26/2 - Sid-Riddz Angst: Fury makes us unreasonable - Page 2

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TheBlackJaguar thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#11

Originally posted by: sidsk

I think the reason we really take out our anger at others is that deep down we want someone to understand what we are going through.We hurt them the same way we were hurt to show them exactly how it feels...of course this isn't justified but its human nature.

Point. We want others to feel exactly what we are feeling. And it holds true for both happiness and fury. We have this urge to EXPRESS and just get it out.


Like you I am also going to take Sid and Ridzie's example......The emotions Ridz went through when she thought Armaan had left her because of that accident are the same what Sid is going through now because of her suicide attempt - rejection and humiliation.

You are right. Just like Riddz was wreaking havoc everywhere , Sid is doing the same --- desperately finding a vent to release his pent up fury and the reason for his hurt and anger is in front of him all the time - Riddhima.

And I can relate to these emotions very well because I have experienced them and because of that I have been rude to people who didnt even deserve it...now that I think back on it, I feel so ashamed of myself.
But that's the thing......when you are so deeply hurt or angry,you cant see logic or sense.You just want to lash out at anything or anyone so that the pain inside you stops....what we dont realise is that we are causing even more damage.

Awwwww... sending a bear hug your way....🤗

Btw great post.😳

supercool3 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#12
hmm ... anger is just a very strong emotion which at times could realli take full control of u...
for example, i'm also very short-tempered and there had been several times when i had hurt the ppl around me...
but afterwards, happenin
the thing is tht ... when some1 is hurt they sorta lose control of what they r doing ... the onli thing u realize is tht since u r crying inside, the one tht hurt u should also be crying ... it takes a while for tht sort of temper to be overcome... but once u do overcome ... it can realli make u feel soo low for the way u acted...
as for me ... i try my best to not lose my cool, but at times things just get the worst of me...but im still workin on it😊
shanti05 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#13
I think anger is there within us and we will reach its peak sometime and then it decreases and we get back to our self form..
To Err is human and to forgive is divine so we will forgive and forget sometime and the anger cannot override our forgiveness or calmness !
4rosegirl1 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#14
sid probbly skipped kindergarden class where it sai ,"use ur words not hands"
TheBlackJaguar thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#15

Originally posted by: 4rosegirl1

sid probbly skipped kindergarden class where it sai ,"use ur words not hands"



Yes, yes. The same classes that Riddhima also skipped with him and that resulted in back-to-back to slaps for more than a week of meeting Sid.

P.S- The post is NOT about Sid-Riddz. Please read the post carefully.

TheBlackJaguar thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#16

Originally posted by: supercool3

hmm ... anger is just a very strong emotion which at times could realli take full control of u...

for example, i'm also very short-tempered and there had been several times when i had hurt the ppl around me...
but afterwards, happenin
the thing is tht ... when some1 is hurt they sorta lose control of what they r doing ... the onli thing u realize is tht since u r crying inside, the one tht hurt u should also be crying ... it takes a while for tht sort of temper to be overcome... but once u do overcome ... it can realli make u feel soo low for the way u acted...
as for me ... i try my best to not lose my cool, but at times things just get the worst of me...but im still workin on it😊



Very well-said. We can actually go low when we are angry or hurt. It is this typical human impulse and human instinct to cause hurt just because you are hurt. It is unreasonable and insensitive but i guess that is how most of us human-beings are manufactured.
ash08 thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#17
Nitzy, 🤗

You know I have always wondered about this too..... Whenever a person is angry, it is because there is some truth in what the other person has said, or the circumstances are not the way we wanted it to be. If the anger is directed towards a person, it is because we are on the defensive. We know that a part of what the other person is saying or doing is the truth, is right and we try to defend our actions by getting angry or frustrated or irritated. Sometimes our anger is also directed at a person who is conducive to the circumstances which we are surrounded by. When things dont happen the way we want it to, we tend to get angry. And if the result of these circumstances is a relationship or a association with another person, then we tend to blame them for everything and direct our anger towards them.

I guess anger is the result of not getting what you want, or things not happening like you want it to or somebody pointing out to you that you are wrong. Sometimes it also appears as a result of people not understanding who you are and having wrong perceptions about you. It is a defense mechanism which one incorporates to make them feel better - not it any way bothering to feel or even think what the person the anger is directed to is going through.

