~~||Writing in the Sand||~~ - Page 7

Hello Skep 😊
I just caught up with the first two episodes... A refreshing change from the off late Indian shows..
Thank you for introducing me to it...

When Arfeen says I so and so in full control of my faculties, declare divorce (3 times), certainly looked uneasy. Uneasy because he had fully believed Saba to be in the wrong.

Originally posted by: kjeldahl

Hello Skep 😊
I just caught up with the first two episodes... A refreshing change from the off late Indian shows..
Thank you for introducing me to it...

Originally posted by: skeptical

Saba's father is living abroad and is encouraging his daughter to educate herself. Yet, he was unwilling to listen to her?

Y'know what I absolutely abhor is the way the parents readily accept a committee's decision and stop supporting their own offspring. This is the way in the subcontinent, be it Islam or Hindu.

When the upper generation of women themselves willing lie prostrate in front of foolish norms and beliefs, what can Gen Next do? Instead of bringing about a change, they succumb to peer pressure !!!!! How will there ever be women's upliftment like this?

I think I am digressing..........

skep the point of a serial shd be that it encourages meaninglful discussions rather than gossip abt characters ... so digress all u want😊 when meri zaat ends i'll c abt uplaoding abt uploading some of the old ptv classics ... if all are available on youtube ...

coming to ur point .... the mentality portrayed .... its so common .... and some of those dialogues ... khanadan ke samane naak kata di ... bhai saab ke samane ------- whatever... its as if ur parents... bros and sis ....relations other than ur marital ones are more important .... hell ppl think that parents and siblings r ur real relations and wife and kid come in secondary 🤢 what parents shd do is support their kids even if they really did make a mistake ... i still go back to the convo b/w arfeena and his friends.... if the woman has realized her mistakes than forgive and move on .. same shd be applied to daughters .... and if ur daughter is saying that she ahsnt done anything ... than y not believe her? even adil's mother think that saba must ahve seduced my son🤢🤢🤢 as for father ... i think when u r abroad...u may become open minded abt certaina aspects but u also become very rigid as far as traditions and culture and religion r concerned .... this seem to happen to alot of ppl ... at least in islam .. ....
parents and mothers often become the biggest culprits ..... i know someone ... cousin of a cousin or somthin ... this happened when i was like 10 yrs old .. anyways... apparently her parents found out that she has established some sort of freindship with somone on "phone" ... no big deal right? her family thought it was and she was married off as soon as they found a suitable rishta .... he wasnt an old divorced man but i dont think she is happy in her marriage .... this "log kiya kahein gay mentality" its only when v stop giving a damn to what ppl think . .thats when woman will truly be emancipated and improvement seen in society at large ......

Originally posted by: skeptical

And Aksa ................. arre she takes the cake.

She should have been blindly loyal to her older sister instead of being so judgemental. Why didn't she even for a moment think .....if the roles had been reversed and she would have been in her sis's place, how would Saba have reacted? Would she have cast her to the lynching mob?

And now she's come tearing down from London to "tc" of her niece!!! How hypocritical........

this holier than thou attitude .... thats the worst part ... ultimately ppl only think of themselves... they ahve lost the ability to empathize ,.... and even if she thinks that her sister was unfaithful to her husband ... so what? she may disapprove but she shouldnt have stood there silently and let taya abba beat her so brutely ...

Originally posted by: skeptical

When the road show was over, and Arfeen had said those damning words and divorced Saba, he leads his mother out of the room as she needed protection. He didn't glance Saba's way but did you see the cow's face? She was petrified as she passed, as if she saw God out of Saba's face and he was disapproving. But in a second that was gone and she was gloating. And her husband beating his hand on his forehead like a man possessed. Eeeeeks!!! How could such a man ever hold a family together?

Arfeen's sisters too I think are a party to their mother's schemes? 😡

yeah i noticed the change in her ecxpression .... before and after she hd taken that oath .. she was trembling and like u said petrified .. but than the look on her face (full marks to the actor) but... and the look on saba's face .. the heartbreak and accusation ....
i think the father was able to hold the family to gether because he got a wife whose thinking was so much like his own ... and i think that man .... he is again thinking of the family's "izzat" that has now been tarnished and all .....🤢
may be .... may be not..... may be the mother did it on her own but they r definitely culprits as well bcos of the way they egged their mother and all....

