Parvati disengaged herself form him. She was still looking down- and yet- she did not remove her hands from his waist.
She was looking down- not wanting to break the intimacy the embrace had given them. She was looking down- reveling in the magic of the moment when he had held her close. She was continuing to look down- simply because she was too bashful to look up.
It was easier- she felt- to look at his feet - which had been her guide and refuge. If she had looked up, she would have seen how his face radiated the happiness in his heart.
But she continued to look down, wanting this moment of blessedness to linger on. If this was the result of her penance, she acknowledged shyly and silently, it was worth every bit of it.
At length she looked up and asked ever so hesitantly, "Lord, may I ask you something?"
Shiva looked into her large and beautiful eyes, smiled and nodded "What is it dearest?"
"Lord, earlier on, you asked me what you meant to me. Can I now know, what I mean to you?" lowering her head once again.
"You are to me..." began Shiva spontaneously, pressing her head to his chest, but paused and began grinning, as a wicked thought struck him.
Faking a sigh, he said "Parvati... I know what you want to hear from me... But I am afraid I cannot satisfy your desire. For me, all devotes are the same. I do not favour one over the other. Nandi, my faithful servant had served with devotion for so many years. There have been others too, who have done penance for years, hoping to please me. I do acknowledge that you too have undergone severe difficulties... that's why I have accepted you as my wife... but..."
Parvati's heart nearly stopped on hearing Shiva's grave voice.
Suppressing his grin, and continuing in his grave voice Shiva continued "...but do not ever think, you deserve something more from me just because you are my wife.."
A lump rose in Parvati;s throat. She tried to control the tears that were forming at the corner of her eyes. She rubbed the ground beneath her, with her toe nails.
Oh how could it be, she thought. He had equated her with his devotees? Didn't she as his wife deserve the loving attentions and ministrations of a husband? Did all her tapas lead to this?
Tears began flowing from her eyes and fell on his feet. Shiva felt a twinge of guilt. He was not prepared for an abhisheka of tears - that too his dear wife's.
He could feel her body stiffen. Parvati composed herself.
Very well, she thought. If he had relegated her to a devotee, so be it. After all, he was her araadhya, and whatever he decreed would have to be accepted by her. During her long and arduous penance she had sought nothing from him- only offered herself. He had accepted her. SHe should have been satisfied. It would take a lifetime - several lifetimes- for her to express her gratitude.
Parvati wiped her eyes and and resolved that she would never ask anything again- only offer her love and gratitude to her Lord.
Holding her in his arms, Shiva could read her thoughts as clearly as a book. He marveled at her innocence, at her faith in him and her surrender. He was only pulling her leg, but she had taken his words seriously.
He felt his heart yielding to the purity and piety of the woman who was offering him her all and yet demanding nothing in return. His heart brimming with emotion, he caressed her head which was still leaning on his chest.
He held her chin and tilting her face up, wiped her tears. Looking deep into her eyes, he said in a low voice "Parvati...you are the fragrance in the flower, warmth in the sunshine, the lustre in the moon beam. Amidst the ice and snow, Parvati, I too had become cold and austere. You brought the spring in my life. Your love and surrender melted me."
Respectfully, she lowered her gaze. Shiva continued "Do not ask what you mean to me, Parvati. You are a part of me."
Once again, beneath the moonlight, under the starry sky, he enclosed his arms around her and brought her close to him. He felt all his reserve give way as he lost himself in the magic of the moment . Overwhelmed, she let his entire being pervade her.
Purusha had surrendered to Prakriti.
Edited by varaali - 12 years ago
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