The Contrast (Swaron OS)

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Destiny_015

@Destiny_015

Sparkler

Posted: 12 years ago

#11

This was a completely splendid wrk... Magnificient.. Well I thought dat Sharon asthma track mi8 go in dis way but nevermind.. It ws extremely well penned... Dis OS z into the skin of Sharon.. Sharon's PoV z shown amzingly.. Absolutely perfect.. Spcly luvd the prt how she z still living nd njoying dance thru sumone hu she luvs..."The other kind of breathing someone else does for me." How she finds herself njoyin even wen she z among the crowd nd z nt dancin... I luvd the prt where u mentioned how Swayam finds her among the crowd.. nd den " I just feel he wasted a precious moment staring at me."-dis is completely Sharon.. " May be that's why when i watch him dance i end up finding myself. It doesn't seem like a loss anymore." These lyn would be my favorite from the write up..These were beautiful... An amzingly written write up... Do write mre...

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Ardour.

@Ardour.

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#12

Shal 🤗

It feels so nice to see you after such a long time, mate. Incredibly penned.

The beginning couldn't have been more perfect.

The mark of intelligence is being able to accept life with all its limitations and acknowledge that limitations exist for your own good.

^^It's sheer beauty, you know. 😳

You justified Sharon so well. Her perspective was very well-depicted. It's absolutely pleasurable to read something which transforms from ache to gratitude. You captured Swayum from Sharon's eyes, which again is a treasured rarity. These lines are something indeed :-

I wonder how Swayam manages to find me in the crowd every time and why at all he lets his gaze wander in my direction when he should really be busy listening to his own heart beat.

The last para concludes the plot perfectly.

Perhaps opposites attract because our own sense of self is heightened when we perceive someone who is nothing like us. May be that's why when i watch him dance i end up finding myself. It doesn't seem like a loss anymore. So before i congratulate him on his performance or tell him that i cant be any more proud of him even if i tried, may be i should thank him for being such a contrasting personality.

The part in red says it all. The situation metamorphoses from poignancy to satisfaction.

Fabulously written Shal. All the best for your exams.

-Niki

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Shahnaz

@ShenzK

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#13

well this something extra ordinary...
I thought it would be either a romantic OS but u denied it to be one... then I thought of it to be one with sad ending..
but it carries the sweet essence of love that Sharon feels for Swayam. its exceptionally beautiful.
no doubt exams get minds working in these directions.

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Shalini

@lyfisbeautiful

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: -shenz-
well this something extra ordinary...
I thought it would be either a romantic OS but u denied it to be one... then I thought of it to be one with sad ending..
but it carries the sweet essence of love that Sharon feels for Swayam. its exceptionally beautiful.
no doubt exams get minds working in these directions.

True that!😳! thanks! :)

@all- thanks for taking time out and commenting.. means a lot! :)

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-spongy-

@-spongy-

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 12 years ago

#15

i thought it might be a romantic os...

bt i was much beeter han tht...

the way u decribed sharon's condition it was really beautiful...

well written 👏

loved it... 😊

it carries tht swaron wala feeling... 😳😳😳

definitely worth reading... 😊😊😊

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BeulaSwaRon

@BeulaSwaRon

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#16

such a beautiful work Shalini.

I didn't realise Sharon aasthma issue cud get this beautiful. I wanted Sharon's passion for dance be focused majorly. how she deals and all..how she gives up and failing sometimes. If this is how it was meant to be I wudnt have wanted Sharon aasthma get revealed so soon :( and wouldn't have wanted Sharon continue dance so soon and would have loved to see how she actually gets more closer towards dance by staying away from dance. how would her passion for dance would have been shown which I always wanted to see.

demands from fans to end aasthma track shattered it all...sad...anyways...this all is beautifully shown by you shalini

Sharon is not missing dance and is not away from dance. she is finding her passion for dance through Swayam...OMG how the more beautiful it could get.

The dancing positions written are just perfect.

and you have shown Swayam's angle also beautifully that he is not bothered abt the tiny fame and how the DIVA wish he could focus on himself for a while. How much they care for each other's lives...beautiful work Shalini..

sry for such a late reply. loved the title...thanks you for the PM dear

Edited by BeulaSwaRon - 12 years ago

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kshitija

@--Kshitz--

Inactive

Posted: 12 years ago

#17

Wow...its so different and one of the best OS...sharons monologue...specially abt swayam,dance,their passion,,,,,,,,her happiness though she could not dance...watching his every move,he was searching her in crowd...its just perfect...
And most imp thing which touched me was she is living her passion ,her dreams through him...beautiful... Just perfect never thought in such a way

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Neel

@neeliyer

Explorer

Posted: 12 years ago

#18

It wasn't dramatic as you mentioned but it was definitely romantic .. the way you have shown sharon's take on giving up dance and on each and everything dancers do n feel on stage was really very beautiful .. i loved each and every POV of sharon, be it the trilling start, or swayam being a team player (what an ass 😆), or increasing tempo n losing control or the group hug, feding her pride.. each n every bit of it .. but ter are two parts which i loved the most, one when sharon describes swayam's behavior of finding her in the crowd everytime when according to her he should be listening to his own heart beat .. second is sharon's take on living your passion through someone .. n the reason y i said it definitely was romantic ..

Beautifully written 👏 .. do write more .. n do pm