ItsAllGood thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#1
Hi everyone...!!😊
I am...well someone from this world. I have been an Ardent follower of this show and i have been following all of u people's comments and ideas! However i never had the courage to come forward and join this website! 😆 But Uday gave me the courage...😳
Okay this is my very first OS. i hope u enjoy it...and ur comments and criticisms are necessary!
REGRET

Manyata was sitting inside the garden lawn beside the freshly planted flowers. The same flowers that she and Mali-kaka had planted the other day playfully, enjoying every moment. The garden that was so beautiful and decked with so many beautiful flowers, flowers that were the rarest and costliest, from all over the world, somehow seemed very lonely today, somewhat incomplete. There was no Maali-kaka today, here to chit-chat with her and tell her beautiful stories about the flowers in the garden. No Maali-kaka to make her happy, to cheer her up...
She looked around the garden with moist eyes. The birds, the butterflies and the bees all continued to play but everyone seemed to miss Maali-kaka. The cold breeze continued to blow and filled the garden with the melancholy in Manyata's heart...
Inside the palace, Uday, Brijrai and Giriraj were enjoying drinks and discussing their business deals. Uday sat afar watching his dad and uncle Giriraj play chess and discussing deals. He seemed uninterested in their discussion. His rashes were much better now, almost gone...more so, he was feeling at ease inside for defeating Manyata. "Finally" he mused, lost in his thoughts, an evil and confident smirk spread across his face. He had never felt so proud before. To him half the battle was already won! "Manyata is broken completely...", he thought, still smiling, a smile that said, "it's my victory...Princess!"
Manyata kept remembering those brief moments she spent with Maali-kaka. Tears rolled down her cheek slowly... "It's all my fault!" she regretted, she regretted the fact that she acted so impulsively, without thinking for a moment about the consequences. She still couldn't accept the fact that Uday would go to such an extent to win the War. She didn't use Mali-kaka in their fight; never had she wanted him to get involved in their fights. It somehow led to that.
"Rai ka pahar banane ka koi bhi mauka nahin chordthe yeh Rajwade,", she fumed, "Kameena Uday, Kameenon ka sardaar, saale ke paas dil hai hi nahi!"
Every way she tried to bring justice to Mali-kaka, was in vain, Uday came to spoil her plan and ruin her attempts.
"Haalkat, veda, suvar kahin ka!", she kept cursing.
The tears were uncontrollable now, she started to sob, "What shoud I do? Forgive me Mali-kaka, I am sorry". She felt pained inside, she remembered Mataji's stern words',"Ab aapki yehi saja hai ki aap zindagi bhar is ahsaas ke saath jeeye ke aap ki wajah se kisi bekasoor ki naukri gayi" She sobbed harder...
DaadiSaab paced in her room, pondering over the recent events. "Manyata...", she thought, "She stood up for that poor man, she stood up for justice... she isn't afraid of anyone when it comes to bringing justice to people..." She looked back to the events of the day, Manyata's words, her fiery and feisty stance, and her absolute resolved face, stood out. It somehow had impressed her in the entire fiasco. As if she wasn't thinking of anything else, she was completely determined...Yes! That determination to go to any extent to achieve what she wants...Daadi Saab was really impressed at Manyata. It reminded her own self. It was like she was looking at her own reflection. That same determination and sense of justice she had as a girl...
Daadisaab sat down on the bed and looked outside the window and sighed,
"Manyata aap mein ek Maharani ban ne ka woh saari kabilyat to hai,...par who thaharav nahi..."
It was already evening. UdayVeer decided he should pay a visit to his dearest Manyata and see her sorry face. It would be fun to taunt her now. "Ghayal Sherni...", he mused, "you will probably curse me with a 100 slang, call me names, throw stuff, but Princess I won this time!" He walked along the corridor towards her room...
"hi Princess! Toh kaisi lagi humari Maat?..."
He stopped abruptly. She wasn't in the room; where was she? Probably here and there mopping ... 'let her be' he thought , 'she needs some time, ...after all ti must have been quite painful...", he left with a tender yet amused smirk.
He was on his way back, and decide to join hid dad and uncle Brij for chess.
"Uday beta!", he heard Komal Aunty call after him. He turned to greet her, "Hi Komal Aunty!"
"Hello beta!", she wished back but she looked worried, she continued, "you came from Manyata's room, isn't it? Is she there?"
"Yes I came from her room but she wasn't there..."
"What?"Komal cut him short, "Where is she then? I asked everyone but of them had seen her since the breakfast! Where could she be? Its getting cold outside and u know how careless she is. She just got well from a fever..."
"Aunty don't worry , I'll go search for her..." Uday assured her and left.
