IS THERE NOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS SHOW? - Page 2

Originally posted by: Ashley_m

Again, it wasn't because of the marriage, but despite it. I always maintained even while watching that love happens on multiple levels, the emotional attachment and affection however is the most important part of it... And that developed between the two before the leap. The romantic aspect was just the last piece of the puzzle, which fell into place when they had those tiny interactions after the leap. But Bondita wanting to meet Ani after leap had nothing to do with romance as we both agree. Also, Ani was always going to be Bon's first crush unless she was specifically conditioned otherwise (being repeatedly told that he is her brother/father figure), her crush was not because of the marriage, but because of his actions. The conditioning was when this crush was encouraged by the society because of the marriage, which is what Ani was fighting against and what he meant to avoid by annullment and by the no contact.

Ani saying that only Bon will be in his heart does not make him a pedophile or creepy. He did refer to the 12 year old who had become the person his life revolved around. That took a severe emotional commitment, one that he did not wish to share with anyone else. And that emotional commitment would definitely be expected in a marriage. Also, one important thing that is to be noted is that at that time Ani had no hopes for his feelings being reciprocated. And he did not even wish to compel her in any way. Ani had been intellectually attracted to Bon even before he he met her, but that was due to her thoughts.

I cannot explain the whole sequence of events right now because it would take forever, but I would leave it at because of the afore mentioned 'grey area' the makers actually left some extremely ambiguous scenes which were open to interpretation, and can be seen on an extremely grey spectrum. But given the time period and all the attempts at preventing what went wrong, I do not believe there is anything problematic in the show.

Many of us have a crush on our mentors as a child, or specifically as a teenager or maybe a pre teen. That's not weird until it's just us but if a teacher reciprocates it, that's some creep out there(and he didn't reciprocate)

In the case of bondita, the marriage plays a prominent role in shaping things that happened to her. If it was not deliberately those teenagers nd kaka instilling to her nd conditioning her to see her husband like that, it was still a problem considering that she's calling him pati babu nd the world around her is calling her his wife and uss ghar ki bahu. That's an important part so I can't say that a married bondita having a crush on her mentor was completely natural, maybe to some extent but not completely. However we can't deliberately associate that to anirudh as he didn't have any creepy intentions. So even if it was not direct conditioning which happened anirudh would've still been against it nd should've been.

Also any affection or attachment is not a problem until that attachment is platonic.

Regarding the confession, I don't see a problem with anirudh saying that bondita uske dil m h, attachment nd heart to heart connection exists in any close relationship, they can be completely platonic. But am I wrong if it feels wrong that anirudh sees bondita as a potential mate (with an emotional commitment not really romantic) before he even met her as an adult. I know a soulful connection is what's the important part in a marriage and a marital relationship and that connection may or may not be romantic but you shouldn't accept a (platonic) marital relationship with a child right? A deliberate marital relationship with a child is wrong, be it platonic or romantic or be it between 2 children. Anirudh had not even seen her as an adult, and he was having memories of her as the little girl for whom he used to arrange doll weddings nd dance to put a smile at her face, so even if he knew that she was an adult, he was still recalling her as a child, and he had not yet seen her.

Also in order to fall in love with someone you need to spend time with them, understand them and the power balance between you needs to be equal, u like someone when you have something in common with them. And in order to fall in love with someone, you need to first spend time with them. Now the platonic attachment between them existed since forever but even before meeting him, it changed to romantic for her when keeping it mind at this point, he's still the upper hand in her life, her mentor, a friend too who came down to her level when he played with her as a child but a mentor too. And that power dynamic difference still existed at that point when they had not met, not even once.

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

Many of us have a crush on our mentors as a child, or specifically as a teenager or maybe a pre teen. That's not weird until it's just us but if a teacher reciprocates it, that's some creep out there(and he didn't reciprocate)

In the case of bondita, the marriage plays a prominent role in shaping things that happened to her. If it was not deliberately those teenagers nd kaka instilling to her nd conditioning her to see her husband like that, it was still a problem considering that she's calling him pati babu nd the world around her is calling her his wife and uss ghar ki bahu. That's an important part so I can't say that a married bondita having a crush on her mentor was completely natural, maybe to some extent but not completely. However we can't deliberately associate that to anirudh as he didn't have any creepy intentions. So even if it was not direct conditioning which happened anirudh would've still been against it nd should've been.