I was short-tempered too.... that was a long time ago. Marriage and motherhood and I guess growing up has mellowed me a lot. But whenever I look back to those days, I guess all one had to do was to provoke me just a little bit and I would just blast off. 😆 People would call it arrogance but I would call it self-respect.😆😆

Did I made any sense or am I boring you?

Love,
Ash
nyctophilia thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#18
nitzy a very interesting post n nice topic...dear its the human tendency to give one on one wen somethin like this happens..we find very rare ppl these dayz who forgive n forget...we can call it ego toooo or term it as self respect tooo....u knw nitzy m very hot headed n wen things dont go my way i just start cribbin but then i try to control my anger...wen someone tries testing my patience i try my best to avoid the situation or rather leave from there but wen the limits r crossed i just give the individual the peice of my mind i try not being rude,all depends on the situation n sometyms mood also playz a very important role in it...Or i wait for the right oppurtunity to get back to him but in a polite n civil manner..not wid a motive of takin revenge but it cums to me naturally..i dont insult or humiliate the other person i wud rather prefer to mend my wayz..i think wat is the difference btwn me n the other person if i humiliate or insult him or her..i knw my limits n wont stoop down very low for the revenge bit..i dont like to create chaos n fights or have issues for long tym...i just stay away from the particular individual n try to ignore the person...coz from wat i think we shud make out the best of our life n holdin grudges against anyone for whole lyf dsnt go wid me.my mantra is to move on in lyf live n let others live with peace n happiness.....😃 😃 😃

god bless ya dear n keep smilin alwayz 🤗
Edited by kritishah3 - 15 years ago
adoremevirgo thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#19

Anger is the worst enemy of man. Loosing temper brings out the worst in us….and learning to control temper is the best virtue to hold.

I, for one tend to loose temper at drop of a hat. but, I don't believe in revenges.

That said….i must also include that I hv never been in sid's shoes. Never in my life I hv been humiliated beyond endurance….so I am noone to say what I wud hv done if I wud hv been in sid's position.

but, no way I think revenge is any solution. If a dog bites, we cant bite it back…not only because we will catch infection….also because there must be some difference between dog and man….by that I mean there must be some difference between good and bad.

But at the same time we r humans and we do not hv God-like endurance power. Ridz used to treat sid worse than dirt….in that case it is very difficult to forgive and let go. Bruised ego is very dangerous….its like stepping on the tail of a scorpion ….u cant avoid the bite now.

So, what I feel is do not hurt anyone….then there will be no question of revenge….as simple as that. Otherwise every action has its reaction….u cant persistently hurt someone and expect not being hurt back.

Finally, as they say TIME HEALS. With passage of time every man learns to forgive even if he cant forget….that is because old wounds heal but scars remain.

Sofna thumbnail
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Posted: 15 years ago
#20
Hey Nitz.....Awsom anger management course you've started here...😆😆
I'm a VERY quiet person by nature. I avoid negativity to the best of my abilities. But as they say 'opposites attract' the more I stay away the more it surrounds me!!😡
Prior to marriage no matter how much a person, screamed, lashed out or mocked me, I always remained quiet. I never reacted even if they were clearly wrong and i was right, as they were my elders!! I'm one of those people who will bear the pain but cannot wilfully shame someone else publicly!! I'v always lived by the motto 'Do as you would be done by'!!!
And if i recieved hurtful words from a friend then I first asked myself how much importance do i give this friendship, n this person mean to me, after coming to a conclusion I would act accordingly!
I have always wanted that whether I'm right/wrong to never stoop lower than the other person just to get my own back!!!
Experience has shown me many times that what 'goes around really does come around '. In many circumstances I have returned many people's accusation, words of humiliation, RESPECTFULLY at them without anyone not misunderstanding the dig!!!
Although ther's no pleasure in it, nor can it erase the pain of that moment............I guess when people are angry they always aim for the easiest target to vent their frustration on!!!
But Post marriage I've done a role reversal 😆. I have become so short tempered!!! My daughter really does test the level of my patience to the hilt 😆😆. No one can get away with saying ANYTHING to me without a response flying back at them before they have even finished!!!! I scream, I scream so loud my head starts throbbing!!
I guess I can picture myself in Sid!!!! 🤣🤣🤣

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