Posted:
Characters:
Armaan Mallik - Araam haraam
Ridhima Modi - Rascala dhobhi
Sidhant Modi - Santa dhobhi
Shilpa Malhotra - S. Murder ho tera
LOVE STINKS - Pyaar se badboo aati hai.
'Hey bhagwaan, main kya karoon?', thought Rascala to herself as she sat in her room, 'ek taraf santa hai, jo mujhse itna pyaar karta hai, aur ek taraf araam hai, joh bhi mujhse pyaar karta hai. kise chunu?'
Suddenly, rascala got an idea. She decided to write down the pros and cons of each man on a paper, evaluate all points and then make an informed decision. She wiped the tears off her cheeks and got hold of a paper and a pen.
SANTA DHOBHI
pros:
1) rich
2) rich
3) rich
4) VERY rich
5) 2 BHK apartment
6) BMW gaadi
7) mere PMS tantrums tolerate karta hai
8) RICH!
cons:
1) not hot
2) doesn't know how to seduce
3) abs bhi nahi hai
4) has never dropped the towel infront of me
5) can't grab me like a doll
ARAAM HARAAM
pros:
1) hot. hot. hot.
2) VERY HOT
3) 6 pack abs
4) kya seduce karta hai boss!
5) shirt, pant, towel, baniyaan - sab kuchh utar sakta hai
6) grabs me like a rag dol! smexy.
cons:
1) not rich
2) not rich
3) not rich
4) not rich
5) NOT RICH!!
6) no BMW
7) khatara phatphatiya
8) no 2 BHK flat
9) vagabond
10) struck by mental illness twive. phirse paagal ho gaya toh?
She finished writing, analysed the list for a long while, I think I've included pretty much everything, and then kept it down with a sigh, 'lagta hai, mujhe mera jeevan saathi mil chuka hai'
_________________________
Araam entered the locker room and saw Santa. He looked away, not being able to look at his lover's husband for even a split second, and continued to walk. Santa saw him enter and asked, 'Tumhe kya lagta hai? rascala kise chunegi?'
At that, Araam's temper suddenly rose, 'tumhe kya lagta hai?! obviously mujhe chunegi! tujh mein hai hi kya? mere paas hot body hai, abs hain, looks hain, suzuki hayabusa hai. Tere paas kya hai?'
Santa lowered his eyes and took a step back. After a few seconds, he looked up, and with tears in his eyes, he said, 'Mere paas....swiss bank account mein, 200 million pound hain'
Araam's ears hiked at that, 'kya?! tere paas 200 million pound hain?'
Santa nodded meekly. Suddenly, Araam took a step towards him, held his hands, and then slowly said, 'Santa, kya tu mujhse shaadi karega?'
Santa, who was still tearful, looked at him with a shocked expression, 'kya?'
Araam took another step towards him, 'Haan, santa. Main tujhse, bahut, bahut, bahut mohabbat karta hoon'
At that moment, a hysterical Rascala strode into the locker room with bloodshot eyes, 'Maine apna faisla kar liya hai!'
'Bhaad mein jaa!', yelled Araam, 'ab yahaan teri zaroorat kisi ko nahi hai'
Rascala was taken aback, 'yeh tum kya bakwaas kar rahe ho, Araam?'
'Sach keh raha hoon main! maine tumse ek sach chhupaya, rascala', he started talking, 'main tumhe bas isiliye pata raha tha taaki main santa ke kareeb aa sakoon. Main usse bahut pyaar karta hoon, aur ab hum dono shaadi kar rahein hain'
Rascala could not believe her ears, she put a hand over her mouth and shook her head, 'you ******d! tumne meri zindagi haraam kar di, aur ab kehte ho ki tumhe meri zaroorat nahi?!'
Araam smirked, 'isiliye toh mera naam Araam haraam hai'
At that moment, santa interjected, 'Araam, main tujhse shaadi nahi kar sakta'
Araam looked at him, 'Santa, tu chinta mat kar. Tera divorce mein yoon chutkiyon mein karwa doonga'
Santa shook his head, 'Nahi, woh baat nahi hai', a small pause, 'maine tum sab se ek important baat chhupaayi hai. Meri ek aur biwi hai. S. murder ho tera'
Both Araam and Rascala felt the ground vanish beneath them. S. murder ho tera entered the locker room with a smile on her face. When she noticed everyone's somber expressions, she realized that santa that told them the truth. She decided to come clean too.
'Santa, jab tumne saara sach bata hi diya hai, toh main bhi ek sach batana chahti hoon. Meri shaadi bhale hi tumse hui ho, lekin araam se milne ke baad, main usse pyaar karne lagi hoon'
Santa was hit by a ton of bricks. Both his wives had cheated on him. He felt like a piece of shit.
Everyone was shocked, angry, sad and dissappointed. A minute later, however, a person entered the locker room. Everyone looked up to see who it was.
'Hello everyone! Mera naam gadhima hai, aur main Dr. shashank ki teesri..' she thought for a while, 'nahi, chauthi beti hoon, yahaan ki nai intern' then she looked at rascala, 'aur haan, rascala di, mujhe dr. shashank ne aapko yeh batane ke liye kaha tha ki woh yeh hospital mere naam karne waale hain. sirf mere'
Araam and santa looked at each other and smirked. They both had the same thought, love stinks, but if I get sanjeevani in the bargain, then hell, I'd walk through shit.
As both men started walking towards the new gal, S. Murder ho tera and Rascala were left thinking about how to murder gadhima.
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