A leaf from Suraj's diary ...
Dear Sandhya ji,
The day you walked into my life, you took my breath away, my heart skipped a beat, and my dream came true. Our relationship extends far beyond what time or space can constrain - that's the beauty of it, almost like a miracle. Our love is and will always be childlike innocent, impulsive, naive and eternally hopeful.
Today when I look back I am immensely proud of all the things you did, your righteousness, your boldness and your true inner beauty - its sparkling. You fought and fatigued at times and I allowed you to rest in me. I want to thank you for allowing me to work through you to help you perform whatever felt difficult for you. I am boundless energy for the littlest things when it comes to you.
I hope one day you will realize how deeply engraved you are in my heart. I remember the first time you smiled - it was a fleeting moment of perfect bliss. I truly relish your smile!
The one thing I can't stand is the pain in those pearly beautiful eyes of yours, the helplessness in your words - it rips a piece of my heart out. And when I saw those divorce papers my mind froze, I wasn't able to complete a thought. It pained me, I have to admit I was totally devastated and destroyed. Initially I could not understand Why? What? How? When? We have been fighting against all odds for what? But gradually I came to terms with it and decided it's time to set you free.
With the divorce papers staring at me, I have realized that sooner to later the day will come when you will leave - my house, me I myself, my world. Though we shall continue to explore who we are and where we belong, you will always be on my mind and I will always carry all you have taught me in my heart.
I know as a matter of fact that you will never leave this house at own will and that I will never be able to utter those words in my lifetime.
I figured my dryness and my rudeness will eventually drive you away from me. As the skies unleashed the rage the leaves stripped off the branches of trees by the gust of lashing winds – it turned my world upside down my eyes flooded and my heart ached as I mocked you, I humiliated you and your family in front of everyone. I hope you will forgive me one day!
I respect you tremendously and I wanted everyone to witness that I have wronged you in this relationship; I want everyone to believe you left me because I ill-treated you. I want all fingers to point at me and never at you. I would lay my life down to protect you for any harm. I love you unconditionally always!
Yours always
Suraj
Indian Idol 15
