surrogacy :- target on SRK/AAMIR

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

576281

Suspended

Posted: 9 years ago

#271

Originally posted by: pallavi25

Yes, I feel deeply abt surrogacy because my close friend finally became a mom after 15+ yrs of marriage.
Her happiness is a delight to behold as she poses often with her twins, one boy and one girl in pictures.

She had a problem in her blood circulation, was always on meds and could never have become a mom if not for her surrogate in India.
Although both husband and wife are originally from India, settled here, they did try surrogacy in US at first, they do have money so it wasnt a matter of getting it cheap in India.
But their efforts and trials in the US didnt work. So they went to India, didnt tell anyone here abt it and finally she broke the news to me when her babies were a few months old.
Her joy was palpable even in our chat as she showed me their pics!

But if this law banning surrogacy is passed, women like my friend wont be able to have surrogate babies of their own, because they dont live in India, though shes very much Indian in every way.
Yes, she wanted her own kids, didnt adopt, that was her choice, their choice. Cannot blame anyone for wanting their own kid.
Most Indians do believe in the apna khoon, apna DNA so they are not exceptions!
Ideally adoption shd be the way but if people want their own child, they shd not be forced to abandon that hope.
And that clause that only a close relative can be a surrogate is completely unrealistic and ridiculous!
Why would a relative agree to be a surrogate? In today's world, what do relatives do for each other anyway?

My cousins too did the same thing and they escaped the law by a whisker as they did it just the last year...But they couldn't do it in US because there were strict laws in place and the state that they lived in completely prohibits commercial surrogacy! So yes, this law is new to India but its in place in a lot of developed countries...

Quote

blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#272

Originally posted by: hermione82

NM very valid point
Sushma is idiot to pass such a vile statement but a law on surrogacy is needed. Not that I agree with everything what is proposed..The evaluation should be more on case by case basis rather than a blanket ban. But it should be restricted nonetheless considering surrogacy is more of a business in India

exactly...evaluate them and give permission only after they meet all the requirements..

@ NM...I don't get why this 10 kids thing is being thrown around ?? I used it as an example of the personal freedom in a free country...who has 10 kids these days even if they have money...i see families having more kids in the lower income families where the logic is ...more hands to work for more money...I mean what happened to common sense...that was just an example...of course any sensible person won't go ahead and have 10 kids😛

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

566912

Hibernated

Posted: 9 years ago

#273

Originally posted by: hermione82

NM very valid point
Sushma is idiot to pass such a vile statement but a law on surrogacy is needed. Not that I agree with everything what is proposed..The evaluation should be more on case by case basis rather than a blanket ban. But it should be restricted nonetheless considering surrogacy is more of a business in India

Agree with amendment. And I am sure it would come. But I am in support of Surrogacy ban for Foreigners.

Except, I would not call Sushma ji an Idiot. I really like her. She was star in Parliament during Vajpayee govt. She is one of the finest debater. And the kind of work she is doing as Foreign minister is commendable. I actually follow her so I know.

Though she was wrong in using Celebs as reference. She simply should have said, if you have 2 kids, please be content and have some responsibility as a Citizen. Just coz you can afford, doesn't mean you should. Set an example and adopt.

Quote

blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#274

@ Zandu ji...I read ur comment about name calling...i haven't read the last some pages but ...this name calling was not started by the surrogacy supporters...first it was said that SRK fans are supporting surrogacy because SRK is involved...and then someone called us idiots...after this petty accusation and name calling people reacted...so please don't make it seem like everyone was calling each other names...I can talk about myself only...but when its valid ...I support people I don't like also...I don't know what petty mentality can someone have to link everything and anything to movie stars...just because we are on a BW forum doesn't mean that these BW stars are running our lives.

Quote

566912

Hibernated

Posted: 9 years ago

#275

Originally posted by: blue-ice

exactly...evaluate them and give permission only after they meet all the requirements..

@ NM...I don't get why this 10 kids thing is being thrown around ?? I used it as an example of the personal freedom in a free country...who has 10 kids these days even if they have money...i see families having more kids in the lower income families where the logic is ...more hands to work for more money...I mean what happened to common sense...that was just an example...of course any sensible person won't go ahead and have 10 kids😛

I just quoted your thread. I read 2-3 members said in this post. That A couple can have as many kids as they want. Well, So not agree with it.

If we want Govt. to give us freedom to decide that, then let's be responsible. That's all.

Quote

blue-ice.

@blue-ice.

Achiever

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#276

Originally posted by: cricketfan1
Her jibe at the bollywood celebrities is not only in a bad taste, it also has completely deviated the more important issue to some political and personal agenda......When you are talking about something which is already so controversial and sentimental, you better weigh your words and use them properly...I say Sushma did a disservice to the cause itself by blabbering unnecessary nonsense in between!*bangs head*
Like I already mentioned in this thread, surrogacy is a taboo matter in almost all the developed countries...Hence, they use the wombs from the countries like Ukraine, India, Brazil etc where the laws are not very clear and the process also is dirt cheap! These are the people who abandon the babies when it doesn't suit them...And there are no laws which can stop them from doing so, unless surrogacy for the foreigners is banned completely!

No talking sensibly is only expected from movie stars...woh kuchh bolein toh unko sooli per latka doh...lekin kissi neta ko kuchh nahi kehna...now please no one ask us to bash our favorites when they say something wrong...because guess what ...we like them too..

