Superiority Complex........ ? - Page 3

Originally posted by: SimsNaiken

I’m gonna get some hate for this but here goes.
I’ve been meaning to pen this down for a while now.

After seeing how Aly, Arshi, Rahul and mostly Ejaz behaved in the press conference — it became a little clear to me whom among all of them has a superiority complex.

Superiority Complex - is a behavior that suggests a person believes they're somehow superior to others. People with this complex often have exaggerated opinions of themselves. However, a superiority complex may actually be hiding low self-esteem or a sense of inferiority.

Psychologist Alfred Adler outlined that the complex is really a defense mechanism for feelings of inadequacy that we all struggle with.

The symptoms of superiority complex may include: (I’ve numbered some for discussion ease)

1 - high valuations of self-worth

2 - boastful claims that aren’t backed up by reality

3 - attention to appearance, or vanity

4 - overly high opinion of one’s self

5 - a self-image of supremacy or authority

6 - unwillingness to listen to others

7 - overcompensation for specific elements of life

8 - mood swings, often made worse by contradiction from another person

9 - underlying low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority

OBVIOUSLY this is not a clear science as psychology usually is many layers of complex psyche but this does give us a little idea into the issue as a whole. I feel everyone is using this term incorrectly.

When Rubina tried to explain this when she said that Superiority complex isn’t a complex of where you feel superior it’s where you feel inferior to others and there everyone interrupted her and Ejaz shouted “Hence proved”. (That legit means nothing he thought it means).

Honest discussion I see #6 in Rubina a lot. I feel she’s very stubborn at times and doesn’t always listen to others as easily as she expect them to listen to her. I also see a bit of 4 and 5 in her. She is authoritative but that to me is sometimes a pro and not always a con (She’s also a flawed human as we all are).

One of the reasons why I feel Rubina does not have this complex is because she is successful— madly successful.

She is one of the top actresses in her field (she didn’t come in BB after becoming irrelevant — she’s here after packing up a big successful show).

She has many awards to her name (also from her younger years she’s been an over achiever).
She has no reason to feel like a failure. She’s even more successful than her husband.

Rahul and Ejaz on the other hand did not enter BB in their peak.

My focus is mostly Ejaz though I feel that #8 is strong with him. He loses his tatti when and if people don’t listen to him. He’s done living his glory days — I mean he’s not really a happening star RN. He’s gained some stardom from BB now.

Now that he’s out he gave an interview to PeepingMoon and in that he’s asked - how do you feel after seeing all the love from fans and his response is was I feel like I’m finally getting the recognition I deserved— makes you feel like #1 and #9 are relevant to him.

And the Ejaz at the press conference I mean what was that!? Who comes into a press conference and flexes (#1 & #3 ?). Plus the arrogance with which he answered his questions— it did not look like the same Ejaz who was inside the house.

His Twitter page has a back ground pic of him showing the middle finger. This is a public page where it’s visible to the public, his industry peers and young people. Is it just me or is that not cool?

Before anyone comes at me with the whataboutery — in no way am I saying Rubina is perfect. I just do not believe she’s got a superiority complex. It’s more a Ejaz and perhaps a Rahul complex.

Side Note - Abhinav I feel was the most respectful and well behaved celeb in that press conference. I don’t know why Ali and treated the press so horribly if this was a panelist where their peers were there would Ali and Ejaz have behaved the same way? In front of Salman? Not at all.

Anyway that’s just been on my mind for a while.

Watch Abira Dhar’s article and video here about the same.

https://www.thequint.com/entertainment/tv/rahul-vs-rubina-facts-behind-the-bigg-boss-14-press-conference

Just reacting to the bold highlighted sentence.

She didn't say what you claim she did. She said superiority complex is when others feel inferior. So she put the onus squarely on the others and this is a common trait in her. She never owns up to anything in general and to anything she said in particular. She gets away with partial amnesia every time it's brought to her notice like whaaat did i really say this!!! implying of course that she didn't and then her better or bitter half pitches in trying to offer a petered down version or a completely fabricated version to prove her right. This is a pattern.

Originally posted by: SimsNaiken

Oh baby ko thaes pasand nai?

