"Is this the moment where I look you in the eye
Forgive my broken promise
That you'll never see me cry."
She could feel air choking up in her throat. She wanted to flay her limbs, she wanted to struggle against her impending predicament standing right in front of her, but they were not supporting her. They lay limp, as her heart was slowly ceasing to function, a beat, a miss, a beat, a miss, a miss, a beat, a miss... No, this could not be happening, she wanted to live. She couldn't go now, she couldn't lose everything she had... a miss, a beat, a miss, a beat, Swayam was right in front of her. He looked tortured. She wanted to reassure him that she was not going anywhere, she couldn't. At least not now...a miss, a miss, a miss, a beat... black spots appeared in front of her eyes... a miss, a miss, a miss... a calm set over her, as she faded into the darkness.
___________________________________________________________________________
Even if I tell you I won't go
Away today"
Swayam stood there numb, as the pulse meter stopped showing any peaks, but became a solid, horrifying straight line. His head started spinning. This was not possible. No, he reassured himself, you are over reacting. The doctor will do something, he will bring her back, he has to.
"I'm sorry," the doctor said, "but she's no more."
He removed her oxygen mask, what is he doing, she won't be able to breathe if he removes it. He wanted to stop the doctor but his body didn't flinch, his voice got stuck. He couldn't move, he couldn't make a sound.
He heard a scream from somewhere and felt someone crash down. Slowly the words sunk in. "She is no more."
No, it's a lie. She is just lying there; she is sleeping that's all. He will wake her up.
He shook her, "Sharon wake up." She did not move. "Wake up Sharon." She still had her eyes closed.
He got it, she was punishing him. She was punishing him for not believing her, for not trusting her. "Please, wake up Sharon."
"Sharon, I know you're fine. There's nothing wrong with you." He screamed, no he won't scream at her or else she will not listen to him. He was sure, she will make a slip any moment now, she will smile and then get up and laugh at him. But she didn't. She laid there, rock solid. Why wasn't she listening to him? "Please get up Sharon."
Desperation began to sink in, as tears surfaced in his eyes. His heart beat in his ribcage and threatened to burst. There was only so much he could take, and this was not what he could.
"I ask oh god is there some way for me to take her place
And when they say it's all touch and go
I wish I could make it go away"
He pulled her up to his heart, how could she be so ruthless. How could she leave him? How could he let everything happen in front of his eyes? Why was he so helpless? "Sharon, wake up, please, wake up. You can't leave me all alone. I can't live without you." He sobbed, but her heart still did not beat. It lay motionless against his. If only he could give his heart to her, he would have happily done so, without thinking twice.
____________________________________________________________________________
"I know he's living in hell every single day"
Bright light blinded her. She couldn't see anything properly. Where was she?
As her eyes began to adjust to the brightness, she saw her surroundings; it looked exactly like the hallway of St. Louise, complete with the banner of St. Louise and the eagle statue, the logo of St Louise College.
But what was she doing her, why were there no one around, why was the light blinding her. She had never seen so much light in the hallway before.
And then she heard it, the voice of a broken man, who screamed with desperation and despondency, "Please wake up Sharon." She turned around but could not see anyone. She was wide-awake, why did he say so. Was that guy playing some prank with her? "Sharon, please, please wake up." He sobbed. It tugged at her dormant heart. Dormant?
She placed her hands on her heart; it did not beat. How was she awake if it was not beating? And then the memory of the hospital came crashing in. The dingy storeroom, Ruhi, the hospital, Swayam's tormented expression, Rey, Kriya... Swayam.
"Will you think that you're all alone
When no one's there to hold your hand"
Swayam voice echoed in her heart as it reverberated across the marble hallway, "Sharon, wake up please, wake up. Please." She wanted to cry, but tears didn't come. She screamed, "Swayam." But no voice came out of her mouth.
She couldn't leave everything behind now. She had to go back, to her friends, to her heart. Maybe if she could express her pain, maybe they would let her go back. But how does she express herself? She couldn't speak, couldn't cry. The only thing she had left was... she could dance to express herself. She didn't have any choice but to hold on to that one thread of hope and pray to heavens that they grant her the wish. If it were possible to go back, she would go through anything to do so. She would take a thousand daggers in her heart if they want her to. All she wanted was to wipe the tears that streamed down his face.
So she danced, with all her heart. She swayed, spun, to the sound of his sobs, to the beat of her pain, to the image of his tears flashed across her eyes. Her legs gave in but she still kept dancing.
"I love you." His voice resonated through the hallway. And then it happened. All wind got choked up in her windpipe, she was suffocating, she couldn't breathe. She struggled to let some air in and then she felt the light around her engulfing her as she felt herself flying through the non-existent. And then she heard... a beat.
