AYLS CC: Phoenix Feathers - Page 41

I love him even after all what he did. Cuz I understand him! I might not agree with everything he did. But I do get it. And that's the reason why I can't hate him, for what he did. I'm not even upset. He might have overreacted a bit, but Mer hurt him really much. He did that trial only for her. He was scared to death, he told that the Chief, after all they went through he wld loose her to Alzheimers in the end. It was his only hope of saving his wife, the woman he loves so much. But she decided to tamper his trial, she decided it on her own. She tried to hide it from him. And even after Der asked her, no actually he begged her to tell him what she did so he might be able to help her, she refused to tell him. That wasn't only thoughtless of Mer, she also showed him that she didn't trust him with everything. Mer sld have known that the truth wld be revealed this way or another way, but it wld be revealed in the end. But still she didn't tell him. Der must have felt kinda betrayed by her. And Mer didn't make it better, when she told him that she wld do it again. Making a mistake is okay, when you learn from it. But refusing to see the consequences is bad. Der doesn't blame her for trying to help the ppl she loves. But he blames her for not thinking about the consequences. Good intentions are not enough when in the end everything is much worse.

And in the SP she did it again. Der asked her to do nothing about Janet. But Again she acted without thinking about the consequences. I don't wanna blame Mer now for trying to run with Zola, hell I wld do the same, if I was afraid of someone taking my child away. But Der knew she might do something like this, he knows her.

So, Der might have been nicer to Mer at the end of the SP if not for the thing with Zola. But what Mer did reminded him of why he was so upset about her in the first place. That was the reason why he just went off. He cldn't comfort Mer in that situation. He hurt too much himself. And MD didn't have anyone else they cld have blame for losing Zola in that moment, only themselves. How can you comfort someone when you blame not even the other person but yourself too?

And lets not forget, Der isn't perfect. He never was and he never will be. To be honest, if Der was flawless, he wld be one of the least interesting characters ever. It was always about his flaws and will always be. Since the very beginning he made mistakes. That is Der, he has his flaws and Mer has her own flaws. Both make each other perfect, but alone they are incomplete.

And please ppl, pay attention to not only what Der is saying or not saying. Look at his body language, his eyes. Everything screams he is still so much in love with Mer, but at the same time still so hurt. He lost his hope for saving the love of his life, just in one blink. He has to get his feelings and thoughts clear first. What happened was really big for him, it was world crashing for him, it wasn't only Mer crashing his car or something. It needs time to get the head clear again after this. Give him a break.

And to make another point clear. Der didn't leave Mer behind! What wld he leave her behind with? He didn't kick her out of her house. He didn't let her alone with Zola. He just didn't talk much to her. How is that leaving her behind?

And building the house is for me one of the biggest signs that he didn't gave up on them. For him his land and the house are a symbole for Mer. Remember when he wanted to sell the land in S4? That was when he lost hope to ever be with Mer again. He didn't give up on Mer. He is just upset, and hell he has a right to. He was so surprised when Mer suggested that he cld raise Zola alone. He never even came to such an option. As I see it, for him it's still both of them, he even called her his wife.

That are some reason for why I love Derek Shepherd. He is our stupid brainman and will always be. I'm really excited for this season. I so freaking love it that we finally see MD handle there problems and not just fix it magically over night. Big things like this take time. I believe this season will be bitter-sweet for MD, and I love it. ?