Originally posted by: skeptical

Incidentally, why is Saba though married to Arfeen still living with her mother? They have consummated their marriage or haven't they? What's the custom?

they ahd the nikah so they were married and all but the rukhsati that is bidaai hadnt taken place.... the thing is ....here ppl r afraid of long engagements... what if the gurl and guy r engaged for say 2 years and than suddenly the guy's family breaks of the engagement.... ppl prefer nikah in instances such as the guy and gurl are still studying so they should be given some time before the responsiblities of marriage r thurst on them ...(i mean how will u say that i cant attend that event bcos i ahve an exam the next day) also if the guy is abroad and there will eb visa issues then again nikah ceremony is held before ahnd... so that the papers can eb made and when tht is done the rukhsati takes place and it is at this point whn all the ceremonies related to a wedding like mehndi take place....
breaking of a nikah means divorce and that is embarrasing for both the guy and the giurl so nikah is a pretty safe way of making sure that the guy doesnt cry off.... saba and arfeen were nikaofied.... legally and religiously they were married ... but they hadnt consummated the marriage ... btw... the wedding cermeonies were taking place... saba was about to go to her sasural when days before the big day all hell broke loose😭

@ Cherry .... hi.... and welcome😊 i hope u enjoy yourself😊

Originally posted by: skeptical

When Arfeen says I so and so in full control of my faculties, declare divorce (3 times), certainly looked uneasy. Uneasy because he had fully believed Saba to be in the wrong.

And Saba what was she thinking? I think the following was going thro her head

1. If this is love, its a fickle emotion...... no my love can never be fickle.

2. Is that all it takes to break a relationship....... words repeated three times?

3. Was there no trust in my marriage? Was it standing on such a weak foundation and I didn't even know?

4. Wasn't my husband a man of the world? A sensitive and gentle person who was forced to take sides? But it's sad that it couldn't be my side.

5. Marriage is an institution not a mere contract. Wasn't it a commitment to love and protect? The older gen wouldn't understand but we two had sworn to it, hadn't we? Then why has our faith come crashing down?

6. Why were you doubting me even before I spoke? I had blind faith that you'd stand by me, then where was your blind faith in me?

7. Could there really be a person as monstrous as Tayama?

8. Is God not holy anymore? Is he not to be feared?

9. The floor beneath my feet has caved in and with it all my beliefs. I don't think I could feel so bereft in my life again, for I have lost everything .......... including my very own identity.

10. But I don't blame you and I shall never stop loving you. Not so much because you are wonderful but because my love is true and unblemished. I know you were just a pawn in a diabolical game played out.

Little one ................... all this is my imagination or what? Or should I co-author this novel? 😆 😉

i love ur critique and i think u shd co-author this novel👏 btw i havent read the novel itself.... apparently some stuff ahve been changed in the serial ... like that scene b/w adil and and saba when everything came crashing down .. in the novel apparently it was dark in the room and adil was trying to fix the bulb .... i honestly dont know how the author treated her characters but here saba ... i think was really tinking all this....
she thoght arfeen wd belive her but he wanted proof .. she thought arfeen would stick with her no matter what..... but intead he divorced her .... all tht she belived in and held dear came crashing down in one moment...
she was so inncoent tht she didnt realize the lenghths som ppl wd go to to achieve what they want .. the look on saba's face when tayima took that oath ...... the thing is that false oath didnt break her.... she was defiant enuf to refuse to take an oath herself... what broke her was that hated word "talaq" ....
and yeah at that moment she really did lose everyhitn... her husband...the man she lovedl. . her family bcos now they really did believe the worse of ehr... her sense of self and self -respect .... and on one ahdn she couldnt belive arfeen wd do this to her and on the other hand she couldnt even blame him for thinking the worse of him.... he may not ahve been the mane she thought he was ... but he was still the man who took her side when his family didnt ...at the crucial moment he didnt but how do u hate someone when u know that he is just a pawn in the hands of master .... thats the worst part i think ... she cant even assage her pain by being furious at the ppl she love .... she doesnt give a damn abt taima now so that doesnt count . but the ppl who do count... her parents...siser......hsuband... how can u hate them when at some level u also undestand that forces that became a major cause behid their cruel acts.... idealy speaking they shd hve belived her but v dont live in an ideal world ..... and this is another thing that has been taken away frm her.... her ideals and beliefs.... she had idealistic beliefs regarding education for isntance but look at arfeen and aksa ..... love... family....identity.. honor....ideals and beliefss... her faith have all be taken afrom her and now.... like u said she is bereft.....
bereft... that somehow reminds me of Robert Frost's Desert Places

Snow falling and night falling fast, oh, fast,

In a field I looked into going past,
And the ground almost covered smooth in snow,
But a few weeds and stubble showing last.

The woods around it have it-it is theirs.
All animals are smothered in their lairs.
I am too absent-spirited to count;
The loneliness includes me unawares.

And lonely as it is, that loneliness
Will be more lonely ere it will be less-
A blanker whiteness of benighted snow
With no expression, nothing to express.

They cannot scare me with their empty spaces
Between stars-on stars where no human race is.
I have it in me so much nearer home
To scare myself with my own desert places.

pretty apt😊

and i think this is enuf of my ramblings😆