Bend it like Beckham

I was just watching Bend it like Beckham on tv and i saw that her parents let her go to america to play soccer. I just think that would never happen in real life for a desi girl. Our parents love us too much to let us do that, it might be something we love so much but they would always think of what society would say about us and who would want a daughter in law who played soccer. I am having a hard time letting my mother to allow me to goo to out of state college. I dont think that what they showed in that movie would happen. what do u guys think.

Originally posted by: innocent_devil

I am sorry i dont agree with you. Why shouldnt she go to US and play soccer. Why shouldnt she follow and achieve her goals and dreams. Is a woman just a puppet, who will do whatever her MOM or DAD say just because the society will laugh at you. No!! A woman too has her own rights. The parents will send their sons to other countries but never a daughter. WHY???? Is a woman just supposed to sit home and ccok food for her in laws. I dont think so. But if that is so, then a woman getting married is a SHAME.

Sweetie I am in no way or form against women's rights. I am probably the biggest feminist of everyone i know. I was talking about the reality of things, not the way they should be. In an ideal world our parents would treat us equally as their sons, but it is not an ideal world. In a desi world girls and boys have different rules and standards. I am sorry if you didn't know that already and this is news to you, but honey things aren't fair. It is different for girls and guys. I was asking about the reality of it all, wud her parents really have let her go, rather than should her parents have let her go. There is major difference. Again i am not talking about what should be, i am talking about what is. And you can't deny the pressure that society puts on people, as much as we would all like to. I deal with it everyday, i dont care about what people think of me but my parents do and since i love my parents i have to deal with not being open about a lot of things i.e feminism and wanting to go to an out of state school.

P.S- i supported her decision to follow her dreams. because she had the courage to fight for her dreams. No a woman is not a puppet, she should follow her dreams, she should have rights and she should live her life. No a woman is not supposed to just cook and clean and have kids. Women should have the freedom to determine the course of their lives, just like men do. I just wanted to know if the movie was realistic.

HI Again,
If your parents really care about your goals!(I am not talking about YOU , i am talking about the WHOLE LOT...please dont get offended!) They will send you out to play soccer or outside the country. If the parents are open - minded they wont care what the society says. You CAN deny the society pressures. But you should have the guts. There are many families out there with sons who wont care if your daughter went out of the country as long as she has a clean mind.

PS: I know what and how the society pressurizes on you and i ahve expierenced it, but since my parents didnt care they (SOCIETY) couldnt affect me so much! 😃

Originally posted by: innocent_devil

HI Again,
If your parents really care about your goals!(I am not talking about YOU , i am talking about the WHOLE LOT...please dont get offended!) They will send you out to play soccer or outside the country. If the parents are open - minded they wont care what the society says. You CAN deny the society pressures. But you should have the guts. There are many families out there with sons who wont care if your daughter went out of the country as long as she has a clean mind.

PS: I know what and how the society pressurizes on you and i ahve expierenced it, but since my parents didnt care they (SOCIETY) couldnt affect me so much! 😃

This isn't just about me but about everyone in general. My mom will treat me as she treats my bro but other people wont. When my bro stays out late it'll be ok but when i do i will be called a wh*re. If my brother goes to an out of state school he's just getting an education but if i go people will say things like i am alone over there, so i am probably sleeping around and stuff and that would be painful for my parents. Our parents r not the problem (usually) society is. Ur (not urs general) parents could be the most open minded people in the world but they wudn't want people saying bad stuff about u. They wud care about their daughter's reputation and the thing about our culture is that it is only the daughter's rep that matters. a son can do anything and it wont matter, but with daughters it matters. I feel that most people would be so worried about what people wud say about their daughter that they might not let her follow her dreams. Even in that they r not doing it because they dont love u, they r doing it because they want wats best for u. I know they dont always know wat's best, but they try to do the best they can and save u from how horrible and vicious some people can be in our culture.

U know ... when u accomplish something for which the society/people constantly try to pull ur leg by opening their big mouths, BELIEVE me , this phrase turns into a reality: "Churte suraj k sub poojari hain"!! (i know im being sarcastic.. but this is the fact!)

The point is that in the accomplishment of ur dreams, ur family must be the strongest support system to counter any (yes any sort of) attacks.

I can understand wht u r trying to say mkzara. But if we always take our decisions according to wht the society wants and how to have their stupid attitudes controlled, then how can we achieve wht we wish to do.. Somebody has to take the 1st step.. 😊

Hey Mkzara

I see where you are coming from..It's a sad fact, but many Indian parents don't allow their daughters to go out of their sight. What they showed in BLB, happens at some level. Many Indian parents are not that open minded. First thing they will attack is that "you are a girl and one day you will get married, so you can't pick sports as a career."
As for your parents not letting you go out of the state is a common thing for indian parents. One thing I will tell you though, if you think out of state college will give you a better edge in your caree than going to a local collge, by all means, fight for it. You have to play around the the whole Indian family system. Just apply to outside collges and tell your parents that you didn't get accepted in local colleges. Parents are not that bad. They will understand you. What's your major?

I understand what you are saying, but I don't think its true for everyone. Though I live in the U.S., I am pretty sure I would get to go. In fact, I went to Philadelphia by myself for 10 days and I was only 15! This doesn't mean that my parents are irresponsible, they were giving me a chance to do something! Yes, there are definitely some parents in India who wouldn't let their daughters out. And I don't see what is so bad about playing soccer? I don't think Indians are that old-fashioned that a girl can't go to play sports! I mean lets say they think that no one will want to marry their daughter because she went out to live by herself in the U.S. Well if she went to study, it would show she is well educated, so I don't see the problem any one would have in choosing her as their daughter-in-law.
Good Topic 😊

Originally posted by: wildblossom

I understand what you are saying, but I don't think its true for everyone. Though I live in the U.S., I am pretty sure I would get to go. In fact, I went to Philadelphia by myself for 10 days and I was only 15! This doesn't mean that my parents are irresponsible, they were giving me a chance to do something! Yes, there are definitely some parents in India who wouldn't let their daughters out. And I don't see what is so bad about playing soccer? I don't think Indians are that old-fashioned that a girl can't go to play sports! I mean lets say they think that no one will want to marry their daughter because she went out to live by herself in the U.S. Well if she went to study, it would show she is well educated, so I don't see the problem any one would have in choosing her as their daughter-in-law.
Good Topic 😊

I agree with you. I am fortunate that my parents are very open minded as well. I have been traveling on my own since the age of 13. But I have seen many of my friends strict parents. Let alone traveling outside the state, they weren't even allowed to go out to mall with their friends. I still remember,they used to lie to their parents that they were coming to my house and then we would go to mall from there.

Being involoved in sports has nothing to do with marriage...ofcourse, but there are backward thinking people. I have seen some sad cases here in USA. There was this girl I used to know. She feel in love with this guy. Since her parents didn't let her go anywhere, she could only meet the guy in the temple. Some one caught them talking behind the parking lot...hell...2 weeks later, the girl was married to this 36 years old man. She was only 18.

I guess it depends also on parents and their background as well.