Posted:
Blast From The Past (Part 2) | 2008-12-29
The boys who dared to entertain us
Last week , I refreshed your memory on the disappearing babes of Bollywood and promised to return with more.
This time around we bring to you few men who disappeared even before dawn and easily outnumbered the girls.
Thanks to the skin show, the girls managed to stick around for at least some time. But these men with their pink lips, poor acting skills, long hair and t*ts, were shunned before they could even apologize for wronging us.
I went through a painful experience in short listing a few. I share my pain...
Kumar Gaurav:
Cutie pie he was . And that's what he remained. He had an easy launch. Thanks to Jubilee Kumar.
And the chicks went into a frenzy! Oh my God ! How cute , they raved.
He followed it up with a decent 'Naam' and then phut(!) went his career!
Thereafter, the chocolate face only subjected us to dismal films and poor performances.
The dungarees he wore were painful to look at. They were so tight on his arse.
Amrita Singh,Poonam Dhillon ,Vijayta Pandit and many more went through a lot of stress trying to cope with and catch up with the 'pinkness' of his lips.
And then he disappeared!
We were clueless. Years later Jubilee Kumar tried to revive his career with 'Phool' . It let to mass hysteria. People ran out of the theatres pleading for help.
The term 'One film wonder' came to be associated with him and we have a lot of his followers around.
In 2002, he starred in the multistarrer 'Kaante' which was probably the last nail on his coffin.
Amen, we said.
Sumit Sehgal:
Sumit was decent looking. The story ends here. He was a bad actor, genuinely we mean. He starred in a string of Gulshan Kumar films then .His heroines were Shikha Swaroop, Anita Raj and Salma Agha to name a few such disasters.
The only success he saw was in the form of 'Bahaar Aane Tak' which had a runaway hit number ' Kaali Teri Choti' with Rupa Ganguly. Didn't help much.
Some of the horror he pelted on us are- 'Souten Ki Beti','Kasam Dhandhe Ki','Choro Ki Rani Haseeno Ka Raja','Naagmani' and many many more. The titles are so disturbing I tell you.
After all this, we shooed him away. But he cheated us by returning to TV serials years later. He tried to outsmart us, we shooed him again.
Hemant Birje:
He was a bigger star than the two we've ripped. Star did I say? I stand corrected. Hemant had a giant personality with bigger breasts than his heroines. To him goes the credit for starring in almost all Ramsay flicks, with his favourite , one Sahila Chadda.
A constipated actor, Hemant showed his physique in all the ghostly and ghastly films he did. He ran around trying to protect his heroines. Like we mentioned for Kimi in Part 1, the role that fetched Hemant international ...ha ha ha...recognition was of the title role of 'Tarzan' in the jungle mis-adventure.
He was brilliant in the film! Why why? Ask ask. He didn't have to utter a word in the film. All he did was fly from one tree to another, yodel, fight with fake pythons and study Kimi's anatomy.Quite an achievement for a debutant no?
He killed us with 'Aaj Ka Samson','Veerana','Kabrastan',' Maar Dhaad',' Mardangi', 'Sindoor aur Bandook' and...and...do you want me to die? I'll stop here.
Rahul Roy:
Now this actor started out with the super hit 'Aashiqui', one of the biggest musical hits ever. But to be very honest, we were confused as to who the hero in the film was. Was it him or Anu Agarwal?
Anyway, the film might have been a success story, but the verdict was loud and clear. He couldn't act. He simply read his lines and ran his fingers through his long mane. None of his films did well after that,none. We gave him so many chances.
'Sapne Saajan Ke',' Pyar Ka Saaya', 'Gazab Tamasha' and what not. But the boy just didn't click.He also starred in tale called 'Junoon' with an equally seasoned (I'm not being serious come on)Avinash Wadhwa.
Now this film was at par with the international lot, what with Rahul turning into a tiger every now and then and scaring the shit out of people (in the film only). No one else was scared because no one went to see it. Simple.
Like his predecessors, he went with the wind and we didn't bother to find out where.2006 saw him in the reality crap 'Bigg Boss'- the rehab of losers.
To the nation's dismay, he won the cash prize! And disappeared again. We tried to trace him, but good sense prevailed and we called off the search.Guess the money is keeping him home, happy and content.
I can go on and on but these men are far too many. Ican't deal with it anymore.
And before I leave, I wish my fan club and hate club a great year ahead.
