Commitment: A Lost Virtue - Page 12

Originally posted by: zainab25

I have to come back to this topic, because I am just that much passionate about it. 😆 Why, thank you! Yea, some over here may call me old fashioned and conservative, but if that is it, then I am. Yes, I am conservative and old fashioned because I was taught to value trust and loyalty, and that defines me. I am a modern thinker, but know where my boundaries lie, and do value culture and old school thoughts to certain extent. It just gets to me why TRUST and COMMITMENT (terms known to mankind perhaps even more before love) is just given a cold shoulder now a days. Love is vital, but does that mean we betray trust and overlook our priorities? Beautifully said! I sincerely mean it - when people on here (I certainly pray with my heart it doesn't happen) are betrayed or their trust is taken advantage of, then I'd ask them their views regarding extramarital affairs, and deserting your prior commitments only because your first love is in front of you.

Marry means 'trust' and I am not bluffing. The term marry in the Victorian era was common and exchanged between both genders, because it's as simple on the outside as it's on the inside. Marriage in our society still to a large extent means trust, and I just want a sensible justification from the creatives this time around if they want to continue portraying a broken marriage.

Thank God my mother is unaware of this forum, because she literally would have suffered a heart ache after reading a few posts on here, and that to by women justifying acts that at the end harms them.

Originally posted by: Cookies01

And THAT is the reason why marriage is called a commitment. Because a commitment is based not on feelings (which are fleeting, restless, and ever changing) but instead, it's an agreement, a pledge, a promise to fulfill a certain goal, to achieve a desired result, to turn a dream into a reality. Ur very right but you have to take into consideration that Riddhima entered this marriage out of helplessness...as did Sid...no such promises were made when they got married.......she was devastated and therefore even though she felt she could no longer be happy.....she married anyway so that atleast her parents can be happy........

however now the situation is different....knowing her true love is out there she can never be truly and neither would Sid because he would also know this....

now would any parent be happy knowing their child is living their life as a compromise when there is someone out there that could truly make her happy...


Imagine if marriages were based on feelings alone? Everyone on the planet would be divorced! It is not humanly possible to feel love for your spouse every single second of every single day. There are times when you will be so pissed off you'll want to murder the person you're married to! And I'm sure those on this forum that are married can attest to this. The younger members have a very fairytale, Bollywoodish, and unrealistic understanding of love and marriage. In marraiges, you have good times and bad times, but it is your commitment, your belief in the institution, your promise to the person, to knowing that what you have build together is priceless, sacred, and worth all the trials and tribulations that time may put you through that motivates you to move forward when you'd rather quit and walk away.

Yes again that is also true but marriage occurs as a result of mutual consent and as I have mentioned before,Riddhima and Sid married out of helplessness...Even when Armaan was around they had their ups and down but at the end of the day they loved each so even if they hurt, angered or irritated the hell out of each other which happened plenty of time....their love was strong and therefore pulled them through every tough situation they faced......but sid and ridz don't have a strong secure love base for a marriage......it's just a compromise!!!!!


And I am NOT saying that Riddhima should stay in a marriage just for the sake of the institution. But I'm sure everyone who has been watching DMG saw the phone conversation between Naina and Riddhima where she says "I may just end up falling in love with Sid." And before Armaan comes back, Riddhima seems happy with the decision she has made to give Sid a chance, to give her married life a chance.


at the time there was no Armaan to contend with.....Sid and Riz were obviously becoming good FRIENDS...and the love she felt for him was far different than the one she feels for Armaan....and now that Armaan is back deep down Ridz knows that even if she leads a happy life with Sid...she can lead a even happier one with Armaan...i mean just look at all the stuff the guy has done for...ok so at times he made some stupid decisions like leaving her....but he did it for her own good....and im preity sure no matter how angry he is with her he would never ask her to clean his shoes....as some *ahem* once did....


Someone on this forum very aptly said that whether 1910 or 2010, values are values. I understand that everyone has different values but tell me ladies, would you go for a guy who based his decision on his feelings or someone who followed through with their commitments? What's the guarantee someone who does only what they feel like will stick around, will not cheat when they see someone attractive?