You can pass snide remarks and mock me, but I pass a few witty ones back to you and you don’t like it? I was in fact rather genuine for the most part.

In any case. We can’t keep going at it cause’ our ideologies are very different.

Sooo I guess it is a mooT point 😏

🍻👍🏽

🤣 mr / madam I dont think you can take criticism and since you can't defend your so called fav, my pov is moo point.

Well keep you moo point to yourself and next time be better prepared for counter argument.

🤢

Originally posted by: Silveraliax

Wow this brought back the psychology class memories. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this and love how someone actually posted a thread with proper psychological backing.

I wish you had mentioned Freud's ego, ID and super ego theory as well as Alfred Adler's inferiority complex definition. I think their theory makes a lot of sense for Eijaz and Rubina too.

Eijaz from day one, I could see that he wants to be the best and wants to be a perfectionist and there is nothing wrong with that. Ita just that he pretends to not care but he is the one who cares the most which is why he was very disappointed when Sonali told him that Rubina was very popular. He was also upset when challengers came in because he thought he had failed to entertain the audience and this happens because he wants to strive for succeed - element of superego as he feels guilty for "failing".

Again nothing wrong in this and his childhood trauma also backs up why he is like this. The only problem is that he labels others as having a complex when he himself does. Interrupting Rubina when she was giving inferiority complex example, was clear evidence how he himself has superior complex. He just hides it.

Rubina does have shades of it too. I mostly see it in the way she treats her friends. Even when they're wrong, she will defend them. Even when they neglect or backstab her, she will run behind them. Example, Jasmine and Nikki. They are not always right but Ruby will protect them despite this.

Agreed a 100% I wanted to dig deeper but by then the post was already so long लोल I was trying to keep it short plus I knew it would only attract snide remarks.

I find people often immediately jump to conclusions that I am being pro Rubina rwhen I did state that I see some aspects of the complex in her too, but I do feel Ejaz is a better example of the complex than Rubina is. She gets a lot of the hate, I believe cause she is a female. As a female you can either be a baby like innocent personality, a mother/big sisterly figure or a vamp and batameez.

*Edit -- forgot to add mother figure. (all of which aren't a threat for a patriarch's 'superego' - the psych term not the colloquial one --- which explains why SK has an inherently ugly way of speaking to Rubina and Abhinav as well for that matter. SK does not see Abhinav as a patriarch, Ali on the other hand gets SK's sensitive side because those superegos connect -- often referred to as vibe in the more colloquial lingo... aaahhh Ok this was supposed to be a small edit but I've digressed... )

Regarding the last paragraph — agreed again. To her the image of her friend being wrong in front of others is not something she wants to highlight as she doesn’t accept/highlight her own short comings/flaws in front of others either. This idea of being in control, being perfect, not crying (showing emotions because she feels they maybe are signs of weakness) — I never argued that Rubina was perfect.

My stance was always that she gets a different treatment than the men in the house who do the exact same things and are even more visibly suffering from this complex.

Thank you for your comments. I genuinely enjoyed reading it. 🙌🏽

Originally posted by: SimsNaiken

Okay well Firstly, I do not agree with the use of the word Feminazi - It is very much a derogatory slur -- but I will assume it was not intended or meant that way (truthfully that's sort of like assuming the N word is not what it means but anyway we move on).


"What I have seen is an arrogant, pretentious woman who’s needlessly aggressive, who enjoys putting people down, who judges others on the basis of class, sophistication and education, a feminazi who thinks men are all beneath her. This is nothing but superiority complex."

-- I have not found signs of her showing arrogance or being needlessly aggressive. I do find her aggressive when there are altercations, which seems to be the usb of this show. This aggression in the male contestants is taken as a positive trait, but she is judged for it. Example-- repeatedly Abhinav is told to stand up and take action against people who fight with him. On WKVs he was told that It seems you leave things mid altercation, you don't understand what your fans are saying, don't slap but fight back and so on and so forth. Here Rubina is doing exactly that fighting back and she's somehow too aggressive? I'd like for you back this point up... She seldom swears, she does not invade personal space as much as others have done and most importantly she does not break BB house property in fits of anger like some of the other HMs have done quite openly in anger.