"Yeh Manyata ab kahan chali gayi?" he thought, a little worried this time. He went from room to room, searching for her, "Manyata...Manyata...", he called out. Now he was beginning to get worried. Did she runaway again! No that can't be! She said she wouldn't runaway anymore, she had accepted this as her own place. He assured himself, she must be here somewhere ...just too ashamed of her behavior to face anyone or mopping.
"Kisey dhundh rahe ho tum Uday, ...I guess ...Humein!" J called out a little expectantly.
Uday rolled his eyes but turned around and faced her with a smile.
"Hi Beautiful! Tumhari adat abhi bhi gayi nahin...humesha apne bare mein sochna...kuchh to Manayata se sikho!", he taunted her with his silky smooth voice.
"Oh come on Uday! Don't tell me tum uss 'ayah' ko dhundh rahe ho! That girl gave you so much pain in the last few days, you are still pining for her?" she moved close to him'.and put her hands on his chest and whispered, "Don't you see me? Hum uss gawarni se haar department mein agey hain..." she looked deep into his eyes...seductively. She slowly put her hands on his chest.
Uday looked into her eyes flirtingly and slowly put his hands on hers...grabbed her hands and slowly pulled them down from his chest. A disappointed look crossed J's face...but instantly vanished as Uday caressed his hands along J's arms...and grabbed her shoulders...and looked flirtingly into her eyes, then his eyes softly grazed her face and was fixated on her lips. J was excited, "How long could you resist my charms Uday?" she thought triumphantly. She looked seductively at his face...but Uday had other plans! His sexy smile turned into and amused one and he slowly pushed her away from him.
"I have to go find Manyata, your elder sister, and if you remember...my fiance...so excuse me...hmn!" he put his hand on her cheek and patted it softly.
He turned around and started walking. His amused smile turned into an worried look instantly...
J called out behind him..."Uday! Tum uss 'jungli' ke liye itna worried ho..aur who shayad kisi kone mein baith kar apne uss Mali-kaka ko yaad kar rahi hogi'!" She gritted her teeth when speaking the last few words.
Uday stopped... "Ah! That's right! She must be in the garden!", he thought. That confident smile came back on his face, and he turned to answer J,
"Thanks a lot J, tumne humara kaam asan kar diya!"and he hurried away.
J looked on, jealousy boiling in her veins.
Uday reached the garden...it was already evening and it was dark outside. He called out for the guards, and asked them if they had seen Manyata around here. The guard confirmed, "Yes sir, I saw her sitting beside those newly planted shrubs when I came back after the usual round but she was already gone..."
"Gone?! You din't report it! Why?" retorted Uday.
"Sir I thought she must have gone inside after my insistence..."
Uday looked at him now irritated and angry. "It's useless to scold them!", he thought, "it wasn't his mistake!"
"Go search that side, I'll go search this side ...and notify the others!"
He started walking without wasting any time, now he was genuinely worried. "did she run away again?" he thought, "no it can't be!" Something told him she was near him...he just needed to find her. It's like the old times when they played hide and seek'he always had the premonition where ever she hid and how well she hid, he always found her...
He reached the newly planted patch...and remembered that day's events, how Manyata had tricked him! And he had played his 'Tat' well for her 'Tit'. Somehow he felt a little regret for what he did. "Where are you Manyata?"
"Haachhi!"
Uday stood frozen... "Manyata!" he called out. There was no reply. The sound seemed to come from the other side! He ran towards that direction..."Manayata!" he called out again. Again no reply. He reached the big tree in the garden and called her name yet again...but this time there was a reply...
"haaachhhiii"
Uday a little taken aback at this sudden sneeze and looked up...the sound seemed to come from the tree... "Wait a moment! Are you up There? Manyata?!!"
M:Main yahan hun yah aur koi aur jagah isse tujhe kya...
U:isse humein farak parta hai Princess...udhar aunty aapke liye pareshan horahi hai, aap rukiyein hum ladder mangwatein hain...
M:Koi zarurat nahi hain main khud hi utar sakti hun...!tu sirf dafa hoja!!!
U:Chale jayengey princess ekbaar aapko aapke room tak chor dein!
M:Saala! Kameena! Mujhe akele rahene de!
U:Princess kya aap chahtein hain ke iss garden ki guards bhi apni naukri se haath dho baithein? Nahin na? toh neeche ajayiyen!
Manyata was silent. She felt the pain again. No she didn't want anyone else to loose their jobs. She sighed and started to climb down.
Uday Veer seemed a little worried..."Aap rukiyen Princess, main aapke liye ladder mangwata hun!" but it was too late she already climbed down and jumped last step! He was impressed! "This girl never fails to surprise me!" he thought.
"Haachhii!"
"Manyata, you are sneezing! Lets hurry inside before you catch cold again!" Uday said.
Manyata was irritated. "You don't have to think about me! This is my punishment! To suffer because of you!"
Uday thought for a moment...then he smiled to himself. This might be a good chance!
"Okay Princess I have a deal for you...listen carefully!" He looked into her angry eyes...

