Is this true about us ? - Page 2

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

Thank you lovelies for your kind words.

I was young and it was my first and only relationship. Growing up watching BW films had etched a certain kind of expectation that you only love and marry once (stupid me). So I overlooked all the toxic behaviour and allowed him and his family (especially his mum) to put me down constantly. I lost all my self esteem and forgot my worth during the relationship. They had somehow convinced me that I wasn’t good enough and that I’m punching above my weight. Trust me, after years of being told this, you start believing it. I’m someone who’s always assertive, confident and extremely argumentative.

My family and friends were completely shocked to see how subdued I’d become and so so scared of him leaving me. He kept threatening to leave me if I didn’t apologise or do things his way. He’d say “love it or leave it” every time I tried to reason with him. My dumb ass was worried about getting a bad name/reputation if he left me so I’d give in every single time.

It’s a learning lesson though. I’m back to my old self and have outgrown that childish mentality. With the guidance of God and faith, I’ve prioritised myself and now have become an expert in recognising red flags. I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life than ever tolerate being disrespected again.

You are one strong woman. Never forget how amazing you are. And don't lose hope on love. I am glad you learned form it.

Bullshit.

It is always women who are guilt tripped and driven to self blame and apologise.

Women apologise even if they are not at fault.

On contrary I have NEVER seen a man admit he was wrong and apologise genuinely. Even if a man apologises, he will blame woman for being too sensitive or bullying him or making him do it or provoking him or being mean, not forgetting it or holding grudges or not understanding him or rationalise his actions saying it was his nature or 'you made me do it'.

I have NEVER seen a man own up his mistakes and admit he was wrong or his behaviour was abusive or apologise or change or even stop doing same things again and again.

The same men complain when women and kids stay away from them or avoid them or dump them.

Rather they want women to tolerate all shit quietly and adjust or compromise or sacrifice or keep patience, tolerance and jhelo everything like a doormat.

All these are nothing but generalisations

So well said. Woman loses her identity after marriage. Forget marriage. Men dominate, bully even daughters, granddaughters, students, sisters.

Women are gaslit, invalidated, mocked, abused all time.

Yet men have gall to act as victims and blame women and kids or act miserable.

I hate it when Amitabh also plays victim and pretends he cannot speak in front of patniji though world knows how he dominated Jaya.

Men also ill treat kids and take frustration of own past or issues outside on wife and kids and treat kids also as punching bags.

Yet have gall to call kids a burden or nuisance or claim to be victims and claim their life was ruined after marriage and kids.

They do not even think of others or empathise. Or bother about impact of their behaviour on women and kids. But blame women and kids for being a burden or demanding or too sensitive or 'disrespectful'.

The tone deaf attitude of men and their total lack of self reflection are universal and horrible. Many refuse family therapy also or accuse therapist of taking side of kids or woman. They hate being called out or held accountable.

They later justify their deeds saying this is how they are or this is how their dad was or this is nature or biology or if their moms tolerated their dads then why not women of today or they deny whatever they do and accuse women and kids of lying or exaggerating or being too sensitive.

They rather blame women and kids or threaten isolation to women and kids. But will not change themselves.

In my opinion, everyone's opinion matters, regardless of gender. It is important to have a diverse range of opinions and perspectives to fully understand a situation. It's important to listen to and consider the opinions of both men and women to create a more balanced and equitable society.

Originally posted by: forevermem

In my opinion, everyone's opinion matters, regardless of gender. It is important to have a diverse range of opinions and perspectives to fully understand a situation. It's important to listen to and consider the opinions of both men and women to create a more balanced and equitable society.

Best post so far.

Men are from mars and women from venus was said for a reason.

Both should try understand each other with lots of communication without acting victims, with understanding each other's psyche & intent and women or even men should not give in to alldemands of their partner or act certain way changing themselves for the other.

When we fight, I get angry faster and calm down next minute. Husband needs some time alone and I hate that. I want conclusion or I can’t sleep peacefully. So, I apologize Aur baat khatam karo yar.

In many cases, Women also apologies.
Aur aise bhi cases hai jismein, ladke muh fulake ruth jate hai. 😆

It is not about demands. One thing they better understand is that partner or kids are NOT punching bags or dumping grounds to release your frustrations.

I have seen many who justify their crap saying one fights with only those who one is closest to or one has right to shout at or beat spouse and kids. Some men specifically think it is formality with others but one can be truly themselves with spouse or one has to be aggressive as so called head of the family and keep wife and kids in check.

They justify domestic violence also claiming it is not violence or it is their nature or their right as husband. That is what is wrong.

Stop this both sideism and false equivalence when most verbal, physical, sexual, financial abuse is usually from one gender against women and kids.

Most of the time they have normalised abuse so much that they do not even think of it as abuse or act as if nothing happened or act like it is daily routine and want women and kids to tolerate or forget or act as if raat gayi baat gayi.

They never even realise impact of their actions and difference in physical strength of a man. What is just a punch or kick or slap for them, can injure a woman or child badly.

Hitting women and kids with belt or cane is also common. Some are shameless enough to beat woman in pregnancy or during periods or sickness too and threaten more violence if she cries out. Do not even get me started.

No woman has ever beaten a man like this. People have no idea what even educated, earning women endure behind closed doors or in name of ghar ki baat and how many men often cuss at, abuse, shout at woman in even public places and lose their marbles and start outbursts in even airports, railway stations or malls. And later justify their shit, unhinged behaviour as 'nature' or sign of hot blooded alpha male or blame others for provoking them or take pride in what they did instead of realising how inappropriate it was.

Originally posted by: FingerFetish

On the contrary I was the one who always apologised (even when I wasn’t wrong) and wouldn’t sleep all night because I was too busy crying my heart out. I was gaslit to believe I was the bad person and my desperation to hold onto the toxic relationship and make it work meant I had to bite my tongue and let go of my self respect.

When I finally decided enough is enough, he was ready to opera sing his apologies but it was too late by then.

yes u women never apologise