Originally posted by: return_to_hades
1) Pick one and say why. Even if you hate both options, pick your poison!
Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez: Selena Gomez. She's cute and the lesser bitch of the two.
Miley Cyrus Twerking or Nicky Minaj Twerking: Milry Cyrus twerking. Watching a white girl try to pop&lock her booty is hella more entertaining.
Glitter and Jizz at K$ha's party or meat dresses at Gaga's party: Glitter and Jizz at ke$ha. Cause we know there will be hidden treats hidden among the glitter and jizz.
Being locked in a room with Birdie or Being locked in a room with King Anu: Birdie. It's probably the end of me, might as well go out with a bang. Figuratively, of course. 😆
Royal Baby or Northwest: Royal Baby. Northwest is destined to be a screwup with her parents and the Kardash Klan. It's always fun watching the prissy and proper royals make a fool out of themselves.
#Sharknado or #SirSirJadeja: Sharknado. If people would stop and imagine what would happen if all sea creatures came onto land, they wouldn't think it's so ridiculous.
Rehab with Amanda Bynes or Rehab with Lindsay Lohan: Amanda Bynes. Lindsay Lohan is just a druggie with a habit she can't knock. Bynes I think is actually insane.
Naya Rivera or Heather Morris: Naya Rivera. Looks nice she has them fake boobs. Girls with the bigger boobs have more fun, as per Sofia V. I like fun. 😆
JDJ or DWTS: JDJ, a lot more laughs. I've seen a episode here and there of both. DWTS actually seems like they know what they are doing. Did anyone see Drashti's "parrot" theme on JDJ? LOL. 😆
NFL or NBA: NBA. I wish I was a baller.
2) Do you know the story of Bling Ring? If not Google it! You seem to like high fashion, so ' would you ever create A Bling Ring? Would you if you had some super power assurance that you wouldn't get caught? Hypothetically assuming you create a ring - Whose houses would you rob ' and what would you steal from them (Pick 5 celebrities and 5 Members). Who would your ring consist of ' pick your crew from members?
😆 my shameless browsing of TMZ kept me in the loop about this. I would absolutely create a bling ring, have you seen some of the walk in closets these people have?
Bling Ring Pact:
Mr.Ass-For mooning anyone that might get close, creating a distraction.
Birdie: keep post with his AKs
Omni: Plan the entire thing. Find out some secret passage ways.
Cherie: Second opinion on what to steal. Taste matters.
PrimaaDonna: Cheerleader.
Celeb Targets:
Birdman: He bought a Maybach for 8 million, that has something like 700 horsepower. Crazy. Might need big guns for this heist.
Victoria Beckham: Just...everything. I would also steal a glance at that David.
Scott Disick: His crazy Rolex collection. I like watches.
Justin Bieber: Those diamond encrusted chains he wears. He's a skinny kid from Canada, he has no cred to be wearing such things and they should be confiscated.
Derek Jeter: Some classic Yankees memorabilia. Like baseball he hit his 3000th basehit with.
IF Targets:
Cherie: I would rob her just go be in the same room as her.
FT: Passport/identity card. I really need to check what year he was born in.
Vintage: That wine he was talking about, that I think refills. Sounds like an elixir of sorts.
charminggenie: Her genie. She has been charmed enough.
Tanni: Another Batman nerd like me.I would take all her Batman stuff.
3) Vladimir Putin is divorcing his wife of 30 years for irreconcilable differences. Imagine you are Onion. Right an outrageous article on the reasons. This is Onion. Go CRAZY!
Another Pooch Screwed!
Are you ready for another bit of saucy love news from Russia? Latest news reports say Vladimir Putin, the piece of porked KGB ass, is going through a beautiful divorce from his wife of too many god damn years. Yes people, that stiff as a statue Lyudmila is still alive and been letting husband dearest hit it for the past three decades.
Are you ready for this Russian shit that I can smell all the way here sitting in America? Rumormongers claim Putin was found on all four knees having his world rocked by what many would consider their best friend-the family pooch, or as the Putin's call him MeztiDrug. Wait, what? Did we just say Putin wasn't screwing the pooch figuratively, but getting screwed by the pooch literally? Damn straight we did. Who did you think the bitch was in this picture-Putin or MeztiDrug? The doggie date was going great until the maid saw what we assume was a pretty scary shadow being cast on hall walls. Picture this-walking up the stairs and seeing what looks like a poor attempt at the bat-signal. No masked hero this time folks, just another Russian getting screwed over. Let's all wait with bated breath for the autobiography, My Journey To Dogsex.