Also any affection or attachment is not a problem until that attachment is platonic.

Regarding the confession, I don't see a problem with anirudh saying that bondita uske dil m h, attachment nd heart to heart connection exists in any close relationship, they can be completely platonic. But am I wrong if it feels wrong that anirudh sees bondita as a potential mate (with an emotional commitment not really romantic) before he even met her as an adult. I know a soulful connection is what's the important part in a marriage and a marital relationship and that connection may or may not be romantic but you shouldn't accept a (platonic) marital relationship with a child right? A deliberate marital relationship with a child is wrong, be it platonic or romantic or be it between 2 children. Anirudh had not even seen her as an adult, and he was having memories of her as the little girl for whom he used to arrange doll weddings nd dance to put a smile at her face, so even if he knew that she was an adult, he was still recalling her as a child, and he had not yet seen her.

Also in order to fall in love with someone you need to spend time with them, understand them and the power balance between you needs to be equal, u like someone when you have something in common with them. And in order to fall in love with someone, you need to first spend time with them. Now the platonic attachment between them existed since forever but even before meeting him, it changed to romantic for her when keeping it mind at this point, he's still the upper hand in her life, her mentor, a friend too who came down to her level when he played with her as a child but a mentor too. And that power dynamic difference still existed at that point when they had not met, not even once.

He just knew that he's emotionally attached to her. So, there's nothing creepy here.They shared the same progressive mindset and had their own ways of expressing them. As previously mentioned, she was his weapon or means through which he would bring about a change in the society that he had envisioned.

Anirudh loved her Soul that was intelligent, progressive yet innocent and soul knows no age.

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

Many of us have a crush on our mentors as a child, or specifically as a teenager or maybe a pre teen. That's not weird until it's just us but if a teacher reciprocates it, that's some creep out there(and he didn't reciprocate)

In the case of bondita, the marriage plays a prominent role in shaping things that happened to her. If it was not deliberately those teenagers nd kaka instilling to her nd conditioning her to see her husband like that, it was still a problem considering that she's calling him pati babu nd the world around her is calling her his wife and uss ghar ki bahu. That's an important part so I can't say that a married bondita having a crush on her mentor was completely natural, maybe to some extent but not completely. However we can't deliberately associate that to anirudh as he didn't have any creepy intentions. So even if it was not direct conditioning which happened anirudh would've still been against it nd should've been.

Also any affection or attachment is not a problem until that attachment is platonic.

Regarding the confession, I don't see a problem with anirudh saying that bondita uske dil m h, attachment nd heart to heart connection exists in any close relationship, they can be completely platonic. But am I wrong if it feels wrong that anirudh sees bondita as a potential mate (with an emotional commitment not really romantic) before he even met her as an adult. I know a soulful connection is what's the important part in a marriage and a marital relationship and that connection may or may not be romantic but you shouldn't accept a (platonic) marital relationship with a child right? A deliberate marital relationship with a child is wrong, be it platonic or romantic or be it between 2 children. Anirudh had not even seen her as an adult, and he was having memories of her as the little girl for whom he used to arrange doll weddings nd dance to put a smile at her face, so even if he knew that she was an adult, he was still recalling her as a child, and he had not yet seen her.

Also in order to fall in love with someone you need to spend time with them, understand them and the power balance between you needs to be equal, u like someone when you have something in common with them. And in order to fall in love with someone, you need to first spend time with them. Now the platonic attachment between them existed since forever but even before meeting him, it changed to romantic for her when keeping it mind at this point, he's still the upper hand in her life, her mentor, a friend too who came down to her level when he played with her as a child but a mentor too. And that power dynamic difference still existed at that point when they had not met, not even once.

I to partially agree with you Bonita love for anirudh is understandable she was put the thing in her mind that she is his wife and he belongs to her only we in the show have seen many a time bondita (child) getting angry or feeling betrayed if anirudh is to be in some sort of romantic interest with a woman whether it Mimi or mano..... This thought of her of owning anirudh was encouraged by kaka and society she was turned out like that it mentioned in the show that even with her friends she used to talk about anirudh only it like this that she even aspired to be a barrister cause anirudh wanted it so badly not for herself ...she is truly anirudh creation he made her a woman that he wanted.... I often feel bad for bondita don't get me here's I know that she got facilities that woman of her era can't even dream off but almost every single decision of her life was taken by anirudh good or bad what ever she never had a choice.... But her falling in love with anirudh is not at All problematic in my view cause woman in general like to date old and mature man who can give them a security in and out..

