STORY CONTEST - 5 (RESULTS ON PAGE 26) - Page 3

The reviews on prev page are mine...because I am posting anonymous reviews, people think they are someone else's. 😕 I don't know if people have not read it or they don't like what I wrote...only 3 have hit like.

Originally posted by: polly_03

u wrote Bus Hijack 😲??!! i thot dat it was written by visrom !!

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Time for my reviews ... Already quite a few reviews posted which have said it all ... still .. 😛

Story 1 (CID aur Nanhe Detectives)
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The name itself makes us think that the story will show a nice bonding between our officers and kids !! and I liked the way you showed Abhijeet and Imran's bonding 😊 ... We've had a Daya and Nanhe Detectives ... your story in one way gave an Abhijeet and Nanhe Detectives feeling 😛. Now unlike the original you made it quite an action packed one ... I enjoyed reading the action and all that you involved in the episode. One thing which I personally found lacking was 'investigation' ... the way you developed the story suits FW present style of showing action and all perfectly .. (though still they need to work hard to implement a story like this) ... but the main 'investigation' part fell short !! and a special mention to the start ... nice to see you began with a certain flow .. following AKA !! Obviously it hurt to imagine Abhi-Daya injured. Still that was the story's demand so ok 😊 Overall ... after reading this a certain level of replacement to the original has come up ... maybe when I'll think of this case (If I will ... ) .. then more than FW's version I'll imagine your version in my mind !! Good job ... you definitely could have cut down on the length but still that wasn't a hindrance. 😊

Story 2 (Bhutiya Ladki Ka Raaz)
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Firstly I liked the way your story was much more well interpreted and different from FW's style !! Like astonish said ... the original wasn't a dud IMO ... but it definitely needn't an improvement !! More than improvement ... it was nice to see ones own version of it !!! You stuck to the 80% atleast should be original and only the basic plot taken !! Hehee ... seems aajkal IF stories mein rackets ka khulaasa karne ka and all ka season chala hua hai 😆 ... the paper leaking racket Idea was different. Now one thing to mention ... if a story is well written even Sachin can be used well ... your story proved that 😛 I personally never put in the efforts of imagining Sachin enacting while reading a story but this time I did 😆 ... but according to me the show stealer of your story was the forensic part !! It was real forensics .. apart from spraying on a piece of cloth or 24/7 staring into the microscope ... you showed something different and that was commendable !!! After taareefs time for the other side 😉 One thing to mention is that as the story approached the I felt you rushed up. You were in a certain hurry to finish up the story that is what I personally felt. You could've stretched it a little more ... it was bit rushed up and finished of fast. The pace of the story was quick ... you maintained the flow of the story well 😊 In total good job. Better that the original rather I wouldn't like to compare with original ... i liked it a lot as a separate story !! 😊

Story 3 (Maut ka Aashirwaad)
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Good job 😊. Now this case is personally the one I dislike the most for many reasons ... So while reading your story I tried my best not to even let the original come in my mind. Now one thing I liked it your story was that unlike the original one where in the climax CID was lucky to have the criminal surrender you made them catch the culprit properly. I liked this 😊 but where I personally felt the story lacked was in originality !! The basic Idea of the contest was to show the writers own version of the epi ... you did have an own version but I felt many scenes similar to FW's version ... you interpreted them in your style still i found them similar to the original !! Like others my suggestion would also be to try reducing the use of sms lingo 😊

Story 4 (Bhagdad mein Maut Ka Raaz)
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To be frank I read your story first and then the real one's WU 😛 ... I didn't want to read the original one and then allow it to make an impact on the present story !! Ok personally speaking I must say a good job but yet again I personally found it a bit OTT ... some dialogues were not needed. Not that they were not good but yes they'd have made a better impact if I was seeing a bollywood style movie and not CID. The 'drama' factor was a bit too much. It could have certainly been toned down ... and if you had done that your story would have been wow !! Considering the idea of using paint and all ... it was good 😊 ... you stretched it ... at times it's better when one reaches a certain peak ... it's good to end there with a suitable climax .. stretching would make it a bit dragging !! The original first Bomb hoax call scene wasn't actually needed !! You couldv'e made it more interesting by actually bringing in a bomb concept 😊 ... nevertheless really appreciated the forensic scenes. I must say the best part of IF stories are really good forensic scenes !!! I'm sure this writer can do a much much better job ... hoping to read more from you soon 😊

Story 5 (Khatra Chemical Bomb Ka)

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Now the writer has put in quite some effort in the story I must say and it can be seen 😊 . I must say a nice job.Well paced in perfect flow !! The puzzles idea and all was interesting !! Maybe the fact that the original has had such a great impact I felt it's best to read this story as a separate one and not compare to original !! If instead of the criminal giving out clues you made the CID team get hold of him without any it would have been much much more interesting ... nevertheless the attempt made was good 😊 Proper justification to the title has been given. I've always liked stories with puzzles,anagrams etc. so liked this too !! In all you didn't do injustice to the story. A good job.