_____________________________________________________________________________
"When all you know seems so far away
And everything is temporary rest your head
I'm permanent"
"I love you Sharon," he sobbed. This was it, she was gone. His heart, his dream, his love, his entire world lay shattered on the floor. She had gone and she had taken him with her.
He laid beside her doing the only thing in his power, cry. Cry till his wounded heart would explode and take him where she was. His head rested beside her, his arms still around her. He felt someone trying to pull him back but he did not budge. He would remain the same way his entire life, holding her against his heart, hoping that it would beat again. Hoping he would live again.
His felt all energy sapping out of him, he was exhausted, he was fading into oblivion, when he felt her chest move up as she made a sucking noise. He looked up scared to build hope fearing it would crash down again. But she did it again, she gulped air again. Was this possible? He had heard of such miracles but was it possible that she was the one in million case. But then, she was always one in a million, right?
He hurriedly took her hand in his, and rubbed it as she laboriously breathed in and out. He vaguely felt some commotion around and he was sure he had heard Rey's voice, screaming for the doctor. He kept rubbing her palms as the doctor rushed in and placed the oxygen mask back on turning the valve of oxygen cylinder open.
He did not try to stand, as he knew his knees would not support him. He slowly stroked Sharon's head as gradually, her erratic breathing evened out and she relaxed. He exhaled suddenly realizing that he had held his breath all this while.
After some examining, the doctor with awe on his face said, "It's a miracle. She is back." One last tear dropped down his face as relief washed over his soul. He turned back to Sharon, who looked at him with tear-strewn eyes, her hand still in his, as it will always be from now on.
____________________________________________________________________________
"Is this the moment where I look you in the eye"
She looked at him, and all she saw was his love, the pure unadulterated, all consuming love. She thanked the heavens, for giving her one more chance of forging an eternity with him.
She felt everyone around her, all her friends in the hospital room, but her eyes were only for him. There was only one thing she wanted to tell him right now, something she should have told him ages ago, something, which she had almost lost the opportunity to say. She opened her mouth and said, "Swayam."
"Forgive my promise that you'll never see me cry"
He nodded.
"See, I came back for you." He laughed weakly. "At least now, you won't call me stubborn right." He shook his head kissing her hand.
She continued, "so now in front of everyone, I want to say," she felt everyone gather around, and she said it, this time with so much ease that she was surprised she struggled to say it so much in the past. She said, "I love you."
He looked surprised. She said it again, "I love you," and again, "I love you." Swayam couldn't contain himself, and he bent forward to hug her. She smiled blissfully.
She heard Rey joke about how he will suffocate her. But she didn't want him to move. She felt good in his warmth as she felt their hearts beat against each other's.
_____________________________________________________________________________
"I'm permanent"
He did not have any intention to move at all, not wanting to take her out of his sight, but the doctor said he wanted to perform a few tests on her to check if she was alright. He reluctantly obliged. He kissed her forehead, and cupping her face in his hand, he cast one long look at her before he slowly walked out of the room.
As soon as the door closed behind him, the shuddering thought came back to him that he had almost lost her. He couldn't fathom what would have happened to him had she not come back. But he decided not to worry about that as of now, or any other time for that matter, because he promised himself he would never let this situation arise anytime in the future. Whatever the circumstance he would always stand in between it and her. He could see the world he had created with all his heart for him and Sharon finally materializing and he knew that their love was permanent.
The End
Author's Note:
Thank you for reading this OS, obviously the repeat of the current track but I mainly wanted to show Sharon's struggle to come back. I know it's a bit ridiculous and in a few places a bit too emotional but logic and practicality may go to hell as far as SwaRon are concerned. What lead to the scene in the serial was frankly utterly stupid, but I was hell excited for this because I knew I will get to see some superb acting from Shantanu's side. And I was definitely not disappointed. Especially, when he pulled her to him and screamed, and the way his voice broke, was particularly heart breaking for me. I could feel everything there, Swayam's guilt, pain, desperation, helplessness, everything. So how the story came up was I was working on this vm with the song Permanent by David Cook when I had this idea, I improvised the plot a thousand times. Do I show that Sharon died in the end, do I show her just coming back, but then I realized that's something everyone has seen. How about showing a glimpse of what Sharon went through in the moments of afterlife. So this os came up.
I don't if I could do justice to the song because it belongs to a completely different world. I can't imagine what the singer was going through when he sung this. You can have a glimpse of it here, if you want to:
http://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.david-cook.org%2FThe-Intricate-Message-interpretation-Of-and39permanentand39-t16069.html&ei=k19XU77VAteF8gXBv4KQCQ&usg=AFQjCNF9DH9M4AFLQc5-52pZxVIgVlQ3lQ
Oh, yes and my vm:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olGnHIqT9Ik
I know it's not brilliant but I hope you like it.
Thank you.
Srishti
Mangal Lakshmi
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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