So anyways...I've caught up with the KG scenes up till May 20th. I'm almost there...lol kinda. I think I will be caught up by tomorrow only actually.
But wow...really starting to appreciate this story even more now. And this relationship. So much to say on these scenes...but I don't even know where to start...I still have to absorb it all. There's just TOO much scope for discussing.
I really feel for Kesar. *sigh* :( I think I would have to watch the pre leap phase to understand Gulaal's loneliness and POV better because right now I feel more for Kesar's anguish more than anything else. Bichara...has SO much pent up inside him. Has been confused and tormented...and so lonely all these years. I was almost chocking in some scenes where he reads those letters he never sent. He had no one to share these feelings with. He can't confront these feelings, he can't keep it inside of him...he's just so confused and tormented inside. He has SO much to figure out...so much to deal with. Those are the reasons he is so flawed. He makes so many mistakes. Yet he learns from each one of them. He evolves with each scene. There are so many shades to him as well. Sometimes he can be selfish, arrogant and bossy...sometimes just a confused child needing insight, sometimes so innocent...and other times just so overcome with his feelings for Gulaal...he just can't help be drawn to her even though he still has so many unanswered questions in his head. All his thoughts/his soul basically is associated with her only. Sometimes he is not dwelling on why Gulaal did this...or building up on his anger and frustration towards her...and then lashing out at her in various ways as a defense mechanism. And then other times he is being so innocent and sweet...just doing the sweetest things for Gulaal and feeling the pain of her loneliness as well. Kesar is SO conflicted...such a complicated character. There's just TOO much pent up inside him. He dotes on Gulaal and he believes in her. So you can see why he would be SO hurt if there was the slightest possibility that he didn't really know his Gulaal as well as he thought he did. That she was capable of taking away the justice for Vasant. And then you see times when he can't help but be drawn to her again, trust her again...feel her loneliness and pain and feel the desire to do something for her. Like in that confrontation scene (which I am starting to understand better now)...there is always this conflict of trust and 'haq' between KG.
And Gulaal too is sometimes just taken aback by the extent of Kesar's words and gestures. She doesn't want to believe them...she is intentionally dismissing them. She refuses to understand the EXTENT and depth of Kesar's feelings for her. It's another thing that even Kesar himself doesn't understand the depth of his feelings. He says such deep meaning things so innocently so often to Gulaal. Things like "Tu bhi toh meri zindagi ka hissa hai", and "Dus saal tak tune apne aap ko mujhse door rakha Gulaal...dus saal..."...Man I got goosebumps almost with the way Kesar said that last dialogue. SO much pain in his eyes. SO much depth to his emotions there. No wonder Gulaal was taken aback too. His turmoil/anguish just haunts you in a way...the extent of his feelings for Gulaal is just unbelievable! He feels SO much for Gulaal...right down to his very core...his soul...his whole existence. I think even Gulaal is a little scared by the extent of Kesar's emotions. Therefore she dismisses them and refuses to understand them.
I loved those scenes with the coin. SO original and creative! So adorable. I think the first time Kesar smiles and starts to soften vis a vis Gulaal is that 'dhoodh' coin scene. Aww. 😆 Both of them at their stubborn best. The playful, stubborn, childish and competitive side of these two comes out with these coin scenes. Yet there is so much depth and poignancy to them as well. You really have to sit back and really ponder over and absorb all this depth.
And aww with the way Kesar takes care of Gulaal during her sickness! I LOVED that moment especially when Kesar and Gulaal share this moment of understanding without saying a word. The way Gulaal just smiles and Kesar understands. Aww. *sigh* SUCH a unique yet beautiful relationship these two share. I can't even really figure out myself what this relationship is. It's just a beautiful sa mix of companionship, genuine concern/care, deep affection and attachment. These two are just attached somehow. And they both need to figure out and realize just how. What is this relationship and why is it so special yet so delicate?
This story is very deeply touching. Really liking the story and the characters of Gulaal and Kesar so far. Especially Kesar. And MAN Neil and Manasi are awesome! 👏 And the background music toh. 😍 All the instrumentals...and those rustic, soulful se tunes. 😍
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