Now here comes the real problem 😂

Anirudh and his feelings I still can't decode it he after leap specially behaved like devdas 2.0 for whatever reason and it was promoted on the shoe that how he lost his smile after bondita went away not cause of his father and family but cause of his kabhi patni kabhi zimedari was not there and as soon as she was here he started living again.... I too agree with you about him rejecting vj proposal for bondita but I don't think he was rejecting vj for a child but he for and adult when ever it was asked by vj that who is in his heart he only remember adult one not the child one.... But no one can every deny that makers showed 😂 anirudh being in love with bondita pre leap mera dil to pyaar mera kesse kaho kya lagea toh meri sasse meri too they just escaped it through ximedari rant

But what so ever it was regarding anirudh feelings will always be my favorite point of discussion as their is so much to explore and view

Please shed your view

Thanks

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

Many of us have a crush on our mentors as a child, or specifically as a teenager or maybe a pre teen. That's not weird until it's just us but if a teacher reciprocates it, that's some creep out there(and he didn't reciprocate)

In the case of bondita, the marriage plays a prominent role in shaping things that happened to her. If it was not deliberately those teenagers nd kaka instilling to her nd conditioning her to see her husband like that, it was still a problem considering that she's calling him pati babu nd the world around her is calling her his wife and uss ghar ki bahu. That's an important part so I can't say that a married bondita having a crush on her mentor was completely natural, maybe to some extent but not completely. However we can't deliberately associate that to anirudh as he didn't have any creepy intentions. So even if it was not direct conditioning which happened anirudh would've still been against it nd should've been.

Also any affection or attachment is not a problem until that attachment is platonic.

Regarding the confession, I don't see a problem with anirudh saying that bondita uske dil m h, attachment nd heart to heart connection exists in any close relationship, they can be completely platonic. But am I wrong if it feels wrong that anirudh sees bondita as a potential mate (with an emotional commitment not really romantic) before he even met her as an adult. I know a soulful connection is what's the important part in a marriage and a marital relationship and that connection may or may not be romantic but you shouldn't accept a (platonic) marital relationship with a child right? A deliberate marital relationship with a child is wrong, be it platonic or romantic or be it between 2 children. Anirudh had not even seen her as an adult, and he was having memories of her as the little girl for whom he used to arrange doll weddings nd dance to put a smile at her face, so even if he knew that she was an adult, he was still recalling her as a child, and he had not yet seen her.

Also in order to fall in love with someone you need to spend time with them, understand them and the power balance between you needs to be equal, u like someone when you have something in common with them. And in order to fall in love with someone, you need to first spend time with them. Now the platonic attachment between them existed since forever but even before meeting him, it changed to romantic for her when keeping it mind at this point, he's still the upper hand in her life, her mentor, a friend too who came down to her level when he played with her as a child but a mentor too. And that power dynamic difference still existed at that point when they had not met, not even once.

@bold And never in that conversation did Ani say that he was married to her. Their relationship was not just platonic or just romantic or just that of a mentor mentee... They were soulmates, who developed a romantic relationship when the time was right. And again as Tinnie mentioned in her post, emotions can never be wrong, your intentions and actions are what are wrong. And Ani never saw Bon as a romantic interest until Bon confessed her love to him, and he had spent time with her (as VJ). However, when you talk about pre-leap Ani's feelings. Between HM and Bon's menarche he had made his peace with the fact that Bon and him were married and most likely would stay married. So yes at that time he did start thinking about the future. It is only when Kaka began to press him for consummation and he realised about Bon's crush was when he himself realised about the indirect grooming, and took steps to counter it. He did all he could to free Bon and give her a genuine choice. So again nothing problematic about it.

And Bon's feelings for Ani started taking a romantic turn before she officially met him, they still could have changed when she met him in person (as VJ), however they increased more and more. Because her intention behind going there was not to woo him, rather it was to help him, to be there for him just as he had been there for her.

There was no obligation, and hence no power dynamic either...