But Armaan is not like that he would never do that ....of course he is commited to Ridz, therefore for her own good he left her thinking she will have a better life without him...*although that was the wrong thing to do*......and besides if Sid was committed he would have fought for his marriage instead of telling Ridz to be Armaan's wife....who does that in real life!!!!! Neither Sid nor Ridz are committed to this marriage...bad circunstances forced them into it and their only still in it because of their cultural norms .......




What exactly, as fans of this show, are we advocating for the sake of seeing certain couples together? Yes, it's JUST a show. But (as a psychology student) beliefs are formed by repetitions, not logic! This is the reason why a young mind repeatedly shown an advertisement about how cool Nike shoes are will want a pair!

I truly wonder, what kind of a message this show is sending to young, impressionable minds about the meaning of love, commitment, and marriage. I hope the CV's know what they are doing. If they are going to break a marriage, please do it for the right reasons!


lol...again true...I to am a psychology student so...*hi5*....anywayz...another message that would be sent out if sid and ridz stay married is that.....instead fo fighting for ur TRUE happiness...u should accept the situation and settle for a marriage out of helplessness....compromises are made in life...but some compromises don't ever lead to true happiness....wots the point of living life if you can't be happy....Armaan is not a bad guy that will treat ridz badly....his a great guy and will treat her right...and Ridz will be much more happy with him.....

and besides if ridz and sid still stay in the marriage...ridz will live with the knowledge that there is someone out there that loves her more than life itself....she will also comapre sid to Armaan no matter how much she tries to avoid doing so......hmmmmm that a marriage won't with such thoughts flitting around....infact it will be a very unfufilling marriage....


Sometimes, the things we hold on to as if our life depended on them are the very things we need to let go of to begin life again. And sometimes we have to let go of something good, to find something great.


But that to is a fantasy as it doesn't always work out like that in real life.....sometimes if you let go of something good...then you either live a shadow of life with second best....or screw both ur life and the life of your partner...staying in a marriage because that's viewed as the best thing to do and due to norms is not *most of the time*......sometimes you have fight hard for your happiness and the great things in life....no matter how tough or impossible the situation seems....

and Armaan and Riddima are soulmates they meant for each other...and if destiny seperated them ...then it will also unite them...I just hope it sooner rather than later.....if sid and ridz stay married and three individuals will lead very unfulfilling lives.....and im sure there's some1 out there for sid...but its not ridz......

Damn all this analysis just for a drama...I hope i can keep this up during my exams...😆

Love,
Yaz
😎

Originally posted by: pakindmuziq

Very well written and well said. But not many will understand the post. Specially coz nowadays ppl think marriage is for fun, get a devorce whn evr u want and find another man/woman.

I myself have stopped watching DMG, but i agree wth evrything u said. Also in serials devorce have become such a small thing. I marriage life shud be given a chance, ridz was already falling for Sid, wthin 2 weeks. Wht if she gave him chance for a month, she wud have been sooooooooooo in love wth him. I remember this Sidma scene where Sid had to leave ridz home and then Sid asked darr to nahi lage ga, ridz said to her self "ab nahi lage ga", she evn said "aap mujhe ache lagne lage hai", IN 2-3 freaking weeks. This marriage life cud have worked, as sid is in love wth her and Ridz is falling in love wth Sid and ofcourse loves Armaan, first love can't be forgotten, but u can fal in love twice.

Since ppl r saying SidMa shud get devorce, it's the right thing to do, well then falling in love once again isn't a wrong thing either. If Ridz really didnt like Sid she WUD nvr evr have said all those stuff, evn try to make him happy and all.

Originally posted by: yasu09

PS: interesting post......

and i just wanted to add one more thing.....

If Riddima truly believes she can lead a happy life with Sid .... that she can love him as a wife loves a husband ... .and that the memory of Armaan won't affect this relationship from becoming a fufilling and happy one ....

then although it pains me to say it ..... ..... *actually i won't say it .... .im sure u figured it out anyways.....😛*.....