Why 'Declare Publicly' that you're gay?

It should be up to the person to declare it or not. No one should pressure the other without knowing all the circumstance. The Bollywood forum is more of a fun forum so you should not take it that seriously.

Originally posted by: Beyond_the_Veil

It should be up to the person to declare it or not. No one should pressure the other without knowing all the circumstance. The Bollywood forum is more of a fun forum so you should not take it that seriously.

I agree with you totally.

It's the choice of the individual. Not everyone has the chance or the circumstance to come out publicly. And as people tell me sometimes, you don't just come out once. You have to come out all the time, even if you do it publicly. So "coming out" isn't one epic event that then alters the rest of your life the way it is portrayed in North American popular culture (involving white people, mostly).

I also don't really like the word 'coming out' much. Straights don't have to come out, so why gays? I understand the meaning and intent behind the word wasn't anything negative, but still...

Originally posted by: Beyond_the_Veil

I also don't really like the word 'coming out' much. Straights don't have to come out, so why gays? I understand the meaning and intent behind the word wasn't anything negative, but still...

Because being queer is a very different experience than being straight. Nobody questions your sexual orientation when you are straight. People on internet forums don't argue about whether you are natural or not. Nobody tries to "cure" you of your straightness. People don't express fear, disappointment, shame, and disgust at an integral part of your being.

Also because being "straight" is normative - it is not supposed to be an announcement because everyone assumes heterosexuality unless they have reason to question that assumption. 90% of love songs are about straight love, not queer love. Images of love and sex predominantly revolve around idealized heterosexual experiences. A friend recently had a baby and someone joked that the boy is going to grow up and have lots of girlfriends. Only some of us in the room balked at that. Others went on like it was fine. People assume heterosexuality as a default.

That's why "coming out" can be a meaningful experience for some, though not everyone may choose to do it publicly. It can be an empowering act - even if you are just coming out to yourself - of self-acceptance and pride at not having to hide who you are.

Regardless of whether straight people "like" the terminology, it's important to recognize that queer people own and use certain language to empower themselves and their communities. For too long, queer issues have been dominated by what straight people find acceptable. It's time for queers to make their own decisions about what is acceptable.

In an ideal world it shouldn't matter if you are gay, straight or bi. No one should have to "come out" and declare a sexual preference. All relationships should be normal and acceptable. Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world. There are two reasons why "coming out" is significant.

In our current world being gay is considered "different". Young people who realize they are gay discover that their attraction isn't the norm. They feel overwhelmed when everyone asks them hetero-normative questions about crushes, dating, prom etc. Many experience fear and apprehension how their friends and family will react. Hence "coming out" is a rite of passage. It is a moment when the person accepts who they are and is comfortable with it. It is a moment when they have the strength to be who they are in society. Socially for everyone involved "coming out" can be the moment when you assure each other that it is not "different" but completely "normal" and "acceptable". Hopefully, sometime in the future, this rite of passage becomes unnecessary.

The reason behind pushing celebrities to come out is because people in the limelight tend to be influencers and role models. It serves a dual purpose. It helps breaks some stereotypes that are built around gay people. It also can give strength and confidence to youth who are bullied or contemplating coming out. When men like Neil Patrick Harris & Matt Bomer came out, it changed many misconceptions about gay men being effeminate, unmanly, flamboyant etc. Despite being gay they are intelligent, funny, stylish men both straight and gay men aspire to be like. The whole "It gets Better" Project where many celebrities and lay people came out and shared their coming out experiences was so crucial because it offered a counterattack to the bullying epidemic. So coming out is a means of breaking stereotypes and passing on courage, wisdom, strength to the next generation who may be afraid. Again, I hope that sometime in the future, this is unnecessary as both stereotyping and bullying fade away.

In the end though, it is a personal choice. No one should feel compelled to come out and share their experience. It is highly disrespectful and unfair the way we tend to force people to come out. The most disgusting thing is the sneak attack type outing that tabloids and gossip columnists to – like they did with George Michael. Jodie Foster's speech at the Golden Globe awards was EPIC in how it addressed this issue of privacy and personal life.

Originally posted by: --arti--

Because being queer is a very different experience than being straight. Nobody questions your sexual orientation when you are straight. People on internet forums don't argue about whether you are natural or not. Nobody tries to "cure" you of your straightness. People don't express fear, disappointment, shame, and disgust at an integral part of your being.

Also because being "straight" is normative - it is not supposed to be an announcement because everyone assumes heterosexuality unless they have reason to question that assumption. 90% of love songs are about straight love, not queer love. Images of love and sex predominantly revolve around idealized heterosexual experiences. A friend recently had a baby and someone joked that the boy is going to grow up and have lots of girlfriends. Only some of us in the room balked at that. Others went on like it was fine. People assume heterosexuality as a default.

That's why "coming out" can be a meaningful experience for some, though not everyone may choose to do it publicly. It can be an empowering act - even if you are just coming out to yourself - of self-acceptance and pride at not having to hide who you are.

Regardless of whether straight people "like" the terminology, it's important to recognize that queer people own and use certain language to empower themselves and their communities. For too long, queer issues have been dominated by what straight people find acceptable. It's time for queers to make their own decisions about what is acceptable.

They must declare it. We have to stop these bloody fellows and throw them out of the country so they do not ruin the Indian culture.