Goals?

Originally posted by: mr.ass

thank god, I thought it was a stupid football topic 😛

Originally posted by: mr.ass

Hi clodpod, long time since I have seen such an interesting topic. :) Heck, with all the wh**ehouse ads on this forum it's the only topic :P

Ha ha. The mods have been kept interested!

Anyway, let me speak about a recent experience of mine involving goal setting.

As some of you may know, I am pursuing my CA course and most recently I wrote the entrance test, ie the CPT aka common proficiency test.

I had made a plan to study 3 months before my exam. But and the end of it all, I had only been able to study one and a half months before it.

Let me examine the reasons why I strayed from my plan:
1. The portions were so simple I didn't feel challenged nor interested.
2.It had been such a long time since I studied so it was difficult for me to get back into study mode.
3. I had lots of distractions.

So I guess you need to really want to do it, or have something that makes you wanna do it, and you must be free from distractions. :)

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil

I'm sorry it has been unrewarding for you... but, dont give up.

I am ,also, a believer in the powers of persistence.

OK, so, where do i start? I have a goal.. in my life. I do think if I cannot achieve it, my life would end. And, it hasnt been a pleasant experience so far, there are times when I cry and feel hopeless when I fail to re-collect, when i waste too much time etc.

Is your aim Civils too?

#1 --

#2 --

#3 --

#4 --

...Mindbender, yes, there are sooo many things that distracts me, but, I am doing something these days while getting carried away is... STOP. Step back, think, I ask myself - is it anyway going to help me achieve my goal? *obviously not* 😳 ..chalo, get back to your book 🤓

Have you read any books on goal setting/self development? If not, I am just convinced yet again that if a person has a goal in mind, he automatically does everything that these books prescribe. If yes, then you are implementing everything next to perfectly, really! All your points (above and below ) point towards an unwavering focus as regards the academic front.

Mindbender, because IDK what exactly might be swaying you, I'd like to add something that commonly sways everyone of our age, which has "swayed" me and ruined my mental health and screwed up my prep last year... I dont believe in friendships, nor do I trust anyone, nor am I interested in friending anyone, ofcourse I believe in being warm, friendly..just no attachments as I trust no one, so, as you can see, I dont and never want to get distracted in matters of personal relations. No phones, no messages, no hangouts, no nothing! And when I'm in college, I mostly spend time at library if no classes are going on.. all these are actually helping me, as I wasnt like this last year and my preparation was POOR comparatively.

Why do you trust no one? Is it inherent or because it was broken?
Same question with regards social life (no phones, hangouts, etc). You've never had a very active social life? Or you had an active social life, and you quit?
If you find any question too personal, just ignore it and I'll understand. My intention while asking these questions is simply to understand more of where you are coming from. I always have a craving for understanding the context.

What I have observed thus far is that your reference throughout has been towards only academic goals. Its like, even among various goals, you have focused upon only one type of goal. But with me, this model doesn't work so well. I am quite convinced that study, while being an important part of life, is not the only part. I have goals in various areas of life, be it academic of course as well as personal development, social, etc. This is not to criticise you or to say that I am right and you are wrong; just giving you a peek of where I come from.

Swaying with the wind... is not for me, although I am by nature very easy-going, but I have tuned myself like I said...swaying wont get me anywhere I'd like. My goal is my only wish...which'll make my other list of wishes come true 😆 and it's the question of my life, I cannot do nakhre here :P ..just 3-4 years of commitment, once i reach my goal, I'll do so much nakhre then, sky's the limit after that 😆

That's the whole point you know. I have an issue- I don't get motivated by thinking that if only I study for say so and so time I'll have my future in place, which will be secure and I'll lead a happily ever after life. It is ingrained in me presently that security is a myth. Change is the only thing that is constant and hence looking for security is actually prone to disaster.
Why do we have these goals after all? To achieve success in life, right? But money, fame, etc just don't seem to be able to have enough an influence on me. To me, everyone who gives his 100% in whatever he does is successful, simply because it means you have that calmness of mind and also giving your best implies you are improving everyday. By everyone, I really do mean everyone- be it a sweeper, farmer or businessman.