Happy New Year!
The boys who dared to entertain us
Last week , I refreshed your memory on the disappearing babes of Bollywood and promised to return with more.
This time around we bring to you few men who disappeared even before dawn and easily outnumbered the girls.
Thanks to the skin show, the girls managed to stick around for at least some time. But these men with their pink lips, poor acting skills, long hair and t*ts, were shunned before they could even apologize for wronging us.
I went through a painful experience in short listing a few. I share my pain...
Kumar Gaurav:
Cutie pie he was . And that's what he remained. He had an easy launch. Thanks to Jubilee Kumar.
And the chicks went into a frenzy! Oh my God ! How cute , they raved.
He followed it up with a decent 'Naam' and then phut(!) went his career!
Thereafter, the chocolate face only subjected us to dismal films and poor performances.
The dungarees he wore were painful to look at. They were so tight on his arse.
Amrita Singh,Poonam Dhillon ,Vijayta Pandit and many more went through a lot of stress trying to cope with and catch up with the 'pinkness' of his lips.
And then he disappeared!
We were clueless. Years later Jubilee Kumar tried to revive his career with 'Phool' . It let to mass hysteria. People ran out of the theatres pleading for help.
The term 'One film wonder' came to be associated with him and we have a lot of his followers around.
In 2002, he starred in the multistarrer 'Kaante' which was probably the last nail on his coffin.
Amen, we said.
Sumit Sehgal:
Sumit was decent looking. The story ends here. He was a bad actor, genuinely we mean. He starred in a string of Gulshan Kumar films then .His heroines were Shikha Swaroop, Anita Raj and Salma Agha to name a few such disasters.
The only success he saw was in the form of 'Bahaar Aane Tak' which had a runaway hit number ' Kaali Teri Choti' with Rupa Ganguly. Didn't help much.
Some of the horror he pelted on us are- 'Souten Ki Beti','Kasam Dhandhe Ki','Choro Ki Rani Haseeno Ka Raja','Naagmani' and many many more. The titles are so disturbing I tell you.
After all this, we shooed him away. But he cheated us by returning to TV serials years later. He tried to outsmart us, we shooed him again.
Hemant Birje:
He was a bigger star than the two we've ripped. Star did I say? I stand corrected. Hemant had a giant personality with bigger breasts than his heroines. To him goes the credit for starring in almost all Ramsay flicks, with his favourite , one Sahila Chadda.
A constipated actor, Hemant showed his physique in all the ghostly and ghastly films he did. He ran around trying to protect his heroines. Like we mentioned for Kimi in Part 1, the role that fetched Hemant international ...ha ha ha...recognition was of the title role of 'Tarzan' in the jungle mis-adventure.
He was brilliant in the film! Why why? Ask ask. He didn't have to utter a word in the film. All he did was fly from one tree to another, yodel, fight with fake pythons and study Kimi's anatomy.Quite an achievement for a debutant no?
He killed us with 'Aaj Ka Samson','Veerana','Kabrastan',' Maar Dhaad',' Mardangi', 'Sindoor aur Bandook' and...and...do you want me to die? I'll stop here.
Rahul Roy:
Now this actor started out with the super hit 'Aashiqui', one of the biggest musical hits ever. But to be very honest, we were confused as to who the hero in the film was. Was it him or Anu Agarwal?
Anyway, the film might have been a success story, but the verdict was loud and clear. He couldn't act. He simply read his lines and ran his fingers through his long mane. None of his films did well after that,none. We gave him so many chances.
'Sapne Saajan Ke',' Pyar Ka Saaya', 'Gazab Tamasha' and what not. But the boy just didn't click.He also starred in tale called 'Junoon' with an equally seasoned (I'm not being serious come on)Avinash Wadhwa.
Now this film was at par with the international lot, what with Rahul turning into a tiger every now and then and scaring the shit out of people (in the film only). No one else was scared because no one went to see it. Simple.
Like his predecessors, he went with the wind and we didn't bother to find out where.2006 saw him in the reality crap 'Bigg Boss'- the rehab of losers.
To the nation's dismay, he won the cash prize! And disappeared again. We tried to trace him, but good sense prevailed and we called off the search.Guess the money is keeping him home, happy and content.
I can go on and on but these men are far too many. Ican't deal with it anymore.
And before I leave, I wish my fan club and hate club a great year ahead.
Happy New Year!
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
Jodha Akbar
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