Friday Box-Office: The SHOLAY Returns!

ANTI

Disclaimer

All the characters and incidents in this film are imaginary, resemblance to any person dead or alive is purely coincidental. The Scriptwiter do not intend to insult/outrage or hurt any sentiments, beliefs or feelings of any person(s). No cruelty had been inflicted on the animal during the process of writing. The film has been certified U/A. We advise parental guidance due to verbal violence in the film.

Film Length: 10 mins

Don't forget your Popcorn and Coke 😛

Scene 1

Shaamgarh yeh naam to sona hoga. Yaha Thakur Puneet Singh ka Raaj chalta hai. Thakur ke do bete hai. Bade ka naam hai Upen aur chhote ka Master Gautam. Thakur ke haath Gabbar yane ke Bigg Bass ne kaat diye hai..kyuki Thakur ne Arya namak balak par Bal ka durupyug kiya tha.

Shaam ke 7 baje Shaamgarh Station pe 2 Jawaan, Honhaar ladke Jay aur Veeru utarte hai. Jay apne aapko Pundit batata hai aur Veeru ek RJ ka kaam karta hai Slum Fog Roadnaire mein. Inhe Thakur Saab ne bolaya ek zaroori mission par.

Station ke Bahar nikalte hi Jay aur Veeru dekhte hai Ek Taanga aur Taanga ko chalane wali ek khil-khilati Haseena

Ladki: Haan Babuji. Bolo. Kaha jaana hai?. Dayanpur, Sonpur, Nigargarh, Aligarh ..Kaha jaana hai bolo?

Jay: Thakur ke ghar jana hai...(Interrupted)

Ladki: haan haan..chalo..maine kab mana kiya hai..hamein befazul batein karne ki aadat to hai nahi. Pehle hi bata dete hai Thakur ke ghar tak 500 rupiye lagege ab ismein Chik chik mat karna.. Dimpy jo kai kai kar diye so kar diye.

(Dono Jay aur Veeru Taange mein settle ho jate hai)

Veeru: Thakur ke gh...(Interupted again)

Ladki: Chal Dhannu aaj teri Dimpy ki izzat ka sawal hai.

Taanga chalne lagta hai ke achanak Veeru ki nazar Dhannu ke hoton pe padti hai 😲

Veeru: Arre..Tumhari Dhannu ke hoton pe yeh laali kaisa?

Dimpy: woh baat yun hai ke hamari Dhannu ko Makeup ka bada sauk hai. Jab tak laali, puder na lagale hamari Dhannu ann ka ek dana na khaye..ise apne makeup se bada pyaar aur lagaav hai.

Veeru: Yeh raasta...(interrupted again)

Ladki: Hum to poochna hi bhool gaye..Kya naam hai tumhara?

Veeru: Veeru 😃

Ladki: Tumne yeh nahi poocha ke hamara naam kya hai?

Jay: Tumhara.. naam kya hai ..Dimpy?

Dimpy: Yunki yeh kaun bola?😡

Veeru: Arre Pundit chup hojao. Kyu beech mein bol rahe ho.

Ladki: Tum pooch rahe ho, isliye bataye dete hai ki hamara naam Dimpy hai..aur pyaar se gaon wale hamein Loudspeaker kehte hai.☺️

Veeru: Loudspeaker..bahot pyara naam hai

Dimpy:

(Kuch der baad...Taanga Thakur ke ghar aa pahoncha)

Dimpy: Yeh lo Thakur ka ghar agaya. Nikalo 500 Rupiya.

Jay: Cash to nahi hai..,Plastic chalega ?

Dimpy: Pilastik..? Babu ji..Agar Pilastik hi lena hai to kya apni Dhannu ke chehre se na nikaal le.

Veeru: 500 Rupiya to nahi hai. Yeh 400 rakh lo.

(Achanak se ek awaaj aati hai, "mujhe mera Makeup chahiye")

Veeru: Yeh awaaz kaisi? 😲

Dimpy: Arre Babuji..ghabraye mat..yeh hamare Dhannu ka 'Ringtone' hai. Jara naraaz hogayi hamari Dhannu. Woh kya haina ke Dhannu ke baapu ne Dhannu ka sara make-up ka samaan Thakur Saab ke yaha girwi rakhwa diya hai. Chhudwane ke liye 1000 rupiye lagege.

Jay: Haayee...sala.

Veeru: Ab 100 rupiya ka zugaad kaha se kare.

(Phir se achanak ek awaaz.."Disqualification")

Jay: yeh kya tha?😲

Dimpy: Arre babuji yeh Humri Dhannu ke "Alarm" ki awaaz hai. Aap to befazul ka ghabrate hai. Dhannu ke Salong jana ka taim ho gaya hai.Theek hai! Chuki aap log Thakur Saab ke mehmaan hai, iss baar maaf kardiye dete hai.