Now, IDK if my approach to my preparation is the best, but I do believe in it as I dont think my devotion and commitment can be questioned. I have to be more focussed and leave I-F, hmmm.

The pros and cons are for you to decide. :)

I am so sorry for such a long post... 😳 hope my post wasnt boring :(

Anything but! It is always a delight to read insightful posts.

I just wanna say, a goal without a plan is just a wish..

Originally posted by: Mindbender

Originally posted by: mr.ass

you said it. and whenever I have free time, all my favorite shows would have ended, all my friends will be busy, won't feel like reading books. 😆

Originally posted by: Angel-likeDevil

Mindbender, I hope I am not writing too much.. :( ...i just want to make myself clear to your questions. :):)

I like reading. :)

Why do you trust no one? Is it inherent or because it was broken? ..I trusted few people, and, IDK.. my trust for everyone except my parents, has ceased after being down for 1-2 months last year.. nothing BAD happened, but I'd say my EQ is fragile, and I have to find a way to keep myself happy, so I decided to put a full-stop to "frienships" :)

Same question with regards social life (no phones, hangouts, etc). You've never had a very active social life? Or you had an active social life, and you quit? IDK what exactly "social" means, but I'll try answering..I was never too social , friendly, yes.. but wasnt into socializing much, although I'd text few friends, hangout etc. I had a small circle of friends(7-9 people) and would be "social" with them. And now, I am just friendly face-to-face, it's my nature, I cant help it when someone approaches me. I have two "best friends", I admit, I cannot stop caring about 'em, however, I dont trust them or expect anything from them too. In short, I dont phone/hangout/gossip with anyone.. I do spend/waste loads of time going out, "hanging out", talking with amma-papa if that counts?

Plus, ever since I became serious, I find everything a waste of time.. if it is no way going to help me for my prep, or, personal dev or sth related to my mom-dad, I find everything a waste of time.. although sometimes I succumb to certain things like I-F, shopping, good novels 😡

I like the way how you observe yourself. Your choices seem to be conscious indeed (as you said you don't sway with the wind), so I am sure you are a great learner (not speaking academically).

Personal development -- It's as equally as important as my prep for civils is. I read books, novels regularly...not the soppy waste-of-time ones, but good ones that enrich my general knowledge, even the ones that teach about life(like Anna Karenina, Notes From Underground, The Fifth Horseman etc) . And, yes, I wanna improve in my attitude towards life, in my way of thinking, my sense in fashion(yes 😆), looking at things, my health and, my communication skills especially! I'm poor in vocabulary, no wonder I write such long posts :( ...and all i can say is, I'm still on the lowest rung and I'm working on it. But somehow, GS, newspapers, magazines are taking top-most priority, in other words, dominate my goals in general.

It is indeed nice to know that . Personal development, I think, can count as a very good hobby too.

Socialising -- I'm sorry, but I dont see what I'd get from it. :( ..maybe it's because of my EQ level. IDK..
Social goals don't necessarily mean socialising. They might mean the exact vice versa. 😆

it's empowering, when I learn about different things everyday. And, these days, I am finding some sort of THRILL 😆 😳 ..The happyness, feeling of empowerment - after finsihing off with sth, i find it thrilling while waiting for a few days before the new fresh magazines are realeased in the market every month😆 and equally thrilling when I do test papers, and all... preparation isnt bad once you get engrossed in it. Bottomline to my motivation is I enjoy and love what I read, I love being occupied, and this is the best thing I can think of, not only does it help me professionally, but on personal front too, and dunno why, I feel secure when I read... not just academics, good books in general.

You know what, maybe my fragile EQ and the sadness and hurt I felt last year, also ignite the passion in me, because anytime when I remember those "bad" days and feel blue, hurt, I read more, i swear... I go mad and concentrate a loottt more than I usualy do. I'm still new to all this(just 6 months whilst being completely new to prep), and I have a long way to go..

I have nothing to add really. Just keep it up!

(That thrill is all that I am chasing I think. It struck a chord.)

PS - Security is definately a myth, but, it's real at the same time too 😛
Is it me speaking? :P

..it's a myth because, no one, no where can be secure, anything can happen any minute. I hope this is what you meant.

Yup, that's the essence.