Love Vs Fate... FF (chptr 28 pg 146 - Page 4

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puggyy thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#31
Wow nice... Kids story? U mentioned uv is 8 and manyatha is 4 ...k I think u will show a leap
In ur first chapter I guess...love n fate means. ? Sad love story? Or all mix? Pls manyatha b at palace only...no kidnapping scene ... u told they r BETHRONED n again ur telling fate will get them together ...k will wait for ur first chapter
Edited by puggyy - 12 years ago
snowdream thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#32

Originally posted by: puggyy

Wow nice... Kids story? U mentioned uv is 8 and manyatha is 4 ...k I think u will show a leap

In ur first chapter I guess...love n fate means. ? Sad love story? Or all mix? Pls manyatha b at palace only...no kidnapping scene ...

fate will bring them together dear...In MKD i showed a full on romance from childhood...this will be an adolescent love story...and as in all my works i will make J a good sister bcoz she is good as a positive character...It a sad-happy mix story...u'll see everything...
WhatTheF thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#33
nice CS...sooo...proloueg me jis ka mension kiya tha woh may be J hogi...update soon and do PM me.
Edited by swetsurati - 12 years ago
HunsraJ thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#34

Nice Character-sketch...

After reading the c/s...I went back to the prologue.
Now, I know that the prologue was from Jai's p.o.v.
So, does that mean Manyata is missing from their lives???
Krishna...start it soon,
I'm very anxious to read it!!!
snowdream thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: ...navina...

Nice Character-sketch...

After reading the c/s...I went back to the prologue.
Now, I know that the prologue was from Jai's p.o.v.
So, does that mean Manyata is missing from their lives???
Krishna...start it soon,
I'm very anxious to read it!!!

yup iam writing...if possible i'll update first chapter today...ahhh its not J navi but someone else who is saying...will get to know soon😊
HunsraJ thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: snowdream

yup iam writing...if possible i'll update first chapter today...ahhh its not J navi but someone else who is saying...will get to know soon😊

Krishna...u are killing me with this mystery...I thought I had it figured out!
Anyway, u are gonna update tonight...so I'll try to be patient!!!
I AM SO EXCITED!!!
snowdream thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#37

Originally posted by: ...navina...

Krishna...u are killing me with this mystery...I thought I had it figured out!
Anyway, u are gonna update tonight...so I'll try to be patient!!!
I AM SO EXCITED!!!

yup iam on the way😊
snowdream thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#38
Chapter 1

A month of May''

Komal'komal'.sab log log thaiyyar haina'.

Jee maharaj sablog thaiyyar hain sivvai aapki dono betiyan'.

Manyata sidd karke beti hain ki jabtak Uday nahi aati tab tak woh nahi chalenge aur J ki zidd ye hain ki woh apni jiji ke saat hi chalenge'

Bhaisaab itna hi nahi Vijay bhi keh rahi hain ki who apne behanon ke saat hi chalenge. Ye bacchen toh din be din ziddi hoke jaa rahi hain'

Hone dijiye menaka aakir bacchein hi toh hain..iss umar main zidd nahi karoge toh kab karoge'

Magar maa saheb'.

Brij aapko shayad pata nahi aap aur Menaka bhi ziddi the bacchpan mein'jaise maa baap vaise hi bacchein honge'aap sab log ghadi main jaakar beit jayiye'Giriraj Uday aur Unnati toh lekar aa rahi hain'Bacchen ek saat aa jayenge aur komal menaka aap donon bacchon ke ssat aayiye.

Jee maa saheb both nodded'..

Soon a 8yr boy entered the mahal holding his sister in one hand and a gift box in another.

As soon as he came in all servants greeted him and those who didn't was forced to do so by his strong glare'.

He bended down and took blessings of grandmother Mrinalini Devi'

Dadi saab let me go n convince my Junglee billi'.

Reaching her room'

Hey Junglee billi tum'.B4 completing a pillow came in his direction and shit his face'.A small smile came to her face seeing her pillow hitting the target.

Just missed this time'don't worry I 'll catch it the next time u throw such things at me.

Ahhh Uday aap hamesha aise bolte hain '.

Manyata dad says there is always a next time'.

Matlab'.

Matlab baad mein samjhadenge abhi aap thaiyyar ho jayiye'

Uday ye aapki haat mein kya hain'

Oh ye humme aapkeliye ek gift '

Kisliye'

Thaaki agar aap kabhi bhi ghum ho jaye toh hum aapko jaldi doond paye'

Mera gi'.asked a small j'

Aap jab badi ho jayenge tab hum denge aapko teek hain'.