__________________________________________________________________

I look forward to your comments I hope you enjoyed it. and if you liked it hit the 'like' button below.😊

Happy Makar Sankranti!😉
Edited by ItsAllGood - 13 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

21

Views

9.1k

Users

18

Likes

71

Frequent Posters

ItsAllGood thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#2
sorry looks like there are some punctuation errors...
Its because i copied it from a word document...please consider it.
I'll edit it as soon as i get time!😳
WinterFire thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#3
i really like it... write more plz 😊
salekh1 thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#4
REALLY WELL WRITTEN aMAZINGGG STORY LINE
please pleasse continue soon
pleasE PM is possible
Pleasee continuee thank you😃😛
ItsAllGood thumbnail
Posted: 13 years ago
#5
Thank u everyone your comments are really very encouraging! Thank u for reading it!😊

As soon as i think of a new plot i'll write another OS!😆
sourmisery thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 13 years ago
#6
WOW! This was really good! I can't believe that I actually rolled my eyes at the Uday-J scene :P It seemed so real! You did amazing justice to the characters. The ManVeer interactions were superb! Loved it! Keep writing!
Add123 thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
#7
Aww, tht was sooo cute !! :)
I to feel bad for the poor Mali Kaka, he was innocent !
Awesome OS, do continue it :D
And plz add me to ur PM list ;) thnx !
..Ananya.. thumbnail
15th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 13 years ago
#8

This OS was damn good..The characterisation and the unfolding of events were bang on..:) :)

arryline thumbnail
14th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 13 years ago
#9
Fabulous writing👏.You captured the right emotions of all the characters⭐️
Badtameez_Dil thumbnail
17th Anniversary Thumbnail Trailblazer Thumbnail + 5
Posted: 13 years ago
#10
hi welcome to forum!!

u did a blasting entry with fab OS
very sweettt...pleaure to read ...& dialagues was so apt with the char... felt very much real👏
keep writing!!!!

Related Topics

Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".