Global community pressurizes UN to intervene in the Khan wars
The war between the two mega stars of Bollywood, Sharukh Khan and Salman Khan, has now grabbed the attention of the UN Security Council. The international body has called for the warring camps to cease hostilities and settle outstanding issues through peaceful negotiations. The United Nations said that if required they might deploy peacekeeping forces in Bollywood to resolve the issue.
"We received an online petition signed by more than 100 million people asking us to intervene in this matter. So we immediately sent to India to get to the root of the matter," said Secretary-General of the UN council, Ban Ki Moon.
There was a lull in fighting between the fan groups of the two Khans until a couple of morphed images of the two Khans went viral on Facebook. SRK fans triggered the latest round of skirmishes by spamming the social media with an image of SRK smooching Katrina with the caption "Jab tak hai jaan". Sallu fans immediately retaliated by morphing SRK's image with the wrinkled visage of an old man with the words "kab tak hai jaan?" Both these images went viral, disrupting the lives of more than 80% of the social media population.
"Justice would happen only if the guy who morphed SRK's image is hanged in public, as he is the root cause of the whole issue," screamed a protester by name KRK.
Times Now has already started a new debate series, "Is Khan the new K word" featuring their only host/employee Arnab Goswami. There are also rumors that a special parliament session has been called in to discuss this important matter at hand.
"The PMO should also intervene in this matter as it affects our lives much more than either the Union budget or the Colgate dental cream scam," said a jobless engineer who is preparing for the civil services exams.
The UN officials have already started their high level search and were seen skimming through old copies of gossip magazines namely Filmfare and Grahshobha.
"I don't support any of them as my favorite hero is Ajay Devgan. In his last movie, he kicked a man, and he flew more than 50 meters in the air before hitting the ground, which none of the Khans can ever do," said a sixth grade boy named Raul Gandhi in a candid talk.
Ishaani
Cricket
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