Quote

Petal_Pose

@Petal_Pose

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#277

I can see why the ban on foreign surrogacy as reasonable ,but the complete ban on surrogacy with single parent, live-in-couple,and gay community seems discriminatory to me.

Yes,they are also loads of kids who require a good home. Wish the adoption for people who want to adopt were easier esp. For gay community,and singles. At the end of the day,what matters for a child he has a loving home and a parent ,other things like sexuality ,married or not are fickle infront of it.😊

Edited by NepaliStrawbery - 9 years ago

Quote

576281

Suspended

Posted: 9 years ago

#278

Oh yeah, the adoption laws! That's another thing...Its easier to suggest why not for the adoption but the adoption laws in India STINK! The cousins that I mentioned about, they first went for adoption...They waited for 5 years with no developments at that end...They weighed in the options after 5 years and went for the second best thing for them which is surrogacy!

India is lazy when it comes to making laws... Rather than trying to fix the caveats and make it available for the genuine people, they just put a blanket ban on the things...The law breakers will still go ahead and do it their way but the real law abiders are the ones who get punished because of this kind of lazy law making!There are so many orphaned kids and there are a lot of people willing to adopt them too..but in fear of the child trafficking and child abuse, they made the adoption not only difficult but almost next to impossible for the NRIs...

Quote

Me_Anonymous

@Me_Anonymous

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#279

Just a couple of weeks ago there was an article on BBC news about Surrogacy business in India. A very informative piece. I didn't like the fact that surrogate mothers could only meet their family and only immediate family at that about once or twice during the whole pregnancy. The surrogacy industry does need regulating for the sake of the surrogate mother's well being and in turn the unborn child's well being. If mother is upset during pregnancy it can have an impact on the unborn child.

For those citing population rise talk to Chinese people who have lived with One-Child Policy since the 70s/80s. My friend, who is Chinese, is from a well-off family so her family was able to pay the Fine for having a second child. Their firstborn was a boy. My friend is the 2nd child. Now, they are thinking of moving to either US or UK as there is no restricition on having children here. My friend's older brother has one son and they do want more kids.

When such bans are proposed it affects common people. Not the rich because they can pay the fine but even then for rich people the fine tends to be higher. Also such bans give rise to female infanticide as majority of the folks want sons. They don't want daughters.

About adoption. It's not easy. I heard about about this one lady who couldn't have her own children and would visit an orphanage or under-privileged kids and buy them gifts, shower them with love etc. But when after a few years she had her own child she never went back to those kids.

Loving someone else's flesh and blood like your own is not easy. Adoption is easy to say but its very complicated. Not talking about legal or moral complications but emotional ones.

One of my friend's sister was adopted by her dad's younger brother and wife as they weren't able to have their own children. Since birth, till that little girl was about 12 to 13 years old she lived with her 'parents' thinking its her family but the 'mother' didn't treat her well so much that that girl had emotional issues. My firend's parents couldn't take it anymore and brought their daughter back. Now think about what that girl went through. From being brought up by a couple she thought were her parents to being ill-treated to the extent she developed mental health issues to then finding out she is not their biological child but that her uncle/aunt are her biological parents and that she has siblings she thought were her cousins.

Perhaps those who are raising such ethically and morally pleasing issues such as adoption and bans on having x number of children haven't met those who have experienced these things. Adoption is a good thing but it should be done with a pure heart and fully understanding and accepting that if/when you have your own child someday you would love the adopted child the same. It's easier said than done. That's why I feel adoption shouldn't be the only option available to prospective parents. IVF, surrogacy etc. should be made available legally such that people aren't forced to use under-handed and dangerous methods to fulfill a basic need/happiness.

As for surrogate mother's health. There should be a law or something (whichever country it is) which states that a surrogate mother should be of sound health and the pregnancy would not cause her harm in any expected or predictable way. That she is mentally fit to carry a pregnancy through. Understands the risks associated with it.

For abnormal children being abandoned. There was a similar case a few years ago about an Australian couple who had twins through surrogacy but refused to take the abnormal sibling and took the healthy one. The surrogate mother was from Thaliand I think. There was a legal case about this issue back then. I don't remember what happened after. The abnormal child had Downe's Syndrome or something.

At least make it a law that syndromes etc. which can be checked for should be and parents told about next steps.

About being happy with x number of kids that you already have. Well how do you know what makes the other person happy. Your definition of happiness doesn't necessarily match others. Why should anyone be content with what they already have. If they want more and they can get it then why not? At least celebs or those in the social/public awareness sphere are wary of bad press and do treat the other person i.e. surrogate mothers right. If they didn't, wouldn't we all have heard about it by now?

As for educating those who are ill-equipped with having more kids i.e financially etc. Well, all we can do is educate. Eudcating someone till they realise and understand the pros and cons of something doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. Look at your own education. How long does it take to graduate from school or uni? about 15-18 years. Compare your youngerself and your views back then to now. Notice the change. Change is slow but if persisted, it does bring about positive results. At least that's the hope.

Someone mentioned their mother advising their maid. Who knows, when their maid's daughter/son has their own children they are the ones doing the advising this time.

I read this a few years ago and really liked this:

No one likes change except the one in their pockets.