Originally posted by: Chumu

I to partially agree with you Bonita love for anirudh is understandable she was put the thing in her mind that she is his wife and he belongs to her only we in the show have seen many a time bondita (child) getting angry or feeling betrayed if anirudh is to be in some sort of romantic interest with a woman whether it Mimi or mano..... This thought of her of owning anirudh was encouraged by kaka and society she was turned out like that it mentioned in the show that even with her friends she used to talk about anirudh only it like this that she even aspired to be a barrister cause anirudh wanted it so badly not for herself ...she is truly anirudh creation he made her a woman that he wanted.... I often feel bad for bondita don't get me here's I know that she got facilities that woman of her era can't even dream off but almost every single decision of her life was taken by anirudh good or bad what ever she never had a choice.... But her falling in love with anirudh is not at All problematic in my view cause woman in general like to date old and mature man who can give them a security in and out..

Now here comes the real problem 😂

Anirudh and his feelings I still can't decode it he after leap specially behaved like devdas 2.0 for whatever reason and it was promoted on the shoe that how he lost his smile after bondita went away not cause of his father and family but cause of his kabhi patni kabhi zimedari was not there and as soon as she was here he started living again.... I too agree with you about him rejecting vj proposal for bondita but I don't think he was rejecting vj for a child but he for and adult when ever it was asked by vj that who is in his heart he only remember adult one not the child one.... But no one can every deny that makers showed 😂 anirudh being in love with bondita pre leap mera dil to pyaar mera kesse kaho kya lagea toh meri sasse meri too they just escaped it through ximedari rant

But what so ever it was regarding anirudh feelings will always be my favorite point of discussion as their is so much to explore and view

At the time he talked to vj his confession was for the younger bon nd he said that wo meri zimmedari se kahi upar h, tbh i never liked whenever he referred to her as meri patni(not saying it was creepy or stuff) I was good with him calling her uski zimmedari

Coming to bon, I didn't see any jealousy nd all with him being with mini, she was toooo little that time, even then kaka tried to induce it into her when ani mini were dancing together nd she was in turn happy. At the time of mano, it was portrayed that she's brainwashed nd hence the reaction

Regarding rtm 21 that has been one of the weird things for me since it came. I was gaping at the screen when it played 🤓. As with the other explanations that it was still soulful nd not something else can fit in there too, but.....I would say if anirudh had thereafter not cleared his stance for bondita say in the starting of mano track, I would have been confused ki matlab kya tha uska. The mano track was horrible and horrible nd so horrible because of multiple reasons but atleast I was happy I got his perspective into their relationship into that nd he was still sane.

As I said in the first and original post, I had a problem that they are showing their attachment as a husband-wife (even though in a platonic sense). That's what I said glorifying a platonic child marriage.

😑🥱 This argument doesn't seem to end anywhere! I still remember that this argument was held from the beginning of the show so I think it's better if we just respect each other's views and go on with our opinions! Everyone has their own opinions so let them live with those! Everyone has different perspective so no more arguments on this topic! Let's be happy with our own views!

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

At the time he talked to vj his confession was for the younger bon nd he said that wo meri zimmedari se kahi upar h, tbh i never liked whenever he referred to her as meri patni(not saying it was creepy or stuff) I was good with him calling her uski zimmedari

Coming to bon, I didn't see any jealousy nd all with him being with mini, she was toooo little that time, even then kaka tried to induce it into her when ani mini were dancing together nd she was in turn happy. At the time of mano, it was portrayed that she's brainwashed nd hence the reaction

Regarding rtm 21 that has been one of the weird things for me since it came. I was gaping at the screen when it played 🤓. As with the other explanations that it was still soulful nd not something else can fit in there too, but.....I would say if anirudh had thereafter not cleared his stance for bondita say in the starting of mano track, I would have been confused ki matlab kya tha uska. The mano track was horrible and horrible nd so horrible because of multiple reasons but atleast I was happy I got his perspective into their relationship into that nd he was still sane.

As I said in the first and original post, I had a problem that they are showing their attachment as a husband-wife (even though in a platonic sense). That's what I said glorifying a platonic child marriage.

@bold - Well then she hadn't even bonded that close with Anirudh and she had a childish mind who got jealous regarding innocent things not regarding this "He is my husband!" Nothing like that! She just saw two friends dancing with each other. Everything happened after she entered her adolescence! She started developing romantic feelings, crushes which is natural, hence the jealous feelings.

