Short FF: Unfulfilled Dreams

One-shot about Bertha Shirley's thoughts and feelings before she died

I used to be very lonely…before my Anne came. Walter went off to teach at the little schoolhouse near the brook everyday, and when he was home, he was busy grading papers. As for myself, I sat out on the porch alone, or sometimes with Mrs. Aurelia Nelson when she cared to join me, and knitted…knitted with all the strength one has when she has nothing else to do. I listened while Mrs. Nelson went on and on about her nine children and their mischief, what she had made for supper, how nosy her new neighbor was, etc. I had to stop myself from laughing when Mrs. Nelson complained about her nosy neighbor, because Mrs. Nelson herself was such a gossip, but never would I run down Mrs. Nelson, because she's the only friend I have living close by.

Bolingbroke is a very beautiful little town, with such lovely valleys and hills, and such quaint little houses, with lawns sprinkled with flowers. I was sure when I arrived here as a bride one year ago that I would be the happiest woman who ever lived, but it soon became apparent when we moved into the poorest house in the town that people looked down on Walter and I, even though we were B.A.s and schoolteachers. But to me, our little yellow house, which is always filled to the brim with love and happiness, is the loveliest house on the block.

Anne Bertha Shirley came into the world with all the loveliness and sunshine a beautiful March morning can bring. It was a painless birth, and Anne was the most beautiful child I ever laid eyes on. Many people who came to see her said she was awfully thin and some even dared to say she was homely, but my quick temper and icy stares soon shut them up. Anne has silky red hair, just like Walter's, and my grey-green eyes. I will always love her, this wee little girl-child, and she will always have a place in my heart.

Anne is growing rapidly day by day, and she's so healthy and full of energy. She's six months old now, and has such rosy cheeks. I have so many plans and dreams for Anne. By the time she's six or seven, I will enroll her in the very same schoolhouse her father teaches, and then she will of course go to Bolingbroke High School, which is only three miles away. After that, I plan to send her to Redmond College no matter what. I'm already saving money to put her through. I know it will be hard, but Anne deserves it. She deserves the very best, my beautiful little daughter who stole my heart. I spend my days stitching Anne such pretty little dresses, with lace and frills and puffed sleeves, which seem to be the fashion these days. I know it's extravagance and we really can't afford it, but I can't help it. I just love Anne so much.

I'm afraid my health is declining. I'm so tired and unhappy all the time, for no particular reason. Walter will call for the doctor in two days, because the doctor is on vacation, but I'm afraid all of a sudden. I feel my sickness is no common thing, because I never had symptoms like this before.

Only a few days passed, but I feel as if I aged thirty years. I'm barely able to get out of my bed now. Constantly, I need assistance. Mrs. Nelson has been kind enough in taking care of Anne these past few days. I don't know how to thank her. Perhaps if I live, I will make her my special carrot cake that she's really fond of.

It's afternoon right now, and something compels me to call Walter, and beg him to bring Anne. He looks reluctant, but seeing my face, finally goes downstairs, lifts Anne from her bassinet, and brings her to my room. She is sleeping, her little chest going up and down. I gently grab hold of her little fist, and bring it to my cheek.

"Take care of her Walter," I whisper, before closing my eyes forever. My last thought is that I know Walter will take good care of her. I know she'll grow up in happiness and sunshine much like I did. I know she'll be an accomplished woman and fulfill my dear little plans. I know everything will be alright……………………at least, I hope.