Are you as surprised as we are? When in the history of all that is holy has any politician ever had some grimy story to hide. We hope you found yourself as happy as we are knowing that there is at least one person who is more f**ked up than we are. Sorry Russia, no love this time.
And here's to hoping I don't get banned for this one.
4) Now you are an Iranian journalist who thinks the Onion article is 100% true. Write an article on the article to republish it in Iranian press. Remember this article has to be kosher or rather halal. So you need to embellish, censor and create creative euphemisms for anything nasty you thought off.
A New Love Blooming in Russia
It seems Russian President Putin's intent to engage in nuclear talks is taking on a much deeper meaning than we thought. Latest reports confirmed by tier one American news source, The Onion, state the Putin household is facing an explosion of nuclear proportions in regards to the first couple and their much loved animal friends.
According to our sources, Putin has been engaging in unholy and unclean acts that can only be condemned by all that is chaste. What name can we give to a man who leads. The wife, who has been getting abused compliments of Putin's hard hitting ways, has called it quits on the marriage after the family's help pawed her way to the discovery.
Alright you DMians, I've hit a writer's block at this point. I don't know how to carry this forward and it's nearing 4 in the morning, so time out. 😆
5) Pick 10 IF members are suggest some creative twitter handles for them.
charminggenie: @rubbed_right
RTH: @TartarusTitan
Vintage: @Pickled_StairMaster
CM: @ PardonMyBalls
FT: @Extrinsic_Axiomatic
LeadNitrate: @AngelicAcid
Boreddamsel: @FreekALeek
Birdie: @ImSoBrooklyn
Krystalwatz: @HereKittyKitty
K.Universe: @ Existential_Crisis
6) Who on this forum would you Shag/Marry/Bury/Kiss/Dance with/Run away from ' and why
Shag: You, as in RTH. If I ever turn the bi-curious leaf, I think she would be outgoing and willing to get down. Plus some other reasoning that will get censored on IF so let's not go there.
Marry: TheBoss. I'm pretty sure I met all his criteria, and even better he met mine of being an asshole. They are just more fun to make putty out of.
Bury: Bury alive..pretty evil of you. ikeelyou though. I'm sure he would get out and return in some other avatar anyway. Maybe the time spent buried will help him reevaluate somethings.
Kiss: Prometues. He sounds deprived. Humanitarian work on my part.
Dance with: Vintage.wine-drunk dancing can be interesting, especially when it becomes various forms of dance. Cha cha slide, macarena, tango etc etc
Run away from: RTH-Not ready to turn that leaf yet man.
7) If I am Sofia Vergara shooting bullets from my bra, who is the member who can shoot bullets from his crotch?
Not applicable. Let's be real, we know these guy are shooting blanks with the way they misfire.
8) Write a brief compare and contrast between Pride & Prejudice and IPKMKND
Careful RTH...do you want the Austenites mob after you? Such blasphemy is punishable by death in some places.
PP and IPK similarities: Rich guy, working class girl. Arrogant rude guy, friendly nice girl. Guy insults girl, girl gives it back to him for some time.
PP and IPK differences: PP guy realizes his feelings, his mistakes and tries to better himself. IPK guy realizes his feelings, his mistakes and forces the girl into a contract marriage. That's the spicy desi twist for you, keeps things interesting doesn't it.
9) If you were to have nine lives on IF ' what would you rename your lives?
DDluver4lyfe: This would be my fangirl avatar. My signature would be "DD or bust"
LuvingU143: This would be me pretending to be a guy and flirting with girls in broken English. My signature would be "Dil4Dosti"
LadyMarmalade: This would be my flirty girl avatar. My signature would be "how many licks"
Que.Pasa: This would be crazy, too excited, popular avatar. My signature would be "The Party has arrived"
ProfoundAesthetics: This would be my phony intellectual avatar. My signature would be "You are misinformed"
rideORdieBITCH: This would be my aggressive, in your face avatar. Someone who picks fights for no reason. My signature would be "Come at me Bro"
Sunshinegurl69: This would be my so called shy girl avatar, who would address everyone with ji and never curse. My signature would be " am blushing ji"
MourningWould: Another flirty guy avatar, with some serious game this time though. My signature would be "Pantie Dropper"
Echelon: This would be the reincarnation of McNinja. My signature would be "Veni. Vidi. Vici".
10) Which future MOTW do you look forward to and why?
CM. Let's put Queen of Sarcasm and Queen of Comedy to work.
Indias Got Talent 11
Cricket
Anupamaa
