Posted:
You have to be a little messed up for me to really love you
Karan Johar is a people's person, it comes through easily on his chat show. What also comes through is that while he is suave and chatty he is also smug and bitchy
Posted On Monday, November 24, 2008
| • From the Kantaben character in Kal Ho Naa Ho to Dostana. Are you opening the closet door in Indian cinema? I totally think so. So many people have called me and said, "you know the word gay is finally understood, accepted and being talked about and that's thanks to your mainstream film that you have put out at over a 1000 screens all over India." Today a grandmother in a house, and I know this for a fact, knows what gay is. And tomorrow if her grandson decides to come out, she will understand what it is much more than she would have. Why run away from a reality? Like people had the problem of accepting infidelity, and that's more of a reality. And today a marriage without infidelity is a marriage without a home. Wake up, smell the coffee, accept life, life can be great if you do that. • Where does this sympathy come from? Humanity, in general. Frankly, the Kantaben track doesn't arise from my worrying about how people perceive orientation, that was really just a fun track. There was absolutely no grand thought process behind that. It was Tarun (Mansukhani) who said 'Ok if that was a teaser, let's make the whole film'. If you are slighted for your caste, for your creed, for your religion or your orientation, that bothers me. It's an orientation, it's a preference and I believe that it's really your right to choose. • Is this an attitude that has come with being older? No, I have been born and brought up in a very healthy atmosphere. My mother is exceptionally modern in her approach and very liberal in her thought process. My father was very well traveled, very well read. I have been brought up in an atmosphere where things were very evolved. • Let's say a close friend of yours suddenly discovered he was gay, would you be equally accepting? If his orientation changed I would understand and say "Fine, great, God bless you, be happy if you find happiness in that but be happy. It's not whether you are gay or not, it's whether you are happy or not which is far more important." I really believe that we are here for an x amount of years and we have to achieve a religion of our own and I think humanity is the only religion over and above anything else. Your karma, your goodness, your action is a religion in itself. Going to a temple is wonderful; it gives you peace of mind. Praying to a God is fantastic, it's therapeutic. • Why aren't you married at 36? I don't want to get married. I love children. and maybe in the future I might even consider having a child because I do feel I will be a good father. I know I have been a good son, and I will be a good father. I don't want to be a good husband, it doesn't bother me. At the moment I haven't thought about whether I would adopt or go in for IVF but after I make My Name is Khan I will give this serious thought. I know my child will be beautiful, will be fantastic, and will be great and I am really looking forward to that phase in my life. As of now I really want to make my movies for a couple of years and then I will think about it. • No pressure from your mother? She is very liberal. We are the best unit you can think of. We are fantastic together, she is my friend, she is my buddy, she is my life, she is my soulmate. At the end of the day, what do you want in a spouse, you are looking for a soulmate, I have mine, my mother. I know I can share my silences with my mother. I can just come and have dinner with her and not feel compelled to say anything and she can give me that hug and may be that's all I need for the week or the month, because we all need a hug once in a while. • Absolutely. So I'd love to have a child and I think my mother and I will raise a child fantastically. I don't need a wife, I have my mom. Others around should feel envious of what I have with my mother because they all have a spouse and they have those bickerings and those problems, and their relationship with their own parents gets drained and as a result, eventually they have nothing. I am very sorted in my head. • You were this plump little boy from South Bombay, who did not want to acknowledge that his father was in films. Have you got over the insecurity of being different? I still have the insecurity and complex that I had when I was 15. I am still the same in my head. I haven't changed, I am still as insecure about the way I look, I cover it up really well with words, and put on confidence, but in my heart I am a million pieces about to break. Despite the fact that I am surrounded by a million people, I still feel very alone. I am an escapist by nature; I run away from myself a lot. I feel that if I really sit down and address myself I might just break. So I need to constantly move on, constantly go ahead, constantly do the next thing, and I know one day much later when I sit down, I might even have a nervous breakdown. I'm not what I project. • You can't run away 24x7 I can. • So then do you seek out people who are more secure so that you don't have to take on their burden also along with the burden of your own insecurities? No, I think I attract complex people. Eventually every one is little messed up about various things, but some in extremes. I think I surround myself with a lot of the extremes. I don't think I know anybody who is just simple without a layer, completely neat and clean in their head space. Every body I know is wacky and totally mad from within and I love that. I wouldn't be able to have a relationship or a friendship with somebody who is just lovely and nice. I don't even like those words. You have to be a little messed up for me to really love you. • If you discovered that your sexual orientation was not what people perceive you to be, how would you deal with it? I don't care about what people's perceptions are. People have questioned me about my orientation often. I feel it's nobody's problem. There are two words, private and personal, which I haven't put in this English language, but I know they mean something, that's why they are attached to the word 'life', private life and personal life. It's my prerogative to say "its not your problem, it's none of your concern". People don't know any thing about me actually and I don't want them to share whether I have a marriage hidden somewhere or I have a relationship that no one knows about or I don't have anything and I am a monk in my head and I have taken an oath of celibacy. Now for some rapid fire questions. These are descriptions of you by people on the street. Party animal Far from it. I love being at a party but I am not the quintessential dancing party animal getting drunk and debauch. Positive That I am. I can truly appreciate somebody else's work and not feel anything. I can feel competition, I can never feel envy. I do believe I am a rare species. Witty and bitchy I get that from my mum. If you ARE to be bitchy, you have to be witty, so I accept that as a compliment. Smug I have tried very hard to be smug, tried very hard to be snobbish. It doesn't work really. I am dying to be one, but I can't. Unfortunately I have too much of my father in me. Suave I am all about the new clothes I buy. I am all about wearing them, I am all about not repeating my clothes and I love that. I have more clothes and shoes than anyone can even dream of. I love the fact that I have made myself into this person who dresses well. I love the still camera, I love the paparazzi. I love walking down red carpets. Chatty I am a people's person. It comes from being Gemini. It also comes from being the only child. People who have lots of siblings have so much to say to each other at home, they go outside and they feel dried up, I don't. I have all the energy of conversations in me. So I am chatty, I can chat with anyone. I chat with people about things I know nothing about. I can talk about the dipping Sensex, the cricket mania, and the political upheavals. I may not know anything but I can totally fake these conversations with people and make them believe I know what I am saying. • Getting back to the gay theme, has anybody ever made a pass at you? Has a man made a pass at me? • Anyone… I don't remember anyone making a pass at me and I feel terrible about it. I am now 36-years-old and not a woman, not a man, not anybody, has made a pass at me. Or if they have then I am slow in that zone and I have not realised. I am distraught and depressed about it. I apologise to anyone who is reading this interview, who may have made a pass at me, because if I haven't responded it is because I haven't realised they had. |
Courtesy: Mumbaimirror.com
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