allege that she is a scheming witch.
28. If she suggests that the family should use a dust bin instead of throwing rubbish on the streets, accuse her of being an interfering nag and heap some more abuse on her.
29. If she is to be felicitated for her achievment of 3rd rank, then DO NOT let her go. Curse her and her family for educating her.
30. Even if she succeeds in the challenges set by you, tell her that she has cheated and manipulated the situation by evil ways.
31. Make sure your son never opens his mouth to support his wife.
32. If a piece of jewellery is misplaced, instead of investigating accuse the bahu of stealing
33. When she brings you written evidence, ignore it and insist that it is fabricated evidence.
34. Then summon her brother or family and humiliate them and accuse them of theft and schemes.
35. When your own son lies about money and buys a laptop, blame it all on the bahu. She is after all no more than a punch bag.
36. When your own daughter tells lies about her exam results, praise her and abuse the bahu for being jealous.
37. When your son is caught red handed with the lap top, ignore the matter.
38. Snoop around to see whether or not your bahus are using contraceptives. If you find that they do, thrash them. Even if the goverment and the doctors advice on birth control.
39. Snoop around to see whether or not your sons are having sex.
40. If you find out that they are not, blame the evil bahu.
41. Lay a trap for and make sure you confront the bahu in front of the entire family including the father in law and question your bahu about her sex life. Every shred of dignity has to be stripped off.
42. The taunt her every day about not sleeping with her son.
43. Then get your son to take over the torturing of his wife.
44. When the bahu's family send gifts on a festival, like cheap people put them on display for the neighbourhood (even if they do not display their gifts).
45. Taunt the bahu over small things like broken ladoo boxes and tags on sarees.
46. If the saree is cheap then taunt her about the cheapness, if it is expensive taunt them as show offs. And that too in public.
47. If the bahu suggests that laws should be followed such as not bribing police or government officials or wearing helmet for safety, abuse her in front of the entire household.
48. If by mistake she has cooked bad food (and you know she cannot cook) then once again abuse her in front of the entire family.
49. Heap more humiliation on her by forcing her to compete in a cooking competition.
50. If she is scared or hesitant to sleep with you then show her your manhood by forcing her to.
Thank you DABH.
Hindi TV Shows
Bindi
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Jodha Akbar