-- The enjoy putting people down, judging people - I have not seen her do that. In their free time this group generally talks about a lot of other stuff that's not always related to the house and its people. Abhinav was even made fun of this, for the random facts etc he talks about. This does not mean that gossip and bitching does not happen -- of course it will that's a given.

However if you mean in a fight if she's using the words aukaat etc again I would argue almost everyone does that. Mujhe fark nai padta, tum koun hotey ho, tu hain koun bey etc are version of the same word -- aukaat. It's essentially saying you are nobody in a nicer way. So this again she is not the only one guilty of. I'm not saying she doesn't do this, I'm saying everyone does it.

-- Lastly if she was an extremist feminist, one that believes all men are beneath them -- she wouldn't have been married. Of course this is an assumption that extreme feminist don't marry but its harder to get along with someone of the opposite sex when you believe the world is a better place without men.
I do however believe that toxic men and patriarchal men she looks down upon and personally thats how it should be. If we are not on the same page on this point -- then we're dealing with 2 very different sets of ideologies between us and we'll forever be at an impasse and I'll leave it at that.

If you’re talking about the press conference, what would you say her behaviour was? Making faces at the people around her, swinging in her chair like a bored four year old, rudely turning her back to the press when others were talking... that isn’t superiority complex?

--- So I don't always like to respond to whataboutery because, it kind of deters the conversation but yes ok we'll indulge in this one too.

Rubina making faces at what Rahul was saying and doing all those antics was not mature at all. I never claimed she was the best of the lot - I found Abhinav to be the best of all of them. However context is important here -- Was Rubina rude to the press NO. Rubina was rude to Rahul who from the very first question was interrupting her and making audible snide comments when she was answering. At one point he even stood up to clap etc. So should she have risen above this low bar that was set -- Definitely a million times yes, but if she did not and gave it back to the person heckling her during her answers does that make her somehow suffer from superiority complex? Rather unlikely.

Being successful doesn’t automatically entitle anyone to dictate or look down upon others. It’s neither a privilege nor a virtue.

---- I agree completely with this completely. So was rally looking down on the reporters in the press conference?

Ali said you should come with prepared notes next time when we all know he was blatantly lying he has spoken ill about Rubina and Abhinav. Everything that reporter said, Ali has said, repeatedly (you can see in the live feeds I'm not just making this up).

Ejaz, who was so rude that the reporters present there actually called it and even the celeb hosting Kamya had to mention that he's coming across rude. To make up for this faux pas Ejaz has given 2 more interviews explaining how he was so tired and agitated cause he was not in his own surroundings and at Pavitra's place -- even that his phone was dying and he didn't have a light ring.

Now you tell me compared to what Rubina did vs just these 2 -- why is she the only one with the superiority issue? Because she is a woman? How dare she be so strong and confident in herself? how dare she act just like the men?

I genuinely don't know. The way toxic men are hailed as Gods I'd think everyone should love Rubina cause' accordingly she has all of the same qualities as these men. -- OK that was an emphatic retort not a factual one. I try to not do that often, being a woman I know all too well how emotional responses reduce the value of what I'm saying.


Anyway, this was a lot to write, took up my entire lunch time and I have not eaten yet.... I do not think I will change your mind (seeing as the feminist word you misused I am confident I won't change your mind)... but the rhetoric around her gets to me and burns my apple. I empathize with her.

Women like Rubina are important to be seen on the TV screen. Unapologetic, confident, by all means flawed and not sans faults but self assured and dignified.

She's not perfect but she's a woman hear her roar.

Cheers

Some people may not have the patience to read or understand your post. But I want you to know that I really enjoyed reading your in-depth analysis and I agree with you. Everyone has shades of gray but I admire the inherent strength in Rubina, which is sometimes perceived as arrogance.

Originally posted by: TishaB

Some people may not have the patience to read or understand your post. But I want you to know that I really enjoyed reading your in-depth analysis and I agree with you. Everyone has shades of gray but I admire the inherent strength in Rubina, which is sometimes perceived as arrogance.

~ Alfred Willow

❤️ Much appreciated.