@bold+italics - I agree with that. It was quite weird for me as a person who disliked child marriage said this, when he said Zimmedari I was happy that he was against child marriage 😆But listening to the same thing everytime had blood flowing through my ears 😒

@red - Yes! Horrible because of its poor execution 😆

Let's just respect each other's views and be happy with our perspectives!

A very good discussion on socially relevant subjects with proper understanding. 👏

Originally posted by: Nothingatall

As we all know there was a show in 2017 which glorified marriage between a little boy and an adult woman called pehredar piya ki which was banned(thankfully).

Having a few things in mind I would like to state here my opinions on barrister babu. First of all, the situations in which the marriage happened made sense nd i understand why he married her. Second the relationship was platonic between them. And third obviously the different time period makes it different from ppk

1. But as I watched the show, the show at many times was pretty hypocritical. At one place they showed how child marriage was harmful to children on the other they glorified child marriage in many instances. I mean, the bond to me is not a problem when it's between two friends, between a mentor mentee. But they did show them as a couple, even though as a platonic couple in some instances. In short they glorified a platonic child marriage in many points. And the audience of the show were very supportive of it all. Were even protesting to make an adult call a girl child his wife. Also the romantic vms nd creepy fan fics nd all, the intent of the producer could be good or bad but the effect it had on people was problematic as hell. Specially the young people, believe or not it did influence people in a negative light. Maybe such a delicate topic for this reason should be a finite series not more than 100 episodes. And the worst part, not once did the writer/producer/director/adult cast of the show came forward to maybe address people that it isn't cool to ship neither anirudh bondita nor aurra pravi as both bondita and aurra as kids!!

2. And specifically the romantic relationship. People may say the romantic relationship between them is not problematic as it started when they were both adults.That's exactly the excuse ped****** use when they prey on kids. They choose their victim, a child and groom them into a relationship with themselves slowly and after they are off age pounce on them and romance them. It appears consensual but sadly it's not. Now it would only be ignorant to say that the feelings which came into bondita as an adult were harmless nd not problematic. Don't tell me if anirudh had taken her responsibility like a brother nd not a husband at the point nd then taught her, gave her wings, would she have still fallen for him? No. She would have seen him as nothing but a brother figure or most to most a friend but not a potential romantic mate she wants to marry. So is it not a problem? And anirudh?? How is it so easy that you mentor a child and fall in love with them when they're off age? And the way his feelings were shown, that confession in front of vaijanti when exactly did he fall in love with her? When the 12 year old went away from him? So the 22 year old fell for the 12 year old after he parted away from her was what he confessed to adult bondita. Infact he was seeing her as a potential mate. The romantic angle itself is problematic but the way it came makes it worse. This is potentially the definition of child grooming.

Now we know this is itv nd the clinched trope of romance was quite foreseen but does that make it non problematic? So my question is should shows like this even be made, specially on TV when trp can make people do anything? Nd did it do people any good? Max people never watched it for the social messages but for just the couple.

These are just my views on the show, if anyone wants to put out theirs please be respectful

And for the second one I do agree that post leap was next level disappointing , I dropped this show although I was the one waiting eagerly for leap as I wanted the story to progress in a good way rather than the makers trying all the clinchy itv plots with Aurra , ...... But but they disappointed me .....

Anyways later I did decided to binge watch after the show went off air ......But the so called love story of Anirudh Bondita was ethically wrong and most illogical one ,I think 😆 .....Okay I do agree that from both side subconsciously they were husband wife , so couldn't really expect them to treat each as brother sister atleast not from Bondita's side as she was always being bombarded with this idea from her childhood ......But ,it doesn't justifies her 'Out of nowhere romantic love' for Anirudh , not at all, Romantic love needs time , it would have made sense if she would have felt in love with him during that "Vaijayanthi" phase . And Anirudh , Sorry , but they did ruptured their own main lead by making him pedophile .....There was literally no logic , no logic for him to "romantically love" Bondita .....

It would have been much more sensical if instead of Bondita Anirudh would have felt in love with Vaijayanthi as he did spent time with her , she did provided him with the much needed emotional support he was lacking , she did made him laugh again , So ,him falling in love with her would have been far better rather than the shit they actually showed ......

Okay my fault to expect too much from a itv show🥲