(yeh kehkar LoudSpeaker apne Taange pe baith apne raaste yane ke Punz Naala nikal jati hai)

Scene 2

Thakur ke aangan mein Jay aur Veeru ek drishya dekhte hai jinse unki ankhein chaka-chaun ho jati hai.

Jay: Tu bhi wahi dekh raha hai jo main dekh raha hu.

Veeru: Yeh Cheez Kya hai?

(Itne mein Ek budha aadmi ata hai Jay aur Veeru ke paas).

RaamLaal: Kaun ho tumlog?

Jay: Hame Thakur saab ne bolaya hai.

Ramlaal: oh! Achcha.

Veeru: woh kaun hai?

Raamlaal: Woh Thakur ki badi Bahu hai.

Jay: Yeh apne Duniya mein Gum lagti hai.

Raam Laal: Ab kya bataye..Saheb. kuch logo ka maanna hai ke iise dosri Graha (Planet) ke praani is dharti par chhod gaye hai.

Jay: Kyu??

Raamlaal: Uss Graha ke kanyaye inse Insecured aur jealous mehsoos karti thi. Kyuki Yeh Indian Film Industry ki bahot badi Superstar hai.

Veeru: Kya hum baat kar sakte hai isse?

Ramlaal: Nahi Saheb. Yeh sirf 'Jaadu' ki bhasha samajhti hai. Ise koyi nahi samajh saka aaj tak. Yeh sirf apne aap ko samajhti hai.😃

Jay: Yeh Jhaadu kyu laga rahi hai?

Raamlaal: Bas ek din Bade thakur ne kya keh diya ke "Tum Kaamchor ho" usi din se Bahurani roz subah shaam jhaadu lagati hai. Chaliye main aapko Bade thakur ke yaha le jata ho.

(Ramlaal Jay aur Veeru ko Bade Thakur ke paas le jata hai)

Scene 3

Thakur Puneet Singh apne baithak khane mein coach pe viraajmaan hai..aur bade Thakur, Upen Singh bagal mein baithe hai.

Ramlaal: Thakur Saheb yeh log aap se milne aye hai. (He leaves)

Thakur Saab: Aao Jay aur Veeru. Main tumhara hi intezaar kar raha tha.Aane mein koyi dikkat to nahi hoyi. Inse milo. Yeh mera bada beta Upen hai. Aaj hi vilayat se MBA aur AIKU ki padai puri kar ke aya hai. Apne baap ka naam Rakesh Roshan kiya hai mere Bete ne.

Veeru.., Jay ke paas jaake uske kaan mein kuch phuspusata hai; "Yaar Pundit Yeh MBA aur AIKU kaunsi degree hoti hai"?

Jay: Tu anpad ke anpad hi rahega. MBA ka matbal - Maha Bekaar Aadmi. Aur AIKU ka matbal - Aaj Iska Kal Uska. Samjha!!

Veeru: Abey..yeh kaunsi degree hoti hai.

(Interrupted by Upen)

Upen: Aap log tont maar rahe hai mujhpe?? Main janta hu aap log double meaning baat kar rahe the 😡

Jay: Humne kaunsa double meaning baat ki hai..kyu Veeru 😲

Upen: Main sab janta hu..yeh tont tha aur aap mujhe poke kar rahe ho. mujhe ullu mat banao...Mujhe hindi samajh mein ati hai 😈

('Ja ja mujhe nahi sunna teri baat', yeh bolke gusse se laal peela Upen waha se chala jata hai)

Scene 4

Thakur Puneet Singh: Aap logo ko jo bolna hai saamne boliye peeth peeche nahin. Warna tum logo ko main pyaar se thokunga

(Thakur Saab ke gusse mein aankh bahar nikal ayi).

Veeru: Thakur saheb jo baat ke liye bolaye the woh to kijiye aur shaant hojaiye. Iss umar mein itna hyper hona achchi baat nahi hai.

Thakur Saab thande saans lete hoye.."Maine tum dono ko ek mission ke liye bolaya hai. Mission ka naam hai Bigg Bass...yeh naam to suna hoga tum logo ne..Bigg Bass ka sirf awaaz sunayi deta hai, lekin woh kaun hai, kaha hai aajtak kisi ko nahi pata?

Jay: Haan pata hai..,50 lakh ka inaam rakha hai Sarkaar ne Bigg Bass pe.

Thakur: Main chahta hu tum log Bigg Bass ko dhundhu, use apne Comfort Zone se bahar nikaalo. aur mere paas laao.., taaki main Usse kutte ke jaisa kaam karao..phir main use hawalat ki hawa khilayonga..jail mein daalunga

Veeru: Thakur Saab.Bigg Bass ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi ..na munkin hai..

Jay: Arre tu "Sholay" ke picture mein yeh "Don" ka Dilog kyu bol raha hai...dekhiye Thakur Saab ..aaj tak khud Salman bhai ne Bigg Bass ko nahi dekha to hum kya pakdege use...yeh humse na hoga...

