Daughter of Kamal Haasan and Sarika, for Shruti, "Life is a canvas you are meant to paint on. Some of us are lucky to be born with an empty canvas and some of us are born with some people already having added their reds and blues, and you have to coordinate your colours with those"
Earliest memoriesâŚ
I was born in Chennai, and went to the Abacus school, which was a utopian world. We never had desks and could not wear shoes inside the classroom. We had mats and chowkis; in short, they just let us be.
Since I grew up watching bapuji (that's what I call dad fondly) create stories/ films and mom Sarika also being so imaginative (she was designing costumes for dad's films then), I decided to start a girl's club, which was like the Nancy Drew detective club. I was in the third grade then. Mom would be doing the costumes and she would have these trinkets. I would pick them up and bury them under some tree, and act as though I have a psychic eye and tell my friends that there is hidden treasure there. I would make up stories and they'd exclaim, 'Oh my God! How did she know?' And all these girls, who are my friends now, still hate me for it and till date don't believe a word I say.
Getting into Mischief
One day, I saw a man in the neighbourhood take a sickle and cut open a coconut. I went hysterically to my teacher and told her, 'I think he killed his wife!' and pretended to faint. Soon the police was called and they began to question me. When that guy said his wife was not in town, the whole thing began to look suspicious. Mom and bapuji came rushing and kept asking, 'Are you sure?' and I said, 'Yes, bapuji, very sure!' But on reaching home, I confessed that I made it all up. Mom was so embarrassed. On the other hand, my dad was so proud of me! He thought it was a great performance and a very realistic story. Till date, he says it was great because it had a motive, plot and climax! Nobody ever believed me in school again! It ruined my reputation but it also upped my image as a liar and a performer, which every artiste needs to be.
Growing upâŚ
We had exposure to many things at school. The teachers would ask us to go up on stage and imitate another teacher. It brought our latent talent to the fore. So it's difficult for me to say when exactly I got hooked to music and acting â maybe, when I first started singing nursery rhymes, the national anthem or the invocation songs. But acting and singing were always my passion from childhood.
As kids, my younger sister Akshara and I were big fans of Shah Rukh Khan. I remember I felt so nervous when I had to go up on stage and pick up dad's first film award. I became totally speechless when I saw Shah Rukh Khan sitting in the audience and staring at me! I blanked out for a few moments and then said to myself, 'Oh my God! What will people think of my dad if I let him down?' and then rattled off the thanksgiving speech. It was quite funny!
Discovering selfâŚ
After my 10th grade, I went to St Andrew's College in Mumbai where I started studying psychology. But when I realized I would not be branching out into this field, I shifted my focus to cinema and music. Well, with dad at home, it was pretty much like having a lesson in acting and cinema every day. He encouraged me to write scripts and read. I have been writing scripts since I was 14 and even made short films. But I am really nervous to show them to anybody because when I go home and watch a film my dad has made, or a Spielberg film, or an old Polanski film and look at my film, I tell myself, 'Just burn it!'
At 18, I moved to America, and it was a huge culture shock for me. I went there to learn music from the Hollywood Music School called the Musicians Institute, California. I thought I was pretty modern in my outlook, but I was quite Indian in my roots. I went from a place where people loved me, to a place where you want to make people love you, and trust you; they don't because it's so competitive out there. But I did make wonderful friends.
Even though my dad would call every day and my sister Akshara would call to say, 'I miss you', it was scary to be on my own. But I am grateful I went there because there are certain things that I would have not changed about myself, had I not gone there. It is the essence of who I am.
Life as Kamal Hassan's daughterâŚ
Never have I been told 'yes' or 'no' by dad. He always says, 'This will have these repercussions', and he lets us be. I have made mistakes for which I've had to bear the brunt. Dad has lived life on his own terms and that's exactly why it's easier for me to do so too. At times, I did feel that other dads spent more time with their kids. But on the whole, as an artiste today, I am glad to have parents like mine. My mom was extremely supportive in initiating me into art. But my dad is the one I'd go to if I had any problem. There is nobody else I would trust in the world to give the right advice! The greatest quality that I love about him is his ability to recognize somebody's mistake and forgive, and his ability to recognize his own mistake and apologize. That is Kamal Haasan's greatest achievement according to me. And it's a lineage I am extremely proud of.
Dad has always told us, 'Tomorrow, if we all disappeared like in a Bermuda Triangle, you have to have the capability to survive'. That was a big lesson for me.
I am a die-hard fan of my dad and I love most of the work he does. And the best part is, I can easily tell him what I don't like. And he always has a reason for why he did something. I loved 'Nayakan' because of its collaboration of great talents. I love 'Guna'; it re-instills your faith in love. I loved 'Michael Madana Kamaraj'; it was a fabulous entertainer. One of my favourite films is 'Hey Ram'. I think there were so many layers to that film, that people could not perceive them. I do believe that dad had disclosed too much of his own state of mind at that time. But it was an honest film and excellently shot, and my mom's costumes too were excellent.
Dad would insist that I watch 'Spartacus' every week because it is his all-time favourite film. So now I know all the lines of this film and of 'Godfather' and of Andrew Webber Lloyds's 'Jesus Christ Super Star'! And I watched all of Marlon Brando's films, and when I grew older, I also watched his adult movies and even his shitty films like 'The Last Tango in Paris'. I read his autobiography 'Songs that my mother taught me', and felt it was amazing
Mother SarikaâŚ
My mother has shaped me to be a real person. She is a voracious reader and the books she read have influenced my life. She has taught me to find my true self. My dad flourishes, and my mom and people like me, we survive and cope with ourselves, and people around us. So I respect her for being a survivor. We were like Mary and her two little lambs to my mom, and the lambs are grown up now. Parents' separationâŚ
What I love about my parents is that they have been honest enough to say what was going on in their minds, and it helped me cope with what was going on in their lives later. As children, we did realize what was happening. Moreover, I never worried about what would happen to me because I knew both my parents would take care of me.