Story 6 (Daya Ki Dulhann Ka Raaz)

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Good Job. The 'emotional atyachaar' and all was less. Liked that it wasn't a 'naatak' and 'humein sab pehle se patha tha' out here. If in case Daya gets married we all would like to see Abhijeet also become a part of the celebrations so you didn't create a tiff between Daya and Abhijeet making Daya look at the door hoping to see someone come (I felt so bad for Daya in that original scene 😭 ) ... The story rushed up towards the end indicating that the writer was in a hurry to finish it off 😆 liked the beginning duo conversation, it was sweet 😊. Nice one but can be better in terms of pacing and clarification of expression of ideas 😊

Story 7 (Daya Ek Qatil ?)

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People from Chennai !!! Imagine FW adopts this idea ... won't it be a treat to know Daya worked in Chennai ?? 😉. Nothing was a naatak ... everything was happening ... well framed !!! You built the entire first half of the story thrillingly then a certain downfall was seen. The story caught a very fast paced and became rushed up as it reached the end. Nice to see the way you linked everything as you progressed. The CM mission everything was well written. Yes the motive of crime should have been a better one !! Nevertheless ... the whole story was well written ... a little control over the pace and it would've been a perfect product. Good Job 😃

Story 8 (Manav Bomb)

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I personally liked this quite a lot. Really liked the way you developed the whole plot around Dr, Salunkhe.The team distribution,flow of the story, investigation quotient etc. were good 😊. Yet again a rushed up ending ... wished it was more elaborate yet it wasn't a problem 😊 Thank you for doing away with the horrid last scene. Now coming to backdrops ... the ending as I mentioned was rushed up. The kidnappings with Salunkhe being kidnapped then T ... reminded of AC !!! The way CID team concludes that Salunkhe has been kidnapped could've been put in a better way !! A no- confession ending was different 😆

Story 9 (Bus Hijack)

Now I've said about this before saying it again. This is my favorite story from the contest and one of my all time favourite CID stories !! I've become a fan of this writer and I've admitted that openly !! The whole story was well paced,in flow .. well investigated etc etc. Action bhi tha, investigation bhi thi ... so it was a package !!

Thankfully you didn't have any kids being killed ... and all ... that would've been really very harsh !! Surprisingly more than anyone I loved the characterization of Saahil very much. I sympathized with him. It's been ages since we felt bad for any culprit. So that was nice !! I loved the climax ... it was very nice ... this climax is one thing that's going to stay in my mind for a long time to come 😊 The stunts weren't 'for the sake of it' types !! So that was nice too !! Abhijeet the 'sharp shooter' you caught that side well 😊... In between for some moment i found it slightly dragging ... yet as it reached the end you caught the pace again !!! All in all my fav one this was !! Very good job.

Ganesh Utsav
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The writer (according to my guess 😛 ) ... is a very good writer .. and I've always liked this person's works ... but something went wrong in this story !!! Not that it was bad ... it just lacked something !! I missed ACP sir ... badly 😭 ... You kept the story simple and short. It was a rushed up attempt I guess !! The idea was a nice one ... the connection of Ganesh murtis with the crime !!! It was good 😊. The climax was nice 😊 could have been better !! It was a well written one but definitely could have been much much more better ... Good Job !!


In total I must appreciate every single writer for the hardwork they've put in !!! I'm sure this'll be a tough competition !!

I've realised one thing that IFians love to write about social issues and rackets 😆 ... almost every story had a racket or catered to any issue 😆... that's nice ... we people can bring about a change in the society with our stories 😛


And one thing I want to mention ... I loved the way forensics have been used in each and every case !! Forensics are an integral part of CID ... 'real' forensics is something that is really missing in CID nowadays which I'm getting to read here .. that take me back to the good old bald Salunkhe forensic days !!! So a special appreciation for that !! All the best everyone ... jo bhi jeetein ... I appreciate everyone for doing a really good job !!! It's anytime easier to write anything new that to change something that's written !! Nice case choices and a really good work !! 😃 😃

Originally posted by: visrom

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😆😆😆 but y ?? 😕😆
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Originally posted by: visrom

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Why sad Vis... ?????
Is my story that bad that you dont want your name to be associated with it??? 😕
Hum dono ke likhne ka style shayad ek jaisa hai... Manjeera water may be 😛

Yeah Manjeera water maybe but I take it in a diff way.;-(

I noticed that many felt that my story was short! Actually it was 20 pages long and I thought u all may get bored so decided to wind up quickly. Also I was out of town and hadnt finished even on the last day so hurried up. My story had no connection to the original except the title but I think I didnt break any rules. One person feels there was no investigation in my story! Do all of u feel so? I need to know ur opinion on this.