I was effeminate as a child: Karan Johar

With his candid confessions on how he was "effeminate as a child" and how he used to have "sleepless nights" over the issue, Bollywood filmmaker Karan Johar stole the show on the first day of the Jaipur Literature Festival which began here on Thursday.

Talking about his book "An unsuitable Boy" at a session with Shobhaa De and his biographer Poonam Saxena at the front lawns at Diggi Palace, where the festival is being held, Johar said: "I hated the word 'Pansy' and I was called that as a child. I was effeminate as a child and I used to have sleepless nights over the fact that I am different from other children."

He said his parents were a big support system.

"Even when I weighed 150 kg, my mother said I was the best looking child in the world and my father told me that once I lost a little puppy fat, I can be a hero in Hindi films," said Johar.

Asked about the negative portrayal of homosexuals in his movies, Johar said he was the first Bollywood director who discussed the issue in films.

"Whether its 'Kal Ho Na Ho' or 'Dostana', I discussed the issue in the mainstream. I received so many letters from youngsters saying that my movies helped their parents identify their sexuality.

"Now there are so many films on LGBT and I am proud that I started it," he said.

Johar also spoke about the hard times his family faced.

"When my father had a few flop movies, we had to sell our jewellery and house. He was not invited for launch parties and it was terrible times," he said.

The director also spoke on rumours of a rough patch in his friendship with actor Shah Rukh Khan.

"Like every relationship, there have been ups and downs. However, Shah Rukh's family is part of my family."

According to the director, his best film was "Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna", and the least favourite was "Student Of The Year".

"However, it gave three good actors for Bollywood," he said.

However, his best film was KKHH, certainly not KANK. Like most artistes I think it holds a dear place in his heart as it was least appreciated.

I do however have a serious issue with his KWK Fire round question of "if you were forced to have a gay encounter ..." The words force and sex don't belong in the same context unless you are talking about rape. His intention probably was or has been to get his own colleagues to get comfortable with the topic, but considering most of them either wouldn't answer or pick him it didn't really work. Not to mention that he inadvertently cemented some people's homophobic thought that given the opportunity a gay person would want to have sex with anyone.

Back then though Karan was in the closet and uncomfortable with himself. It makes sense that his work reflects his discomfort. I think today Karan is much more comfortable with his sexuality and open about it. I do feel the Karan today may be able to do better justice to LGBT characters in the mainstream.