J smiled'

J ,Vijay aap dono seemaji ke saat jaayiye thaiyyar hone'choti neeche hain'

Soon all children got ready and sat down at car with komal n Menaka'

The journey started off..there were going on vacation to Darjeeling. All were enjoying and manyata was keeping the gift box unwrapped in her hand'

JB aap ye gift khola kyun nahi'.

Uday hum toh bhool hi gayi thi abhi kholenge hum'

Nahi manyata abhi nahi baad main khol lena'..

On reaching Darjeeling all were tired and went to sleep'.Next day morning when Uday woke up he couldn't find manyata'and komal was still sleeping.Uday tried to woke up komal bt she was not responding'.Small Uday ran to his father and Uncle .On getting the news all were panicked'.Guards searched every corner of the hotel to find the small princess bt she was nowhere'along with the princess Guard Murari lal was also missing'

Komal on getting in to senses started crying like anything'.Since it's a royal complaint the investigation was 1000 times quicker .after an hour

Police commissioner: Rajmata Guard Murari Lal has taken away princess Manyata.I don't think he has taken princess for ransom..according to my sources He is a bit psychic since he lost his wife n daughter in an accident'so he took away princess who is of his daughter's age'..

Small Uday shouted'How could u say it so softly'we dnt want reason we want our princess'.Dad pls ask him to bring back my princess..i promise I won't fight with her anymore and won't call her JB bt please ask her to come back dad 'pls his eyes got wet soon and started crying'..Giri hugged him tightly to console his pain but giri himself knew only 1 person can bring back his smile that's manyata'.

Brij: inspector I want my daughter back at any cost'

Comm: yes sir we r searching each n every place at Darjeeling and outgoing vehicles r also being checked. We will find princess'

At highway'Murari was carrying Manyata and asking for lift to each n every vehicle passing..Finally a car stopped.It was a family coming back from trip'A father,mother n two children'.

Murari: saab pls humme railway station chodiye'main aur meri nanni si beti pichle ek ghante se yahan khade rehkar lift maang rahi hoon.abhi tak kisi ghadi ne nahi roka'.pls saabji humme raaste main chodiye pls ab aur iss tand main khade rahoge toh meri bacchi beemar pad jayenge pls saab ji''

The women felt mercy and allowed them to enter the car'The elder daughter of the couple was awoke but the younger one was still sleeping'..On the way'

Women: aapki beti ka naam kya hain'

Jee manya'..he stopped in between agar poori naaam bathaoge toh ye samaj jayenge shayad'. '

Women: accha toh manya naam hain iski'.

Murari: jee madam ji'.

The car was going through a narrow road and it was a fog filled morning'.The man was driving very slowly and carefully but he failed to see a bus coming from other way and soon both collided. The car and the bus both fall off from the cliff. On rolling down both the vehicle blasted''


*********************

Uday(looking at the giftbox kept near manyata's bed): princess aapne humari gift khole bhageir chala gaya...ab hum aapko kaise doond nikhaloge...kaise...he opened the gift box and took a diamond bracelet with letter M...tears was flowing out of his eyes...

...(wiping his tears)...par dad kehte hain there is always a next...i will find u one day princess..i'll...



To be continued...

Guys reached the end...thanks for eeading...don't know hw good it is...hope u like it...do leave back ur comments and hit like if u liked the work😊

Edited by snowdream - 12 years ago
-RK_Ki_Biwi- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#39
RESERVED.
Edited.😊
Amazing update. Beautiful.👏 👏 👏
Story started with MANVEER Childhood.😊 😛
Chotu UV n Manyata was sho cute. UV-M Scene was so sweet, I loved it. ☺️ 🤗
n Choti J when she said, "Mera gi.." OMG She's so small.😳
OMG, Murari kidnapped Manyata but I think he'll die.😳
Poor UV.😒 He was missing his Jungli billi but yeah there is always a next.😉 It's jus starting of the story cos UPDATES ABHI BAKI HAI MERE DOST.😉
Beautifully written. You rocked Jiji. Both FFs are jus awesome, superb.🤗
Thanks for the wonderful update.🤗
Pls, Pls, Pls update ASAP.😊 waiting for the next one.😉
🤗 🤗

Edited by Vasishtha - 12 years ago
HunsraJ thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#40
Cute ...& sad update. I felt so sorry for Uday...
(obviously...I'll only feel sorry for him😆)
...Manyata didn't open his gift...SHAME!!!
I still have many questions:
...but, here's what I predict...
Murari dies in that accident,
the family that had given them a lift...will adopt Manyata.
The prologue is the pov of 1 of those 2 children...I THINK!!!
Anyway...thanx for keeping your promise of updating tonight.
Continue soon.
Edited by ...navina... - 12 years ago

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