(Itne mein Thakur saab ka Chhota beta Master Gautam kamre mein ata hai)

Scene 5

Master Gautam: Papa in dono ko kyu bolaya bekaar ka.., mujhse kehti main pakad ke le ata Bigg Bass ko. Yeh to mera baye haath ka kaam hai.

Thakur: Beta mujhe tere baye haath ki saqt zarorat hai..tu chale jayega to main kise bo...(interrupted)

Veeru: yeh aapka chhota beta hai ?

Thakur: Haan yeh mera chhota beta Master Gautam hai.

Gautam: Papa main ab chalta hu..meri Girlfriend...(Interrupted again)

Jay: Tumhari Girl Friend bhi hai? 😵

Master Gautam: Dekhiye jab do bade baat kar rahe ho to beech mein mat boliye. Chup rahiye. Jab bola jaye bolne ko tab muh kholiye. Mere aap abhi Good books mein hai. Tameez se baat kijiye aap mere saath.

Veeru:

Jay: Lekin humne to..(Interrupted)

Master Gautam: Main aapke khilaaf nahi hu..bas baat ko samjho..mere dil mein aap logo ke liye kuch nahi hai. Mera dil saaf hai. Mujhe yeh attitude mat dikhaye..😈

Veeru: Yeh Dialog kuch jyaada nahi hogaya ..tum to bahot kuch bol rahe hu..tumhe kuch ghalat family hoyi hai Master...G..Ga

Master Guatam: Gautam. Naam to suna hoga. Log mujhe pyaar se Hero. No.1 bulate hai. 😎..Karan Johar ka naam suna hai? Unki agli film mein main as a lead a raha hu...Film ka naam hai, "Mere Dil mein aapke liye kuch nahi hai".⭐️. Roz Producers ki line lagi rehti hai ...kayi Ads bhi kar raha hu...samajh rahe ho.

Jay: Sachchi?...kaunse Ads..humne to kabhi aapko kisi Ad mein nahi dekha?? 😲

Master Gautam: Tumne shayad nahi dekha hoga..

Veeru phir Jay ke kaan mein phuspusata hai.."Are Pundit kahi yeh Sandhi Sudh...(Interrupted by Jay)

Jay: Tu anpad ke anpad hi rahega..yeh bade log hai..yeh bhala kyu tel bech..(Interrupted by Master Gautam)

Master Gautam: Meri ek baat aaj sunlo 😡

Jay: Haan..boliye!

Master Gautam: Zindagi mein Ghada palo, Billi palo, Kutta paalo .Lekin ghalat fami mat palna

Master Gautam: Theek hai Papa main ab chalta hu..meri Girlfriend "Rainbow" mera nadiya kinare intezar kar rahi hongi..

Jay: Rainbow! Yeh kaisa naam hai bhala. aur tumhare gaal pe yeh lipstick ke nish..(Interrupted by MG)

Master Gautam: Aap apne kaam se kaam rakhiye. Pehle mujhe aap logo pe trust tha 100%...80%.. 65%...40%...aur ab...(Interrupted by Jay)

Jay: Tu hain kaun hamein number dene wala..kaun hai tu?? Doston ko number deta hai..😡

Master Gautam: SShhh..shaant ho jayeye. Main hamesha sach bolta hu..Abhi aap mere Good Books se nikal gaye ho. lekin mere mobile pe aapka number jaroor rahega..

(Yeh kehkar master Guatam Thakur Saab ke paiyr chhuta hai..)

Thakur: God Bless you Beta!..Jaldi ana ghar. Raat hone se pehle..zamana kharab hai.

(Master Gautam waha se chala jata hai...apni Premika "Rainbow" se milne)

Thakur: To kya faisla kiya hai tum logo ne.. mera kaam karoge ya...(Interrupted)

Jay: Maaf kijiye Thakur Saab..Hamein aapke mission mein koyi dilchaspi nahi. Humein bas apne game mein interest hai. Hum apni dil ki sunte hai kisi ke ishaaro pe nahi naachte. Main ahinsa wadi aadmi hu, aur sach ki rah pe chalna chahta hu. Ab hum chalte hai...Jay Raam Ji ki.

Veeru: Thakur Saab muft mein ek salah (advice) de rahe hai pyaar se rakh lo..nahi to thappad maar ke bhi de sakte hai..woh yeh ki Slum mein rehne wale log bhi insaan hote hai.,aur unmein bhi Atmasamman hota hai. Aur haan!!Bigg Bass ko paane ka sapna bhol jao.. chalte hai! Jay kanhaiya Laal ki...

(Yeh kehkar dono Jay aur Veeru apne manzil ki aur nikal pade)

...THE END...

Blockbuster..Chartbuster hit...Trade Pundit "Taran Adarsh" gives ***** and give an assurance that the audience will like it and the movie will do 500 crore business at the ticket window. 😃

P.S. Gif's are borrowed from Sir.Meowington's Gif's Gallery. Thanku Meow for bringing smile 🤗 on our faces.

Contstructive Criticism is always welcome but no personal remark/bash