I cannot be immature and feel bad about my parents' separation, because it was not my decision. Like my dad said in a movie, 'Husband and wife can divorce each other but parents can never divorce their kids'. My parents may have grown apart, but they are always bound by us. That is something even an institution can't change; that in fact is life!
Maybe when I was younger, I was bothered that they were not together. But once I grew up, I realized that it does not matter because it is their life and not mine. If you are not happy with somebody, fine, you don't have to live together. Like now, when I see an ex-boyfriend with another woman, I don't really bother about it.
GouthamiâŚ
I am so thankful that Gouthami has brought herself and Subbu (Subbalaxmi is Gouthami's seven-year-old daughter) into our lives. Good people make your life so much better. I just think I am very fortunate to have met her. I DON'T CARE about social implications and things like that. Gouthami is an amazing person and it does not matter if she is my dad's girlfriend or partner. She actually came to the US to settle me in, help me with accommodation, shop for all the things I needed and saw to it that I settled with ease. It was not necessary for my dad's girlfriend to do that. I would be incomplete without my dad, Gouthami and Subbu. Subbu is my other sister and she is such a genius at her age. She is going to be awesome when she grows up.
Tomorrow, if my mom has a great man in her life, I will be very happy to know him. I am not a judgmental child and I don't feel awkward about such things. People ask me, 'Don't you feel weird?' I tell them, 'Dude, If you love to live in a house where parents pretend to love each other, all the best to you. I can't do that'.
Sister AksharaâŚ
Akshara is the best thing in my life. She is amazingly talented and extraordinarily beautiful. I have learnt to love because of her. My world would end if she was not there and I don't feel like that about anybody in my life. She is my honest critic and motivator. We do fight but we love each other in a way that is far too deep to put in words. Seriously, she is the only person who understands why I am the way I am, and the only one who lets me be weird.
Building a careerâŚ
I am definitely going to act in films, and I am certainly very nervous about being my father's daughter. People will say, 'Let's see if Kamal Haasan's daughter rocks or sucks!' But eventually, I will be judged for my own work. I will set my own standards. I have been involved in theatre since my school days. I did a play called 'Ashwaha', and I did train in the US, as acting was part of our curriculum.
Since I like doing both (singing and acting), I've started out with cutting my album first. I would love to come out with videos with a story line. My style of music is alternative. I listen to everything from heavy metal and Hindustani classical, to Asian Dub and prodigy, to even filmi music. My album is a mix of everything I love.
So far, I have recorded six songs. The first one is all about my wonderful heartbreak, which I am quite open about sharing. My anthem is, if you have got your heart trampled upon, pick up the pieces, put them in a bag and go on with your life. Heartbreaks are vital for artistes. I was very glad to have my heart broken because I could create songs out of it.
Life, Love n MusicâŚ
Love is something you can't label, and I think you can fall in love at any age. Love is a bizarre thing. A lot of my songs have lyrics like, 'Please Shruti, don't go down that road again'. And on the other hand, they also say, 'You can't help but to be in love'. I am romantic about life in general. Sitting alone and writing my lyrics is love to me. Eventually, my art is my man, because I have never felt guilty about not spending time with boyfriends. You could just do away with a 'sorry'. But if I don't sit with my art even for a day, I feel when I go back to my keyboard, it stares at me as though complaining that I left it alone!
I am totally into music right now â writing, composing and singing for my very own ambitious album. I have recorded my demo version and right now my music is up on www.myspace.com/shrutihaasan. I like this forum because people from all over the world leave their comments. I want my album to be very candid and honest.
I believe in karma â what you do, comes back to you. I don't believe in religion. I have tried meditating, but I just can't do it as my mind is an express train. My meditation is my music and I find my blank spot in that.
Altruistic sideâŚ
I've donated my body for research once I am deceased, just as my dad has. It's great to donate your body because you don't know whose life it will change. I am often asked, 'Don't you feel weird that they will cut up your dad's body?' My answer: You are not your body, but you are the soul within. And his will be with me in his spirit, always, even after the body goes.
My mom really cares for causes and she is even making a film for the NGO 'The Banyan'. I had the privilege of singing for it. My dad operates in a different way. Like he has converted his fan clubs into social organizations. So most of these people rush to help when there is a crisis like a tsunami. I've myself been to Kalpakkam with relief material for rescue operations.
Understanding marriageâŚ
I don't see myself getting married now. It's really a scary thought. After looking at my parents' marriage, I don't know if it's such a great idea to marry. Maybe if I meet an incredible man someday who could change my view, it could happen. I do believe that you can have a family without marriage because my dad has one right now. What sense does it make to sign a paper today to get married, and sign another one tomorrow to annul it? If you need a piece a paper to bind you, then I feel marriage as an institution has lost its credibility. What I want to say is, I might get married but my idea of marriage is not a mangalsutra tied around one's neck to make it binding. Love should bind a couple. Marriage or living-in, if it's a very personal choice, then it sounds fine to me.
Living life on my termsâŚ
I am so happy to be a woman with a strong personal opinion and the conviction to air it. It might piss some people off, but eventually they accept you for what you are. I am so happy to be a woman except, of course, for the threading and waxing! I hope to take risks and challenges and live life as a singer, actor and an entertainer⌠I want to try and do all that I can because I love art and without it⌠well, I don't even want to imagine it! 
Health and Fitness
Seher Hone Ko Hai
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